To Flowery...

[theculturewarrior]

[quote]My cousins have a low opinion of Americans... hehe

[/quote]

If you don't tell them I won't.







Oh it doesn't matter now that I'm . They have to like americans.













(Besides, I'm not really an american. I'm actually from Oklahoma. :ph34r: )

[jmjtina]

You asked for her hand in marriage eh? It can be yours today!!!!! With one simple application!!!!!!

submit for approval when your done. Then you gotta meet the rest of the family.......hope you like mexican food.



[quote]APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

1. NAME ______________ DATE OF BIRTH ________

2. HEIGHT ____________ WEIGHT ________ I.Q _____ G.P.A.____

3. SOCIAL SECURITY # _________ DRIVERS LICENSE # ___________

4. BOY SCOUT RANK_______________________

5. HOME ADDRESS _____________ CITY/STATE _______ ZIP _____

6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?______If No., EXPLAIN ___________________________________________________

7. Number of years your parents have been married _______________

8. Do you own a van? ____ A truck with oversized tires? ____ A waterbed? _____ Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? A tatoo?____________ (If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises )

9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?____________________ _______________________________________________________________________

10. In 50 words or lest, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you? ______________

11. In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE" mean to you? __________________________________

12. Church you attend _________ How often do you attend ___________

13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and priest/rabbi/minister? ________

14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are confidential (That means I won't tell anyone-ever-I promise.)

a) If I were shot the last place on my body I would want wounded is _______

If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my ___________

c) A woman's place is in the _______________________

d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is __________

e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is her ____________

( NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave premises keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)

15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? ____________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

_______________________ Signature ( That means your name, moron)

Thank you for your interest Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be notified in writing you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't and it would cause you injury.) if your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases. (You might want to watch your back) [/quote]

[theculturewarrior]

I'll have the application in ASAP.


(I know what some of you are thinking but I'm marrying into a phamily that can take care of business. :wub: )

(Besides, I'm . They wouldn't hurt a guy in sunglasses would they?)

[jmjtina]

[quote name='theculturewarrior' date='Aug 7 2004, 09:05 PM'] I'll have the application in ASAP.


(I know what some of you are thinking but I'm marrying into a phamily that can take care of business. :wub: )

(Besides, I'm . They wouldn't hurt a guy in sunglasses would they?) [/quote]

[theculturewarrior]

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

1. NAME __Justin C Warrior DATE OF BIRTH 7-20-76

2. HEIGHT: 6'3" WEIGHT: 230lbs I.Q: 127 G.P.A: 3.68

3. SOCIAL SECURITY: # 555-55-5555 DRIVERS LICENSE: # TX55555555

4. BOY SCOUT RANK: cub scout

5. HOME ADDRESS: Drive south until you hit palm trees CITY/STATE The Valley, TX ZIP 55555

6. Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent?Yes If No., EXPLAIN ___________________________________________________

7. Number of years your parents have been married Over 30 years

8. Do you own a van? no. A truck with oversized tires? no. A waterbed? no. Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring? A tatoo?no. (If "yes" to any of #8, discontinue application and leave premises )

9. In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you? If she's not back at least 15 minutes early I feel guilty.

10. In 50 words or lest, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you? I don't know...no one has ever had to tell me that.

11. In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE" mean to you? No kissing, no petting, no prolonged embraces, nothing but maybe sitting near one another holding hands, but sir, with your permission of course!

12. Church you attend St. Simeon the Holy Fool Roman Catholic Parish. How often do you attend: Every Sunday and sometimes during the week.

13. When would be the best time to interview your father, mother and priest/rabbi/minister? Anytime is fine.

14. Answer by filling in the blank: please answer freely. ALL answers are confidential (That means I won't tell anyone-ever-I promise.)

a) If I were shot the last place on my body I would want wounded is: I've always had this crazy fear of being shot painlessly and quickly, execution style.

If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my: pinky toe. OUCH!

c) A woman's place is in the: throne room.

d) The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: You just asked it.

e) When I first meet a girl, the first thing I notice about her is: her sense of humor

( NOTE: If your answer begins with "T" or "A", discontinue. Leave premises keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised.)

15. What do you want to be IF you grow up? A loving and faithful husband and father.

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

[font="Optima"]Justin C. Warrior XOXOXO[/font] Signature ( That means your name, moron)

Thank you for your interest Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be notified in writing you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't and it would cause you injury.) if your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases. (You might want to watch your back)

[jmjtina]

[quote name='theculturewarrior' date='Aug 7 2004, 09:18 PM']Thank you for your interest Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be notified in writing you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't and it would cause you injury.) if your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties and carrying violin cases. (You might want to watch your back)[/quote]
Good answers!!!!!!

We'll get back to ya.

[jmjtina]

[quote]c) A woman's place is in the: throne room.[/quote]

pretty slick bro.

this one is a charmer! :married:

[littleflower+JMJ]

LOL i didn't ditch you TCW! i had to go pray and think about your proposal and how silly i was to take soo long........but after reading your application i have to say.............







HOW CAN I [b]NOT[/b] MARRY YOU!?!


You won me over with this answer

[quote]
c) A woman's place is in the: throne room.[/quote]


so yes........i will marry you

oh geez, i love that ring too!! :wub: thank you!!

[theculturewarrior]

finally!

[littleflower+JMJ]

LOL wait im suppose to be crying tears of happiness cuz i have finally found my

alright.......watch out folks.....flash flood warning!!


<--- tears of happiness

this IS the day a girl dreams of forever right?


wow and all done thru the phorum!

thank you phatmass!

[littleflower+JMJ]

[quote name='theculturewarrior' date='Aug 7 2004, 09:18 PM']
7. Number of years your parents have been married Over 30 years
[/quote]
that is SO awesome TCW!!

[qfnol31]

[quote name='jmjtina' date='Aug 7 2004, 08:59 PM'] You asked for her hand in marriage eh? It can be yours today!!!!! With one simple application!!!!!!

submit for approval when your done. Then you gotta meet the rest of the family.......hope you like mexican food. [/quote]
There's Tina lookin' out for her sister.

[jmjtina]

[quote name='qfnol31' date='Aug 7 2004, 10:00 PM'] There's Tina lookin' out for her sister. [/quote]
thank you.......

would you like to apply? It's not like flowery has any say so in this.

[littleflower+JMJ]

[quote name='jmjtina' date='Aug 7 2004, 10:01 PM'] thank you.......

would you like to apply?  It's not like flowery has any say so in this.  [/quote]
LOL i already told TCW yes!!

your only allowed one spouse tina! shes having so much fun with this can you tell?

and he has colleen!

[qfnol31]

Not that I want to give her up, but we are only engaged for clarity's sake.