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Do You Cry?


Phazzan

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My grandma died this year... no funeral. and when my grandpa died, there was no funeral either... nothing... no gathering-- nothing. They didn't want funerals. So there was no way for us to deal with the loss... so we haven't... it's just <poof> gone... :(

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[quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Sep 13 2004, 10:23 AM'] My grandma died this year... no funeral. and when my grandpa died, there was no funeral either... nothing... no gathering-- nothing. They didn't want funerals. So there was no way for us to deal with the loss... so we haven't... it's just <poof> gone... :( [/quote]
Wow, that's weird ...

The last funeral I went to was for my friends 2-year-old daughter. I cried copiously before, during, and after.

Personally, I think we as a society are so disconnected from death that it's unhealthy. To not even have a funeral makes it so difficult for friends and family to work through grief. I think it's important to grieve as a community, and not having a funeral denies that aspect of grief.

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[quote name='Sojourner' date='Sep 13 2004, 10:32 AM'] Personally, I think we as a society are so disconnected from death that it's unhealthy. To not even have a funeral makes it so difficult for friends and family to work through grief. I think it's important to grieve as a community, and not having a funeral denies that aspect of grief. [/quote]
Yeah... I think we prefer to deny our own mortality...

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[quote name='theculturewarrior' date='Sep 13 2004, 11:10 AM'] Well...not really giggling fits. Just kind of "smiling" fits. It's still weird, I know. :( [/quote]
I know what you mean. It's like no other emotions seem to fit...
One time, my English teacher just started crying during a poem, and I sort of giggled/smiled. Not because it was funny... it just came out. I mean, I didn't find it funny whatsoever.

I think maybe giggling/laughing/smiling is a reaction to both funny things and to awkward situations. It's just an awkward emotion for awkward situations.

Does that make any sense??


Probably not :D

~Kerry~

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[quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Sep 13 2004, 10:34 AM'] Yeah... I think we prefer to deny our own mortality... [/quote]
I think the same is true for birth. It's only been within the last 50 years or so that it's become common for births to be done in a sterile, antiseptic hospital environment. Before that birth was a part of the cycle of life, people gave birth in their homes.

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theculturewarrior

[quote name='FiZzGiG' date='Sep 13 2004, 10:39 AM'] I know what you mean. It's like no other emotions seem to fit...
One time, my English teacher just started crying during a poem, and I sort of giggled/smiled. Not because it was funny... it just came out. I mean, I didn't find it funny whatsoever.

I think maybe giggling/laughing/smiling is a reaction to both funny things and to awkward situations. It's just an awkward emotion for awkward situations.

Does that make any sense??


Probably not :D

~Kerry~ [/quote]
yeah, that makes sense. :)

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[quote name='Sojourner' date='Sep 13 2004, 10:41 AM'] I think the same is true for birth. It's only been within the last 50 years or so that it's become common for births to be done in a sterile, antiseptic hospital environment. Before that birth was a part of the cycle of life, people gave birth in their homes. [/quote]
Well, true. The pendulum is swinging back though... from home to uber-steril-knock-the-mom-out-get-the-forceps births, to more moderate natural births, back to homebirths (why anyone would do that on purpose is beyond me... but to each her own!)

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[quote name='FiZzGiG' date='Sep 13 2004, 10:39 AM'] I think maybe giggling/laughing/smiling is a reaction to both funny things and to awkward situations. It's just an awkward emotion for awkward situations.
[/quote]
I heard that laughing and crying are very closely connected... thus people cry when they are happy and laugh when sad or upset. Emotions are :crazy:

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[quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Sep 13 2004, 10:53 AM'] Well, true. The pendulum is swinging back though... from home to uber-steril-knock-the-mom-out-get-the-forceps births, to more moderate natural births, back to homebirths (why anyone would do that on purpose is beyond me... but to each her own!) [/quote]
I have several friends who have done home births ... they really like the experience. As much as you can like birth, that is. :)

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[quote name='homeschoolmom' date='Sep 13 2004, 10:55 AM'] I heard that laughing and crying are very closely connected... thus people cry when they are happy and laugh when sad or upset. Emotions are :crazy: [/quote]
Yeah, I cry when I'm very happy. I can understand that.

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[quote name='theculturewarrior' date='Sep 13 2004, 09:59 AM'] I don't cry. It's really not healthy. I internalize grief. Sometimes I have giggling fits at funerals. Not because I'm happy the persons gone...it's just that I go numb. :( [/quote]
You know, sometimes this happens when we are dealing with death. One time we were on the way to the wake of my grandmother's funeral (the prayer vigil the night before) and you know, I was totally depressed, had been crying, the whole bit. I really loved my grandma. I still think about her a lot.

But we were driving to the church, and my brother was driving and made a wrong turn, came screeching to a halt in an alleyway. And in front of our car was this cat who just stared at us really dumbly. For some reason this struck me as funny, and I got into a fit of giggles on the way to the service. Nobody noticed me in the back of the car trying so hard to supress my laughter. At the same time I felt somewhat panicked wondering what the heck was wrong with me, and praying to God I would be able to stop before I got to the church.

I did manage to pull it together. It was still a really hard time.

When you first lose a parent, you cry all the time for at least a year, they say. That's certainly true for me because my mommy died unexpectedly a year ago in November. I didn't have any giggle fits at the funeral though. I had cried the entire morning prior, so during the funeral I was pretty drained and numb but calm. After she died our priest told me that God keeps our tears in a bottle and counts them in his book. Every tear.

Almost a year later, I have lots of funny things happen, especially at church -- that makes me believe Mom is smiling and watching over us.

What would we do without our tears?

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Yeah sure I cry. I cry mostly when it has to do with my faith or when I've heard something really terrible like on the news, like this morning I was watching the news and they talked about this habitat for humanity house that had been vandalized and burned by kkk memebers and I wept a few tears.

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