franciscanheart Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 Many, many, MANY times in my short life I have gotten a talk about true friends; what they're like and how to find them. I have found it to be a very difficult thing. There is no one out there who really understands me and where I come from on things. I have yet to find that person who agrees with my beliefs, all of them. Recently I sat down at my computer and logged onto AIM. A friend of mine from SEAS IMed me and I attempted to add them to my buddy list. It failed. I had 200 buddies already. So I went through the list trying to figure out who I was going to delete. Instead of deleting one, I deleted everyone I did not consider a true friend. I deleted every single person I felt was not helping me be a better catholic. I had already deleted about 16 names to add new ones. About 233 names starting with.... Guess how many I have now.... Anyway, I won't burden you with my struggle to find a true friendship. What I want to know is what you think qualifies a person to be your friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
track2004 Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 I think that a lot of what qualifies my friends as friends is that they stay with me and I stay with them through whatever comes. They also help me to see Christ in my daily life, and I realize that is much less tangible but it's what they do, I'll explain further if need be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 i don't think that every friend has to be a "Christian" friend. for example, i have friends who are good people (not Christians) who are fun to hang with. i don't discuss religion with them. then i have religious friends, who are fun to hang with, and i do discuss religion; but i usually don't meet with them outside of a church basis. then i have those rare friends who are both. i do think that you should drop any so called "friend" who leads or pressures you to do something wrong, or something that you don't think is right. they're sharks. they just want to go down and they want to take as many people as they can with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelly_freak Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 you need someone who is searching for the same thing as you, God. you need someone that has much in common with you and you can joke with, someone you can rely on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted August 3, 2004 Author Share Posted August 3, 2004 Are your friends of the dsame faith? becaues that is a big one for me. All of my real friends are Catholic. I wouldn't have it any other way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted August 3, 2004 Share Posted August 3, 2004 not all of my friends are Catholic. i think it's easier to have a lot of "true" friends when you are younger. i'm 25, and i have very few "true" friends. My best friend is Catholic (we don't always agree, but), her hubby is also a good friend but he is athiest. my hubby is my best friend, but he's not religious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted August 3, 2004 Author Share Posted August 3, 2004 [quote name='Lil Red' date='Aug 3 2004, 02:06 PM'] i don't think that every friend has to be a "Christian" friend. for example, i have friends who are good people (not Christians) who are fun to hang with. i don't discuss religion with them. then i have religious friends, who are fun to hang with, and i do discuss religion; but i usually don't meet with them outside of a church basis. then i have those rare friends who are both. i do think that you should drop any so called "friend" who leads or pressures you to do something wrong, or something that you don't think is right. they're sharks. they just want to go down and they want to take as many people as they can with them. [/quote] here's the thing.... i used to call everyone i associate myself with "friends" but thats not really what they are to me anymore. i now seperate the classes of people i associate with. i have my FRIENDS and i have my AQUAINTANCES. my "non Christian friends" are aquaintances. i talk to them at school and i might go to dinner with them after a rehearsal but other than that, i keep my personal distance. i like them, they are sometimes enjoyable, but often times i find that we disagree on things most important to me, and that seperates us. and i dont necessarily have friends that pressure me to do bad things, i dont talk to those people, but i also keep my safe distance from those who hold different beliefs on things close to my heart. i still treat them like humans and enjoy their humor when i have the chance but i dont go out of my way to hang out with them. i instead spend my time praying, or chatting on phatmass! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted August 5, 2004 Author Share Posted August 5, 2004 bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daugher-of-Mary Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 I think it depends on how you look at it. In some sense, everyone can help you grow in your relationship with Christ depending on how you treat them. If your aim is to serve the people around you, then you will grow in holiness regardless of whether or not a particular friend fills all the requirements for a close friendship. That being said, close friendships (particularly with those who are in love with Christ and the Church) are important but rare. I have two friends who are really a brother and sister in Christ. Their friendship has been truly been a tremendous blessing, and I can't thank God enough for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted August 5, 2004 Author Share Posted August 5, 2004 Totally. I just think that some friends help me get to Heaven just like I do for them while others simply help me grow in my faith with their struggles and my dealings with them. If that made sense at all.... thanks for the comment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted August 5, 2004 Share Posted August 5, 2004 I think it depends on how you define friend. Some of my friendships started in gradeschool. Some are Catholic, some are evangelical and several are agnostic or atheist. We don't agree on everything and we don't have to, that is not a requirement when you love somebody. My friends are people who know all about me, but love me anyway. I know if there is an emergency I can call them at 3 am to say help, and they will come running. And I would do the same for them in a heartbeat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted August 5, 2004 Author Share Posted August 5, 2004 interesting.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted August 6, 2004 Author Share Posted August 6, 2004 surely the pham has an opion.... yall are never this quiet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phazzan Posted August 6, 2004 Share Posted August 6, 2004 Basically I have mates, and I have aquaintances. I wouldn't consider my mates "true" friends, for they are just people I hang out with and do fun things with. I wouldn't open up to any of them, neither do we ever talk religion. The only person I'd take a bullet for other than close family, would be my cousin, who is close family, but also my best mate. We grew up together, so we are very close. Other than that, I have no "true" friends, nor do I seek any. If you want a true friend, you have to have something that binds you. For example, me and my cousin are binded by blood, and the fact we grew up together. All I'm saying is, true friends don't come along everyday. A true friend must be someone you can trust, and personally I don't trust anybody except for those I KNOW I can trust, i.e. close family. IMO, it's probably better to maintain and healthy and active social life with mates or aquaintances, whichever you prefer, rather than go out searching for true friends. Someone who I'd consider to be a true friend would be a wife (i.e. VeraMaria) or husband, someone who you can trust and be open with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorphRC Posted August 6, 2004 Share Posted August 6, 2004 Ive had tonnes of people on my msn, but i usually fall out of touch, or they get on my nerves. I had 70 at one time, but if you have more than 25, its just to much to handle. And with so many you cant make or keep a real connection with most. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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