Men Have It Tougher

[Mrs. Bro. Adam]

See....he really does respect you! And would never say that SAHMs don't have it harder! He knows how hard his mom works!

[MorphRC]

[quote name='Ash Wednesday' date='Aug 14 2004, 09:43 AM'] My apologies in advance if this comes across as unkind.

A lot of women are forced to do very strenuous physical labor AND raise a family all on their own because the father wanted nothing to do with BEING a father and flew the coop. Don't believe it? I worked with them.

I won't even argue the motherhood part, because I'm not a mother. I'll leave that to someone else.

Men don't exclusively have it "tougher." Immigrants have it tougher. Migrant workers have it tougher. Lower to middle class have it tougher.

[img]http://www.jokesgallery.com/Pic/tr8384764gent.jpg[/img]

This photo was not a joke. This is a reality in a lot of places, not ours.
I am doubtful that men have it tougher in muslim countries where women have no rights whatsoever, are treated as objects and blamed for everything. A husband can burn his wife alive for the mere suspicion of adultery and suffer no repercussion for it in places like that.


[b]Get off the pity pot.[/b] [/quote]
Hmm misleading photo

[socalscout]

Let me impart some wisdom seeing as I am a senior member here except for maybe Jajis.

I take care of my 4 year old and 8 month old 2 days out of the week and I work 4 days at my job with 1 day off for family. The days I take care of the kids I don't get to sit. I don't get a lunch and I am constantly putting out fires. It is a different kind of stress. Also the days she works means I get up earlier to take care of the kids than I do to go to work.

Work is easy. I know the job and it gets done. I used to be a mover and it is still easier. Kids are a different story and you NEVER get to stop ever because they won't. If they were not my kids, whom I love more than anything, those 2 days would smell of elderberries(can I say that?).

I talk to my wife on the phone while I'm at work and I hear screaming and crying in the background and I am soooooooooo glad I am at work and not dealing with that noise.

I have to add this though. If I am working then laundry, errands and food better be done and not waiting for me to do them when I get home. I give the same consideration to her the days that she works. Its only right.

Edited August 14, 2004 by socalscout

[Mrs. Bro. Adam]

Socalscout:


I don't think anyone on here would disagree with you. Again, the whole point was that there are women, who do not have kids, who have part-time service jobs that, at times, try to claim that their malecounterparts have it easier than they do. These male counterparts, however, work physically demanding jobs lasting no less than 12+ hours per day.

[homeschoolmom]

[quote name='Mrs. Bro. Adam' date='Aug 14 2004, 11:13 AM'] Socalscout:


I don't think anyone on here would disagree with you. Again, the whole point was that there are women, who do not have kids, who have part-time service jobs that, at times, try to claim that their malecounterparts have it easier than they do. These male counterparts, however, work physically demanding jobs lasting no less than 12+ hours per day. [/quote]
I don't see why this is a male vs. famale thing. I am sure that we can all agree that ANYONE who works a part-time desk job (and has no familial responsibilites) has a less physically demanding job than ANYONE who works a 12 hour a day heavy labor job.

End of story, no?

[Brother Adam]

You would think. . .

[Sanvean]

Certainly, Homeschoolmom. That's only common sense.

I suspect that the main reason this thread has caused so much contention is the implication that this is a male vs. female thing, and not a matter of the physical difficulty of various sorts of work(and, as I'm sure anyone who has worked in a highly physical job can assert, physical work can be incredibly draining, not only physically, but also emotionally and spiritually).

Personally, quotes like "After being married for a year, I have come to a realization. Men, as a general rule, have it tougher than our female counter-parts " can obscure the point of a post, and cause me to get my hackles up, especially after coming home from a long, painful week on the job(in a workplace that makes it crystal clear how very unwelcome woman are).

At any rate, any misunderstandings seem to have been cleared up(I hope, at least). Really, situations like this can be unavoidable in this kind of medium, where the delicacies of conversation don't tend to be translated very well.

[jasJis]

[quote name='socalscout' date='Aug 14 2004, 10:40 AM'] Let me impart some wisdom seeing as I am a senior member here except for maybe Jajis. [/quote]
Dude, that's cold.








But back to the other side of the argument. Working 16 hours a day, providing clean laundry, wiping snotty noses, picking up toys, planning a meal, etc., to me, is still better than working 10 hours a day for a paycheck. At least it's contributing directly to the family.

My daughters were raised with a stay-at-home mom. Their mom worked part time only when dire necessity made it so. It's still like that. We have 1 checking account, and 1 saving account. My wife has more say about finances than I do. It's the way we want it. We tell our kids that both of us work very hard for the family. One of us get's a paycheck for the family to buy food and clothes, the other's job is to cook and wash. We both contribute equally to the family, but in different ways. If their mom is sick, or working when I'm unemployed, it's my job to do the other stuff. I've done it all, and so has my wife. I am jealous sometimes of my wife's job, because it's more emotionally rewarding. She has a closer relationship with my daughters than I because she's was always available to be there. I work hard and we're frugal with money to make that possible. Different roles, equal effort, different rewards, but both of us do it for the family.

