Am I Being Shallow?

[shelly_freak]

[quote name='CreepyCrawler' date='Sep 3 2004, 08:39 PM'] i think people freak out about people's looks when they are potential dates than when they are just friends. does that make sense? didn't think so. [/quote]
no i get ya, its true. when we were just talkin and goofin around it didnt phase me in the least but when he asked me out it was like wow man (that might also be because not many guys ask me out, actually now that i think about it ive never actually been asked out as in go get somethin to eat out, so it kinda shocked me)

[Oik]

There are some important questions you have to ask shelly

1) Is he Catholic?



































2) Is he Catholic?














































3) Really important...Do you think






























































He is Catholic?

[FutureSoror]

yeah that makes perfect sense. It's a lot easier to hang out with the opposite sex when you know that you are just freinds, and that's it.

[Oik]

The easiest thing is to just focus on school. I know that sounds traditional and boring, but it's the Truth. Don't date, Court and don't do that unless you are ready to get married. Otherwise, just hang out...what's the rush.

[Ash Wednesday]

[quote name='IcePrincessKRS' date='Sep 3 2004, 05:34 PM']But there are people out there who meet people online, fall in love, get married.... I don't know how they do it, but they do. I know a few of them. I still don't get it.[/quote]
Hey, I met my boyfriend on the internet!

My boyfriend and I were actually just friends before we met in person. We were both just long time buddies in a Catholic chat room for years. Back in the dark ages when the IRC was a big thing.

We met at World Youth Day and totally hit it off.

I always thought he was adorable, and probably had a secret crush on him but I never took it seriously and always poo-pooed dating over the net and long distance relationships in general.

What is ironic is that I have not met very many people in person that I've talked to on the internet. I can't even count them on one hand. It was never a big priority to me (though I would like to meet phatmassers...)

As for shelly's encounter with the guy, I don't know if it was that shallow. Probably not any more shallow than most people are. Most people do NOT watch a person walk by, whistle and say "That person has one beautiful personality!"...

Truth be told, when it comes to dating most of the time, people will see someone in the beginning and there will be *something* about them that turns your gears and is awfully cute to you. Even if they aren't "attractive" to others. Yes, eventually physical beauty is only skin deep and less "attractive" people can "grow" on you. But initial reaction because of appearance is more common than people are willing to admit.

Shelly, to me it sounded like you sensed he had ulterior motives, and it made you uncomfortable. That's fine. You have a personal space, and maybe you felt like it was being invaded. I can be weird about being touchy feely and hugging, too. Goodbyes always make me nervous because I am never sure what to do.

Personally, in my first year of college I was really weird about guys, period. Even ones that were fairly "attractive". I was like an Ice Queen and I just didn't feel comfortable with others wanting in on my personal space.

My two cents.

[shelly_freak]

yeah, ive been around too many non christians, its just not good for my faith in the end. oh we already had this discussion, he saw my peace and i heart jc pins and so he was like you christian? and i was like yeah so he was like you catholic? and i was like yeah and he was like are you religious? and i was like yeah and he was like oh (and it wasnt a good oh) so i dont think anything would turn out from that, considering thats my #1 on my guy standards list. i am planning on joining the christian fellowship club, maybe ill meet some nice guys there (but thats not the reason im planning on joining)

[Phazzan]

Darling Shelley, I think you're doing the right thing. See, you give this brother an inch, he'll take the whole lot. The fact he asked you out to lunch, walked you to your car, and gave you a big hug means he likes you. He think you're hot and he wants to go out with you, so he can show you off to all his friends and one get married, with a view of making babies with you. Disturbing... but true.

You wanna be careful Shelley, don't give him no hints. All that laughing, giggling and joking around, it's all fun and games to you, but to him, it's 'flirting'. Just play the game straight.

Good girl.

[lifeteenchick527]

[quote name='Raphael' date='Sep 3 2004, 10:09 AM'] I think you can love people over the internet...at least in the Christian way. I love you, Vera, and Jen, and Colleen, and TCW, and even Jacob. You're my phamily. I love you all in Christ.

I hate Phazzan though.








Just kidding! I love you too, Phazzan, buddy!













[/quote]
thanks micah rofl ....u better behave!! rofl rofl

[Scofizzle]

Nah...I think in most relatiosnhips. There is some element of physical attraction to go along with the emotional and spiritual attraction. If you don't want to date a guy then don't.

[Spiritual_Arsonist]

Maybe you were a little shallow. But maybe being shallow at times is good. Judging by appearances is not the best thing to do. I can understand not being all "touchy-feely", it can seem awkward. Just see what happens at lunch, and if you dont like the person, you dont have to hang out with him.

[Maddalena]

I don't think it's shallow. o.o The man needs a bath, a haircut, and needs to brush his teeth! o.o

[DancesforLove]

I think theres a difference in being shallow and being clean lol. Like me, I could care less what the guy looks like, but if doesn't bathe get haircuts and brush his teeth its not gonna happen because I'm a clean freak, so it's more of a compatability thing lol that prolly made no sense, bottom line, looks is determined on bone structure weight blahblah not cleanliness, yes it helps.
No your not shallow, think of it this way, is he a cool person?? would you consider it if he took a bath blah blah?

[Maddalena]

[quote name='DancesforLove' date='Sep 4 2004, 08:53 PM'] I think theres a difference in being shallow and being clean lol. Like me, I could care less what the guy looks like, but if doesn't bathe get haircuts and brush his teeth its not gonna happen because I'm a clean freak, so it's more of a compatability thing lol that prolly made no sense, bottom line, looks is determined on bone structure weight blahblah not cleanliness, yes it helps.
No your not shallow, think of it this way, is he a cool person?? would you consider it if he took a bath blah blah? [/quote]
Exactly! o_o I completely agree with you. He's not clean! You're not being shallow.

[Paladin D]

There is one good thing about developing relationships over the internet. You don't judge a person by their looks (unless you got webcam), but by their character.