The New Commandments!

[carrdero]

Okay here's the scenerio. You just came down from the Mountain. you are holding 2 tablets in your hand with 10 New Commandments. What would those tablets say? Let's have some fun with this everyone. If you know of 10 then write no more than 10. If you can only recite a few, that is okay too.

[MichaelFilo]

1. You shall not have other gods besides me.

2. You shall not take the name of the LORD, your God, in vain.

3. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them.

4. Remember to keep holy the sabbath day.

5. Honor your father and your mother.

6. You shall not kill.

7. You shall not commit adultry.

8. You shall not steal.

9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor's.

[Brother Adam]

Though shalt not leave the toilet seat up, least you wish to face the full wrath of the fall.

[MorphRC]

Thou shalt block out nagging women.

[carrdero]

Somebody from Phatmass e-mailed me and asked where I had gotten this idea. I explained that I had a friend who said that his church had asked a group of small kids during their religious classes to name the Ten Commandments. Well not to many kids had remembered the whole list and it was endearing (if not a little humourous-in an innocent kid way) to see them filling in the blanks where they didn't exactly know what the actual Commandments were. The teacher had then went on to explain all the commandments and their importance but also decided to bring the matter up with adults. They discussed that since we lived in a new era it would be interesting to share some insight to fellow church members about things that didn't currently sit to well with the congregation. They were to be open and honest about their "new commandments" and the results would be posted in their church's newsletter. My firend went to explain that not only was it a fun experience but they got to learn and understand more about their fellow church goers and it was interesting to know how they could help each other out spiritually in areas that needed to be fortified.

Well for what it is worth here is my 20 cents.

1.Thou shalt not let Adam Sandler make anymore movies

2.Lawyers who lose cases will now go to jail with their clients

3.No one can say the phrases “My bad” “It’s all good” or “what happen?” anymore.

4.No food shall be sold that doesn’t look exactly like it does on the commercial or packaging.

5.No more reality TV Shows-effective immediately

6.The wicked man shall be delivered unto the hands of his enemies whether they can pay the delivery charge or not.

7. Businesses who actually believe they have a worthy product will offer a free full lifetime warranty on every thing they sell.

8. Due to numerous complaints all platypuses have been recalled.

9. News reporters will now report the same amount of good news as bad news.

10. Algebra, History, Biology will no longer be taught in classrooms and will be replaced with more practical studies like Politeness, Consideration and how to properly perform important functions in human society.

[Lil Red]

[quote name='carrdero' date='Aug 6 2004, 11:47 AM'] 10. Algebra, History, Biology will no longer be taught in classrooms and will be replaced with more practical studies like Politeness, Consideration and how to properly perform important functions in human society. [/quote]
funny how that used to be taught right alongside of the other subjects.

[Quietfire]

Actually Pat, I am quite happy with the ones we have.
I know this is supposed to be for fun. (probably better for Open Mic) But there are some things we aint supposed to mess with.
Jesus said it all.
Love God.
Love your neighbor as yourself.
The Ten Commandments in a nutshell.

Peace.

[White Knight]

[quote name='carrdero' date='Aug 5 2004, 08:12 PM'] Okay here's the scenerio. You just came down from the Mountain. you are holding 2 tablets in your hand with 10 New Commandments. What would those tablets say? Let's have some fun with this everyone. If you know of 10 then write no more than 10. If you can only recite a few, that is okay too. [/quote]
lol I'll stick with the ones we have already lol, but thats a funny idea.


You can find the Ten Commandments listed in the "Old Testmant" Twice.

[b]Book of Exodus 20:1-17.
Book od Deuteronomy 5: 5-21[/b]


lol

[Tora-Musume]

Though shall not discredit our neighboors.


Gotta Love Me!

[MorphRC]

Thou shalt not like banks.

[RandomProddy]

[quote name='carrdero' date='Aug 6 2004, 07:47 PM'] 7. Businesses who actually believe they have a worthy product will offer a free full lifetime warranty on every thing they sell. [/quote]
Bakers? Butchers?

[Mary's Knight, La]

i was gonna post but the computer ate it so i guess i'm not supposed to

[MorphRC]

or you could just try post it again.

[Aloysius]

umm.. yeah someone move this to Open Mic

[Thy Geekdom Come]

I. Thou shall not diss the Eucharist.

II. Thou shall not diss the Bible.

III. Thou shall not diss thy Mother Mary.

IV. Thou shall not diss the Pope, nor the whole of the Magisterium, nor the Catechism of the Catholic Church, in any form.

V. Thou shall not consume products or give patronage to businesses which work contrary to the Gospel of Life.

VI. Thou shalt not neglect thy prayers.

VII. Thou shall love thine enemies as thy friends.

VIII. Thou shall not spurn the poor, the homeless, the destitute, the foreign, the sinner, the naked, the hungry, the huddled masses yearning to be free or any of these, the young and innocent lambs in the flocks of the Lord thy God.

IX. Thou shall not support politicians who work contrary to the religion of God.

X. Thou shall not fear though the earth should [b]rock![/b]