What Do You Do In Wal-mart?

[shelly_freak]

These are some of my favorite things to do when your in Wal-Mart:

1.Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2.Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3.Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4.Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.

5.Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6.Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7.Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8.Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9.When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially down thin narrow aisles.

10.Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

11.Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

12.Play with the automatic doors.

13.Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14.While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this carp, anyway?"

15.Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16.Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

17.Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

18.Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19.As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20.Put M&M's on layaway.

22.Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

23.Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

24.Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

25.Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

26.Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

27.TP as much of the store as possible.

28.Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

29.Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

30.When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

31.When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

32.Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

33.Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

34.Take bets on the battle described above.

35.Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

36.While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

37.Hold indoor shopping cart races.

38.Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."

39.Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

40.Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

41.Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies ?"

42.Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

43.Two words: "Marco Polo."

44.Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

45."Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

46.In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

47.When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

48.When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

49.Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50.Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

[rachael]

I wanna play Marco Polo

[shelly_freak]

I wanna build a tent

[rachael]

putting m&ms in layaway....i could do that

[shelly_freak]

attempt to fit into very large gym bags, ive done that

[homeschoolmom]

[quote]7.Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters[/quote]

what's a typewriter?

[rachael]

i have played hide and seek

[shelly_freak]

[quote name='shelly_freak' date='Sep 17 2004, 11:52 AM'] 48.When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!" [/quote]
little kids do this sometimes at my work when we have the 15 min warning. one time a little boy started screaming for his mom and running around the library, i think he thought we were gonna lock him inside

[Soldier4Him]

Some of those are a riot, but some not so much for the employees and it makes more work for them (I'm a Target employee and trust me, we don't appriciate some of that stuff)

[quote]1.Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.[/quote]

ThaT'S carpy cuz we can't leave after we close til EVERYTHING is put away.


[quote]10.Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.[/quote]

Our equivilant of a code 3 is a lost child (although we call it by a different code name, we use colors) and that's nothing to joke about.

[quote]27.TP as much of the store as possible.[/quote]

That may get you into SERIOUS trouble. I've seen it happen.

[quote]28.Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
[/quote]

More mess for us to clean up. Cuz ya know the customers won't do it!

[quote]36.While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
[/quote]

That will bring security and the cops over. We have them on hand.

[quote]38.Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."[/quote]

[color=blue]THAT IS SO FUN!!!!!![/color]

[quote]44.Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

45."Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.[/quote]

VERY UNHAPPY EMPLOYEES.



And I"m spent. I'm not trying to stop your fun here guys, just think about the people who have to clean up your messes before you make them.

Edited September 17, 2004 by Soldier4Him

[StColette]

*comes in to shamefully admit she has played Marco Polo in Wal-Mart*


ROFL it's soooo true

[Lil Red]

you are the people i wanted to hurt when i worked retail.

[picchick]

THIS IS GREAT!!!!


I GOTTA GO DO THAT SOMETIME!!!!!

LOL!!!

[shelly_freak]

Soldier4him, believe me I know how that is, I work at the local library and I have to clean up after so many patrons it's not even funny. And all those little kids ripping apart the puzzles and strewning the blocks all over.

[i feel like im taking crzy pills]

Okay, I feel bad for the people who have to clean up all the stuff, but playing in the store is sooo much fun..

Can anyone say Marco Polo?

[christ_myantidrug]

WOW! i was like on the floor rolling guys. Another fun game is...umm i dont remember what its called but you go in teh store, and separate from your friends, and everybody makes bird noises and you try and find each other, judging on the bird noises. be aware, you will get suspicious looks from fellow shoppers.