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I'm In A Terrible Mood.


toledo_jesus

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What do you call a quadraplegic in your swimming pool?

Bob

In your mailbox?

Bill

On your doorstep?

Matt

Hanging on your wall?

Art

OK, these aren't even good...they're horrible. My physical therapist told me them one day when I was in a very bad mood. They cheered me up!

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can't think of any jokes now, but I can offer prayers....one of my apartment mates the past two years has been the RA of the building....they are always so busy....yesterday she spent all day checking people in....i'll be praying for you

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theculturewarrior

I heard this in the homily. The pastor at a large church crossed the tabernacle, genuflected, and then, inspired to repentance, he fell down to his knees and beat his chest and cried, "I'm nobody! I'm nobody!"

The associate pastor walked in and saw him, and he also fell down and cried, "I'm nobody! I'm nobody!"

Just then, the president of the parish council came in and fell down to his knees and said, "I'm nobody! I'm nobody!" And the pastor whispered to the associate pastor...

"Look who thinks [i]he's[/i] nobody. <_< "

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A small boy is sent to bed by his father.

Five minutes later....."Da-ad...."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"

"No, You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."

"WHAT!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"



An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"

The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

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Brother Adam

[quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='Aug 29 2004, 08:00 AM'] What a cat says when he sees you naked:
[url="http://www.evo.hr/cat/"]http://www.evo.hr/cat/[/url] [/quote]
ROFLOLPIMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rolling: :rolling: :rolling:

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[quote name='the_rev' date='Aug 29 2004, 02:29 PM'] A small boy is sent to bed by his father.

Five minutes later....."Da-ad...."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"

"No, You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."

"WHAT!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"



An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"

The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'" [/quote]
This was just beautiful. Never heard these, good stuff.

God bless,

Mikey

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littleflower+JMJ

why did the little boy think the cook was mean?





cuz he saw him beating eggs and whipping cream! hahaa



what did the daddy tomato tell the baby tomato as they were running?


he turned around, stomped his foot and yelled, "CATCHUP!!" (KETCHUP!) HAHA


why did the cookie go to the bank?


to get more dough!!!!

yes! im the queen of corny jokes!!! :queen:

*runs away before ppl start throwing stuff at her*

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littleflower+JMJ

one more corny one!!!!

what did the baby porcipine say when he backed up into a cactus?




is that you mom!?

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