[cappie]

If I may be allowed to speak from a spiritual point of view.........
Speaking as a priest, this morning (Aust.Time) I said in part in the homily

"It is also interesting to note that God did not raise up a man and make him into a God.
Jesus was God and became a man. He lowered Himself, you might say. So, no human has ever been as exalted as Mary has been. She was born without sin, conceived a child in miraculous fashion, cared for the Son of God while He was on earth and was assumed into Heaven.
So, one might say that, of the two, we men are really the lesser sex. We have not been honored by the Father as Mary has. Now, this may lead to a few discussions when you husbands and wives arrive your at home but, being very honest, one might say that God has favored the woman more than the man."

[Carrie]

Oh boy. I've got loads to say, but won't. But I will say just one little thing....


If you want to know the toughest kind of physical labor...try being pregnant for nine months.

[jasJis]

[quote name='Carrie' date='Aug 15 2004, 09:13 AM'] If you want to know the toughest kind of physical labor...try being pregnant for nine months. [/quote]
It may be tough physically, but it's more rewarding emotionally.

[MrsFrozen]

[quote name='Brother Adam' date='Aug 13 2004, 07:53 PM'] After being married for a year, I have come to a realization. Men, as a general rule, have it tougher than our female counter-parts.

When I say this though, I say it with reserve, because this counts only for certian areas of our life. I work my [color=red]{edit= use your imagination}[/color]off for a living. That is my life. Work. Hard, exshausting, manual work. My life doesn't consist of visiting friends or family. I get up extremely early and don't get home until 14-18 hours later. We have little social contact outside our tough male co-workers. It's stressful, and it is [b]hard[/b]. And then on the weekends- more work to catch up on home matters, church on sunday, and then back to work on Monday morning.

That is not to say that in some aspects of life woman do not have it tougher. Often times many men only have 8 hour day jobs, and the woman works with children dawn until dusk. However, the physical labor is not as [b]hard[/b], and it [u]shouldn't [/u]be. (note - does not count for labor)

But the idea that woman [b]work[b] just as hard or as hard as men, just doesn't count when the woman does not have a full time, employed, job. For instance, if a man spends all day at work, and a woman spends all day doing laundry, she gets to sit down and watch TV, go shopping, sit on phatmass, or whatever while the washer is going.

my rant for the day.


Adam

Feel free to throw tomatos. [/quote]
Hi, Brother. I can kind of see what you mean here. I'm a stay-at-home mom with my 9-month old son. The work is tough. The work never, ever ends, the house is never as I want it to be, David always needs something, and he can't do anything himself. There is cooking, cleaning, taking care of the baby, laundry, shopping, organizing, keeping track of appointments, making calls, everything--it is very tough. Sometimes, I barely eat because I have so much to do. Even as I look around now, I think I should be cleaning the computer room.

My husband is an aircraft mechanic. Now, I used to think that he had it pretty easy. He has time sometimes to read and socialize, and he has a lot of friends at work. I knew the work was hard, but the idea that he actually gets out of the house and sees people seemed great to me. And when he gets home, he helps me with the baby by feeding him and playing with him while I make dinner and clean the kitchen.

The other day, my husband took my to the hangar where he works and showed me the planes and explained what he did. Plus, I got to see the next shift doing their job. Then I realized that he definitely doesn't have it easier. Yes, he gets to see his friends, and yes, sometimes the work is slow. But today is Sunday and he's at work because of Hurricane Charley (which ended up doing nothing to us and he had to do a bunch of extra work for nothing). Plus, his job is hard, mentally and physically. The fact that he comes home in a good mood AND helps with the baby shows what a wonderful man he really is.

But please don't underestimate the work of the mother! Boy oh boy! It is absolutely DRAINING. And by the way, when do you think is one of the times that the stay-at-home mom does the dishes or scrubs the floor or cleans the bathroom or makes the bed? When the washer is going!!

[MrsFrozen]

[quote name='Brother Adam' date='Aug 13 2004, 08:34 PM'] You did not have to choose to have kids. [/quote]
If you're a Catholic married couple, you do!

[Brother Adam]

As I said before, you did not have to get married - thus you choose to put yourself in that situation That is all I was saying. But I agree a mothers job is hard. Very hard. I was never, ever, ranting against mothers. I know better than that

[MrsFrozen]

[quote name='Brother Adam' date='Aug 15 2004, 12:17 PM'] As I said before, you did not have to get married - thus you choose to put yourself in that situation That is all I was saying. But I agree a mothers job is hard. Very hard. I was never, ever, ranting against mothers. I know better than that [/quote]
You nerd! I did have to get married, because I fell in love!

I read more of your replies and I see that your post wasn't geared toward SAHMs. But it was probably geared toward me before I had David.. And I thought I had it tough then! Boy, was I naive!

God bless.