Jump to content
An Old School Catholic Message Board

What A Bummer...


BlueRose

Recommended Posts

:( I'm dating a very nice guy. He is, as far as I can tell, sweet & thoughtful, and he even came to mass with me last week. I do like him but he has one flaw:

He's nice.

Isn't that sad? No no, not the fact that he's nice. That part is great. What's sad is that I almost see it as a flaw; I am so used to being mistreaded and stuff that I am suspicious of practically every single nice thing this guy says or does. Isn't that sad? It makes me really sad, because here I am and I've "found" this guy who really could be a very nice guy, and yet I am afraid to believe that he is real.

No, I haven't locked my heart away. Did that before, and it isn't a good idea. Not healthy. You know. At the same time, however, I'm slipping back into my doubting ways. I doubt people a lot. I've been lied to a lot, had some real rough relationships (both with friends and guys), and I've been jaded... you know the drill.

And so like I said, by chance I meet this guy who treats me with respect, who actually takes a moment to throw out a compliment, and who I DO like... and yet I am still afraid of him............... :unsure:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

littleflower+JMJ

don't let your past experiences hold you back to knowing and realizing good when you see it....

yes, your right, no one is perfect, but think of all that bad experiences as stuff to make you wiser and smarter and stronger with your heart and friendship...

but never allow it to control and miss an opportunity to grow and find a goldmine.

pray and trust, not in anyone else (thats failed you before no?), but in God, He won't fail you!!

God BLess!

and may st. raphael guide you!

+JMJ

Link to comment
Share on other sites

IcePrincessKRS

Relax, I know its tough. One of my best friends went through the same thing, only she DID lock her heart away and it took her a looong time to trust guys again. You'll work it out, and everything will be fine in the end. Try and appreciate what a great person this guy is! :) Don't be "afraid" of him.

(... come to think of it, I know alot of people who have been through this... some guys are just jerks. Note to all you guys reading this, I said "some" not all guys are like that, and I know some girls are like that too.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well BR you know how I feel about this guy. But PLEASE PLEASE don't let my opinion influence you. I feel absolutly horrible about telling how much I can't stand him, and how much I don't trust him, b/c I feel like I've influenced you to NOT like him.trust him either. That was never my intention. You deserve the best, and only the best. We all do, and I guess you just have to be very very careful about who you trust. I am one of those girls now, who doesn't trust a single guy, except for Chris M. (he swore we were going to get married, then he went into the seminary, now he's trying to convice me to be a nun!!!!) anyways, him, and God are the only guys I trust. And you, BR, are the only girl I trust except for Our Lady of Lourdes, Mary. (oh yea & I trust Melissa Z. too but I haven't seen her in over a year!)....but if you want me to be happy for you with Alex, then I will. I just can't stand to see you get hurt again. When you hurt, I hurt....& it's not cool. I don't feel like going to hell for murdering another jerk of a guy! hehe!! Anyways, whatever you decide to do, let me know what you want me to do, (be happy or still continue ti be very suspicious!!) and I'll do it! Just know that no matter what, I am here for you & I am always going to be your Little Big sister! I love you girlie, & God Bless....I'm praying for you always!!!

†††

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, Paladin - IRL she's one of my best friends. We're practically twins.

Thanks to all for your thoughtfullness & responses. I wasn't sure what to expect by posting this, I just posted to get it out somewhere. I'm still really confused about this and about everything at the moment.

GG, thanks for your thoughts. It's not your fault. I'm the one who's too scarred to believe in people anymore. Dunno what it is I'm trying to say here. Just don't blame yourself, k?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

fine fine I won't blame myself, I'll blame males~!!! b/c I haven't met one males in the past year that hasn't lied to me, cheated me, or betrayed me. So I'm going to leave saying this, I'm not against all males, I'm just anti-male at the moment. I don't hate Paladin, or ToV, or any other guy I've met on here, but I don't know you & I don't trust you. Sorry. but that's just how hurt I've been, and how hurt BR has been.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
GodsThespianChic

I am one of those girls now, who doesn't trust a single guy, except for Chris M. (he swore we were going to get married, then he went into the seminary, now he's trying to convice me to be a nun!!!!) anyways, him, and God are the only guys I trust. And you, BR, are the only girl I trust except for Our Lady of Lourdes, Mary. (oh yea & I trust Melissa Z. too but I haven't seen her in over a year!)....

Hey...you don't trust me?...why not?... :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow, dating is dumb. It's so confusing, you know? I mean, a lot of times, you don't just date one person at a time, you go out with this one, and that one, get to know him or her over here... until you find one you really like and sort-of focus on him/her more than the others. And then you find out that, wow! they really like you too, but at the same time, they're still dating other guys/girls, and it's like, "Uhoh, I wonder if I'll be THEIR first choice?"

Not only that, but then you've got the "Calling Game". When dating, and even into the early stages of Couple-hood, calling seems to be such a very big issue. It's who calls who when, and do you use the Take-Turns method, or the Traditional Guy-Always-Calls method, or the Call Whenever method.... Oy!

And of course, there's often that little nagging voice constantly reminding you that this person you are very interested in, could very well be a fake, a phony, a fraud, and in due time could totally break your heart.

Yes, dating is one heck of a confusing and complicated mess. It's a wonder I even get involved. But you can't tell your heart how to think, and I suppose for my own purposes I will try to stay lighthearted, carefree, understand that it isn't mandatory... and meanwhile smack myself in the forehear because, "Gosh-darnit, it's all so complicated, and why do I have to like this guy so much?" ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

GodsThespianChic

I'm here for you BR...I told you before, all you have to do is call me if you need to vent!! Has Rebecca's advice on the calling situation helped any?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Eeek. :wacko: It's all so painful sometimes. That's why I have thrown in the towel long-term... it is too much of a hassle to be of any enjoyment for now. School is a priority, and also finding out what God wants for me.

I never, ever thought I'd say this, but sometimes being a nun doesn't look so bad. (I admit this statement could be premature being that I haven't been through RCIA yet...)

Dating is a distraction. -_-

peace,

~TF~

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes BR dating smells of elderberries....but we are young. So give it time. And remember everything happens for a reason, and you'll always find what you're looking for if you look through Christ. I love you sis & GTC I love you too even though you & J are cool! lol hehe

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jake Huether

If you ask me...

Nice only lasts so long. Give him time.

My wife and I dated for 6 years! (Not that we really wanted to wait that long - school smells of elderberries...) Anywho... If you're not sure, don't sweat it. Give him time. If he's real, he will ALWAYS treat you nice. If he's a phony, it wont take long.

God bless you!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

geetarplayer

My girlfriend's so funny. She hates it when I'm polite to her. She doesn't like me to hold the door for her or let her go first. I guess she thinks I'm trying to make her less independent.

-Mark

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...