franciscanheart Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 [url="http://phorum.phatmass.com/index.php?showtopic=21281&view=findpost&p=371338"]http://phorum.phatmass.com/index.php?showt...ndpost&p=371338[/url] read there.... then.... what should I have done?? I don't know how to battle so many people at one time. Or maybe battle is the wrong word. But i was being attacked and it happens a lot!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piccoli Fiori JMJ Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 Defend what you know is true! That is all! It's the same as a one on one defence... It will happen often... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted October 2, 2004 Author Share Posted October 2, 2004 I know and that's what I attempted to do but all they said was how stupid it was and when they're yelling and not talking civilly and not hearing me out on anything, ... I'm just not sure what to do in that situation. There were SO many of them!! And almost all of them were yelling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 The best thing to do when people start yelling, trying to make a point, is to calmy answer them, it's hard I know but remember Christ didn't go around yelling at everyone to get His point across He was very calm when speaking, teaching, and explaining Btw, from what you told me you handle the situation very well, so I give you major props girlie !! Remember just like debating any Catholic doctrine or dogma there are those who have shut off their hearts from the truth and they are not willing to open their hearts to the truth. It's frustrating, believe me I know But I'm proud of the way you handle yourself and proud of the way you did not give into them. Pray for them that they may open their hearts to the truth I'll be praying for them as well. God Bless, Jennie Catherine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted October 2, 2004 Author Share Posted October 2, 2004 It really is so hard to stay calm when talking to them or rather listening to them yell. So hard. [quote]Btw, from what you told me you handle the situation very well, so I give you major props girlie !! Remember just like debating any Catholic doctrine or dogma there are those who have shut off their hearts from the truth and they are not willing to open their hearts to the truth. It's frustrating, believe me I know But I'm proud of the way you handle yourself and proud of the way you did not give into them. Pray for them that they may open their hearts to the truth I'll be praying for them as well.[/quote] Thank you, Jennie. I am praying for them. Thank you also for your prayers for them. They obviously need them. God bless and thanks again, Laura Thomas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piccoli Fiori JMJ Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 I'm very proud to call you both my sisters! :group: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duc_In_Altum Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 First off, I admire you for your courage. You've done good by not going on the attack. You stood up well for your passion which is really spin. I know how hard that can be to keep your cool. Good for you, young lady. Secondly, as sad as it is, I can't find the baby comment shocking. The world can be really cruel and it's not the first time i've heard that rotten statement. I think it has such a huge impact on pro-life Catholics like you and me and so many others, because the bottom line of our message is truth and love. It seems like you're really passionate about it- which is a great thing. Sometime's others don't see the sincerity of others and how much things mean to them and they take it too far. Particularily those with shallow but seemingly-firm defense for their pro-abortion beliefs. (meaning their primary defense for abortion is to personally attack and push buttons and corner the other) They don't understand that this goes deeper than a political viewpoint. That this is at the heart and soul of Christ's teaching and therefore, holds a very special place in our hearts. A place that need to remember, that the world, with all its jeers, cannot shake and is reinforced with the hardships we experience. Thats the place of a martyr. which is, in a way, where you stand now. You suffered for your faithful passion. Connect your sufferings with Christ's death on the cross. And he will bless you. Also, you should know that you're not alone in your struggles. Know that there are others who have been there (Jesus) before. A good idea is to stay in groups of two as the Christ originally sent the Apostles. He'll be there in your midst. Find a truely good friend (one that shares your beliefs, and is willing to hold you up during hardships and hold you accountable when you stray) and stick close to them. That way, you'll never feel alone in a situation like that. You both can be strong in your weakness. Also surround yourself with truely good friends so you can really get the support pillar going. Be careful who you award the SACRED title of "friend" to. Jesus with his throng of followers only called twelve people his friends. He showed us that its better to have a small yet faithful and deep group of friends than to have a huge group of shallow and uncommitted people who will come and fade. All in all, just keep praying for life and those who support it. You are so strong and have so much love. That is a really special thing. You will be in my prayers. Blessed be those who suffer and are persecuted for the sake of rightousness; theirs is the reign of God. in faith, hope, and Christ, -Joe Hahn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted October 2, 2004 Author Share Posted October 2, 2004 Thank you Joe. Your words mean a lot to me and are truly helpful. The friends thing is something I have worked on for a long time which is why I think I was so appalled hearing the goat statement come from a Catholic FRIEND of mine. She's been different lately but the extremes that she has gone to now is quite devastating not only to me but I'm sure to Christ. The people in my group pretty much know that I don't consider many people my friends. I don't have any at school. Anyway, I feel like I'm rambling. I have had many experiences with calling people my friends who weren't. I have learned a lot from those people and those so called "friendships." Again, thank you for your kind words of both support, encouragement and of course of advice. You, too, will be in my prayers. God bless!! with love, in Christ, Laura Thomas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musturde Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 It's soo hard to argue when everyone around you is ignorant. I'll pray for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EcceNovaFacioOmni Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 I would just tell them to investigate it personally. To look beyond modern secular values and popular culture to things that are eternal and of God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phatcatholic Posted October 2, 2004 Share Posted October 2, 2004 