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I Need Some Hardcore Prayers Right About Now


immaculata

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I've been secretly struggling with my faith for a long time, and tonight it's confronting me face to face. Please offer up prayers for my soul.

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Thy Geekdom Come

We all love you, Immaculata!

Our prayers are with you.

Post your intention here: [url="http://www.bellwetheromaha.org/Forms/PrayerReq.htm"]http://www.bellwetheromaha.org/Forms/PrayerReq.htm[/url]

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i always thought that i was the one who had everything figured out, but now i guess i'm realizing that i've been putting on an act for a long time, you know?

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[quote name='immaculata' date='Sep 27 2004, 09:42 PM'] i always thought that i was the one who had everything figured out, but now i guess i'm realizing that i've been putting on an act for a long time, you know? [/quote]
you know what? we all do that from time to time. you are definately not alone in this.

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i'm having this conversation with a friend right now that kind of explains it:

Katrina: i've just been having some serious doubts about my faith lately, and this conversation i'm having with matt is making me come face to face with a lot of doubts and things
Catherine: oh goodness.... okay.. I will most certainy be praying
Katrina: thank you :-)
Catherine: no prob
Katrina: i never really saw myself as this weak
Catherine: :-( awww
Katrina: i always thought that i was the one who had everything figured out, but now i guess i'm realizing that i've been putting on an act for a long time, you know?
Catherine: yeah
Catherine: like are you like doubting and then thinking you're leading yourself into hypocracy?
Katrina: i don't know.. it's like..
Katrina: i've never really forgiven him for our fight and what we went through last year
Katrina: and i thought that i had like moved on and started a new life, and part of that was shunning him and pushing him away as much as i could
Katrina: like, i tried to build this tough exterior so that he couldn't hurt me again
Katrina: and finally tonight he confronted me about it and said that it's really ruining everyone's reputation of me when i'm so rude to him
Katrina: and i realize that he's right, but i don't want to admit it because i don't want to give in and let him have the upper hand again
Katrina: and now i'm just kind of questioning everything, because he's saying that i'm not acting christian and i'm starting to wonder exactly what it means to be a christian
Catherine: .....wow
Katrina: i try so hard to be good catherine, i really do
Katrina: it's just SO hard sometimes
Catherine: I know Katrina... I know
Katrina: and i WANT to be happy, i just don't know how
Katrina: i thought that i would be happy if i made matt pay for everything that he put me through
Catherine: yes, but Jesus never sought revenge and look what He went through....
Katrina: i don't know how to be like that!!
Catherine: revenge has never solved any of the world;s problems...
Catherine: and it's not worth it
Katrina: i'm so stubborn, i don't want to admit that he's right
Katrina: mostly, i don't want to admit that i'm wrong
Katrina: it's like, i don't want to trust him, and i don't want to trust anything he has to say about religion
Katrina: i'm such a terrible person :'(
Catherine: I take it he's Catholic?
Katrina: yeah
Katrina: very much so.. lol
Catherine: okay
Katrina: you ever watch the show "angel force" on ewtn? he's on there
Catherine: oh really? okay
Katrina: he was supposed to perform at the catholic family conference but they had to drop out..
Catherine: i was there this weekend
Katrina: yeah i wish i could have gone :-)
Katrina: mmm it's kind of like, i'm in love with the- catholic church, but i don't know how to love god
Katrina: :-\
Katrina: if that makes any sense
Catherine: indeed it does
Katrina: i'm just so utterly confused right now
Katrina: i dunno.. i feel like i've been leading you and erin and sarah and jenni on, pretending like i'm this great catholic when i'm really not

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Thy Geekdom Come

[quote name='immaculata' date='Sep 27 2004, 08:42 PM'] i always thought that i was the one who had everything figured out, but now i guess i'm realizing that i've been putting on an act for a long time, you know? [/quote]
Rachael's right. Many people have had the same struggle. Just keep clinging to everything you know and keep praying. God loves you, as you know, and I promise you He will make everything all right.

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see, that's the problem, I'm not even sure if it's worth it to keep persevering! I feel like I've just been running around in circles!! How do I know that this religion is even true? I know it's terrible for me to say that... :sadder:

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Thy Geekdom Come

Awww, Katrina...I think you're a good Catholic. Do you want to know why? Because when you notice some sin or flaw in your spirit, you confront it and want to make it better. We all have our problems and we all feel at times that we're not being good Catholics, and it's true that we can always improve, but being holy at any given moment isn't so much the point of Catholicism as becoming better. It's about the effort we put into changing for the better, and I promise you that you are trying do be a better person because it's very clear from the way you've talked about it in this thread, and I can also promise you that it will bear fruit. God bless you.

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Piccoli Fiori JMJ

[quote name='immaculata' date='Sep 27 2004, 07:57 PM'] Sometimes I wonder if God is even there, or if we are the most pitiable of geniuses...... [/quote]
I have had that one come to me many many times...

i try to ignore it, and go on

Then I find that when in His presence, I know it is true...

It is a very hard battle! Just remember to never give up fighting against satan and the doubts he puts in your head! We are always here to pray for you! Never give up hope and PRAY! We love you dearly! Don't give into satan's taunting and temptations!

God Bless and Mary Protect!
Yours in the Most Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary,

Angela

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