Mr. And Mrs.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote name='StColette' date='Sep 15 2004, 08:20 PM'] I was taught great southern manners. I've always said Mr. and Mrs. "yes sir" "no sir" "yes ma'am" "no ma'am" "please" and "thank you". I don't only treat adults like this but also my peers and those younger than me. I'm not sure if the Paltalk peeps have caught me answering them if they call out my name but I normally answer "yes sir" or "yes ma'am" unless I just use their name. [/quote]
hehe...it's cute...

I usually don't call my peers by those proper things, though when I do, it's usually just "sir" or "ma'am" and only when I'm in a formal setting or I'm somehow subordinate.

I think it can actually be considered rude here to call your peers "Mr." or "Mrs." because it would most likely come across as some sort of sarcastic, caustic use of the terms in order to mock the practice.

[Theoketos]

[quote name='geetarplayer' date='Sep 15 2004, 04:42 PM'] Not only was I taught to use Mr. and Mrs. (or Ms.), but I was also taught to say "Yes, sir," "Yes, ma'am," "No, sir," and "No, ma'am." At the theatre I go to, my fellow cast members think it's funny that I refer to the director as "Ms. Jewel," while everyone else just says "Jewel."

-Mark [/quote]
Yes sir, that is way things are done in the south growing up in a military family!

[Scofizzle]

I was taught the same with an exception....if they were close family friends I could call them ...Mr or Mrs. First name i.e. Mr. Bob

[Guest T-Bone]

Close friends of the family could be addressed by thier first name, all other adults were "sir" and ma'am".

[Pete-ster]

I've always been taught to address adults by thier surnames...Mr. Smith, Mrs. White, Miss Clark...I'm only 14...there is hope for the younger generations...don't you old fogeys get worried!

Ooops...that's Mr. Old Fogey, right?

[Carrie]

I call close friends, family, neighbors, and friends' parents by their first names. I even call my b/f's parents by their first names. If I don't know you well, then I'll address you as Mr. or Mrs and priests are always addressed by Fr. or whatever title is appropriate. It's not thought of as bad manners in my neighborhood because we all try to get to know each other and have a close neighborhood relationship. If we all called each other Mr. and Mrs., it would seem more formal and less of a family environment. I guess it has alot to do with where you live.

[cmotherofpirl]

Anybody a generation older than me is addressed as Mr or Mrs no matter how many years I have known them. Otherwise, my mother would come down and wash my mouth out with soap even now.

My children's friends either call me mom or Mrs C. Nobody calls me by my first name. No younger child here addresses an adult by their first name, it would be considered incredibly rude. Teenagers refer to adults by their first name in private, but never to their face. We run in and out of each others houses here and have down so for 20 years, but proper manners are maintained.

[homeschoolmom]

Yeah, that's pretty much how my friends and I are (the Mr. and Mrs. thing). My children have very close relationships with my friends (who are their friends' parents) and they are like aunties and uncles. But they still get the respect of a title. However, that is NOT what is common here in the "mainstream" secular world. It's totally common for children of all ages to address their elders by first name only (I don't think some of them even know our last name)... My neighbors thought I was nuts because I instruct my kids to call them by Mrs. while their children don't do likewise to me... It's all so much more "friendly" that way... boloney... as I said, the Mr. Mrs. thing has not kept my kids from being close to my other friends. Must be a carpy Minnesota thing... I've had kids ask me my name and I tell them Mrs. Homeschoolmom and they look me like I'm insane... Only teachers have last names. And some of them don't either...

[Sojourner]

I still am not quite sure how to introduce my parents to my friends ... I usually use their first names, but it's a little awkward.

I did the whole "Mr./Mrs." thing, and most of my friends' kids call me "Miss Abby" which is OK. I like that they call me by my first name rather than by my last, but still have the title of respect. If and when I ever marry, I'd kinda like to be "Mrs. Abby" or something along those lines, rather than "Mrs. whatevermylastnameis."