hughey, i have to second what colette said. nothing is more powerful then when three or four people are yelling at a person, pointing thier fingers and getting all carried away, and the person being yelled at is perfectly calm. they are out to make you look like the idiot, but, to the outside observer watching this conversation, its the ones who are yelling who are "out of control." you have to set yourself apart as a person who is above it all. act as it if is not even happening at all. why is this important? well, for one, people yell b/c of the emotions that an argument stirs within them. they wish to defend themselves b/c of how your words made them feel, so they speak louder then the words that aroused them. they hope that their reply will find strength in the tone with which it is presented. but, when you reply in a calm manner, you reveal your stength is solely in the words that you say. the truth has power and in of itself, and has no need to be aided by inflection in your voice. also, you show them that their arguments do nothing to effect your stance. when you respond emotionally you show them that their arguments have had some effect on you. this will cause them to yell even more so as to increase this effect. but, when you respond calmly, you show them just how weak their arguments are............so weak that they don't even illict an emotional response. how do you do this? well, the best way is to turn on a fiddler that you cycle every single thing through before anything comes out of your mouth. you have to become extra sensitive to how every single word makes you feel, acknowledge that emotion, and then ask yourself if it would be fruitful to express that emotion given the nature of the dialogue. for example, when your "friend" says "babies taste better" you would say to yourself: "ok, i'm feeling myself get really angry at that statement" "would it help this diaglogue to respond in anger" "they are gettting angry so it wouldn't be beneficial to respond in kind" "therefore, self, you must calm down. calm down. deep breaths" "now, what is the best argument to give in reply" "say it" .......and then you say it, and it is calm, and VERY effective. now, this inner process of filtering may seem like it takes too long, but really it only takes a fraction of a second. the main thing is to recognize immediately how an argument made you feel, and to do something productive with the emotion. now, let me say that i am not discrediting the power of emotion. often times it to can be a powerful witness b/c it reveals the passion and love you have for something. however, it only works with people who will respect that emotion. in a context like the one you describe, where the obvious intent is to GET you to be emotional and their comments are blatantly disrespectful, such is not the place to share your emotion w/ them. at least, i don't think so. but, in a dialogue w/ people who truly care about you or who are responding logically and with civility, emotion will show them the "heart" of your stance, that you are saying something not b/c it is the most logical solution but b/c it truly means alot to you. now that the important stuff is out of the way....... that group you were with are freakin ridiculous. i mean, how are you gonna tell someone to "shut up and sit down?" i mean, who the hell does that person think he/she is? that would have given me all the more reason to walk out. and that one person saying, "oooh ooh, ask her about this and that!" basically, that person has just revealed how insecure they are b/c they want so badly to add to the conversation. its all quite pathetic really. .......which makes it all the more amazing that you were able to sit back down and deal w/ those people. honestly, i think you handled it very well. were there any guys there? if so, they are all gutless wonders. i would NEVER be able to sit back and watch people bring a girl to tears. nothing breaks my heart more than when a girl cries. i would have taken up for you for sure!! anyway, i think i'm starting to ramble now so i'll end it here. i really respect you for what you were able to do and i hope that my comments are helpful. Pax Christi, Nick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted October 3, 2004 Share Posted October 3, 2004 great thought Phat I wonder to if there were guys sitting at the table, all the guys I know would not have stood by and watch a girl cry like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted October 3, 2004 Author Share Posted October 3, 2004 There were guys. Half of the table wasn't listening to us, they were having their own heated debate over school issues that have been plaguing us recently. The guys on my end didn't do anything. They all just kinda sat there. I'm pretty sure all of them agreed with the girls that were yelling and some just tried to ignore that it was happening. Thanks Nick for your comments. They are helpful... very helpful. I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts!! Anyway, I guess I didn't think twice about no one defending me. It usually turns out that way. I am the "crazy" one who has been "brainwashed" and so I am shunned by the masses when conversation comes around to such topics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted October 3, 2004 Share Posted October 3, 2004 (edited) [quote name='hugheyforlife' date='Oct 3 2004, 01:54 PM'] I am the "crazy" one who has been "brainwashed" and so I am shunned by the masses when conversation comes around to such topics. [/quote] Jn:15:20: 20 Remember my word that I said to you: The servant is not greater than his master. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they have kept my word, they will keep yours also. (DRV) Mt:5:11-12 11 Blessed are ye when they shall revile you, and persecute you, and speak all that is evil against you, untruly, for my sake: 12 Be glad and rejoice for your reward is very great in heaven. For so they persecuted the prophets that were before you. (DRV) Mt:10:22: 22 And you shall be hated by all men for my name's sake: but he that shall persevere unto the end, he shall be saved. (DRV) Mt:24:9: 9 Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted and shall put you to death: and you shall be hated by all nations for my name's sake. (DRV) Lk:6:22: 22 Blessed shall you be when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you and shall reproach you and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake. (DRV) Lk:21:17: 17 And you shall be hated by all men for my name's sake. (DRV) Jn:15:18: 18 ¶ If the world hate you, know ye that it hath hated me before you. (DRV) Jn:15:19: 19 If you had been of the world, the world would love its own: but because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. (DRV) hehe just a few verses that speak very strong words on this matter God Bless, Jennie Catherine Edited October 3, 2004 by StColette Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted October 3, 2004 Author Share Posted October 3, 2004 jennie!! haha. thanks sis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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