But usually, that's not up to me ... the kids' parents make the decision and I get to live with it.

[Carrie]

[quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Sep 17 2004, 05:06 PM'] It's all so much more "friendly" that way... boloney... [/quote]
That's your opinion. It depends on where you live. Just because it is the norm to call people by their first names here doesn't make us "incredibly rude" people. My friends' children call me Carrie and that's fine with me.

I don't see what the big stink about the Mr./Mrs. thing is. I can understand that to some it is a form of respect but the Mr./Mrs. thing isn't a mandatory thing for everyone you associate with. Both of my parents introduce themselves to my friends by first names...that's just the way we do things.

If that makes us rude people, so be it.

[jasJis]

[quote name='Sojourner' date='Sep 17 2004, 03:39 PM'] But usually, that's not up to me ... the kids' parents make the decision and I get to live with it. [/quote]
It isn't up to the kids or their parents. It's up to you to be adressed with at least the minimal amount of respect you believe you deserve. If you would like to be addressed more casually, you may ask the parent if that's okay, but you should always be adressed at least as formally as you'd like. Even if that is with at Mrs. or Mr. or Miss. If you want to be called by your first name, you say "You can call me Pat, if that's okay w/ your parents." If the parents expect their kids to be more formal, you have to allow that. More casual is up to you alone.

It's nice growing up and living in the South. It's easy to be respectful and give respect without feeling 'submissive'. I say Yes ma'am and please and thankyou to the girl at the McDonald's. It doesn't cost me a cent to be nice.

[track2004]

There are people I address with the title of Mrs. or Mr. (or whatever), but most of the 'friends of the family' I address as Cindy or Becky or Andy because this is how I was taught to address them. Anyone I meet who is over thirty I do address with their surname until it is indicated I shouldn't. Even if they do tell me I can address them by their first name, sometimes I still feel uncomfortable doing it, with a teacher for instance.

I think that how you use my name is up to me and so if someone calls me Katherine I tell them I prefer Kate and if anyone calls me Ms. [my last name] I'd tell them to call me Kate. I'm 18, I don't need that authority, who knows what I'd do with it . Anyway just my $.02.

[homeschoolmom]

[quote name='Carrie' date='Sep 17 2004, 03:57 PM'] If that makes us rude people, so be it. [/quote]
I don't think I said it was rude. What I meant by first names being "friendlier" is that my neighbors think it is "unfriendly" to use titles, and I disagree.

Certainly adults of differing generations can be equally informal with each other at least if they want to. And I don't have a problem with teens calling me by first name...

And we do have some people who prefer Miss Firstname, and that's fine with me.

I think jasJis is explaining my thinking very well. However, I wouldn't insist on other kids calling me Mrs. It's not the norn here, so I just let it lie...

[immaculata]

At work, I call everyone by their first or last names (Pat, Stenger, Pam, Stuckey), since that was the way they were introduced to me. I tried to call my boss "Mr. Rainey" when I first got hired, but right away he said, "Mr. Rainey is my dad. Call me Tom."

I do work with my friend's father, so I still refer to him as Mr. Carroll.

It seems weird and inappropriate, but considering where I work it's appropriate for the situation.

Everyone else I call Mr. or Mrs. unless they've asked me to call them by their first name.

[AndreaMercer]

Maybe it's because of my age, but I do not want to be called Mrs.Mercer. I am 21 and it would freek me out if my children's friends started calling me that. I would much prefer to be called by my first name. I'm not completely sure about why it would be more respectful for someone to call me anything else... Growing up, we called most of our parent's friends by their first names, unless otherwise asked. My husband called people Mr. and Mrs. though... He called my dad Mr. until we got engaged...I think my dad always felt akward about it too... Maybe I'm a hethen....but, we just don't do that around here... lol

However, Fr. so and so is ALWAYS Fr. I would never call a priest by just his first name! He has a very special place in this world that deserves acknowledgement.