rckllnknny Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 7/11 my sobriety date.. dear mom... HOW MUST A SON TELL HIS MOM THIS? TO TELL SOMEONE WHO MAY NEVER UNDERSTAND. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL YOU THAT YOU WERENT APART OF MY LIFE-MOSTLY MY WHOLE LIFE BECAUSE I WAS BORN WITH A DISEASE. WHY MUST GOD ALLOW SOMEONE-WHO I FEEL IS IN HIS HEART, INNOCENT- AND BEGIN TO EXPLAIN TO HIS OWN MOTHER- THAT I WAS CREATED WITH THIS ILLNESS- I MUST FIGHT EVERYDAY! AND BECAUSE OF THIS-ID RATHER CHOOSE TO SHOOT UP DOPE- THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS WHOLE WIDE WORLD. -NO ONE SEES HOW HARD I TRY AND NO ONE SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND. HOW IS IT, BY NATURE, I AM SLOWLY FORCED TO WATCH MYSELF DIE AND LOSE EVERYTHING I LOVE IN LIFE? MOMMY-FORGIVE ME. MY OWN SELF IS WEAK AND MOST OF THIS WORLD DOESNT UNDERSTAND "WHO" I AM, OR "WHO" I TRY NOT TO BE. WEVE ALL BEEN CHEATED OUT OF YEARS, THAT CAN NEVER BE TAKEN BACK, ARGUMENTS NO ONE EVER UNDERSTOOD, LEAD BY EMOTIONS NO ONE COULD EVER CONTROL. I AM A GOOD BOY, MOM. AND IM NOT THE ONLY PERSON TO LIVE WITH THIS PAIN. NOT EVER COULD I PUT INTO WORDS-BECAUSE I DIDNT ALWAYS KNOW-WHY I DID THE THINGS I DO. DONT HATE ME-DONT BLAME ME. I HAVE NO CONTROL. THE FIRST STEP IN THE TWELVE STEPS- ADMITTED WE WERE POWERLESS OVER DRUGS AND ALCOHOL. I HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF OF THIS- SO I CAN KNOW THAT IM NOT ALONE IN THIS WORLD. I AM A PART OF A CIRLCE OF BROKEN SOULS, MOSTLY DISCRIMINATED AGAINST-MOSTLY MISUNDERSTOOD. ONLY THROUGH GOD HAVE I COME NOT TO HATE MYSELF FOR ACTING OUT IN WAYS- ID RATHER NOT CHOOSE. IVE LOST EVERYTHING OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I DONT WANT TO LOSE YOU TOO. I LOVE YOU NOW MORE THAN I EVER HAVE. THANK YO SO MUCH FOR CARING THE WAY THAT YOU DO. AND TAKING THE TIME TO TYR AND UNDERSTAND SOMETHING THAT MAY BE THE HARDEST TO. WE SPENT 25 YEARS OF SUFFERING. SOMETHING MOST PEOPLE NEVER HAVE TO GO THROUGH. LETS SPEND THE NEXT 25 IN GODS LOVE AND 'UNDERSTANDING.' GOD HASNT FORGOT US MOM. I LOVE YOU TOO, UNCONDITIONALLY AND WITH FORGIVENESS. YOUR VERY OWN ADORABLE, RICKY WRITTEN 5 DAYS AGO RIGHT AFTER THE LAST TIME I SHOT UP ICE. THANX TO GOD IM SOBER TODAY. phatmass, id appreciate a prayer or two for those who are not sober today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmjtina Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 rick, much much prayers to you from littleflower+jmj and I. much prayers to all who suffer as you do. Our Lady of Guadalupe, Pray for US! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rckllnknny Posted July 16, 2004 Author Share Posted July 16, 2004 i dont always want to just come here and wite about my mistakes in life. its just thats the point in which God come in to change me. its how ive come to find Him and its come to be somekinds of wisdom thats apart of me. my whole life has become about being sober. and i want people to know that many poeple make mistakes even if dont choose so. and at the same time it IS about choices. choosing Jesus as your saviour. RICK is the story of how God saves RICK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuya Lee Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 bump Much love and prayers.. many prayers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RemnantRules Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 I will offer my next rosary and Divine Mercy Chaplet for you! Have Strength in his! God Bless Jason Gregory Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 praying for you.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ironmonk Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 Many prayers bro. I've had other friends that went through what your going through... with Christ, you will succeed. God Bless, ironmonk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 prayers for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 praying Rick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 hugs and prayers from cmom, always. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 I'm prayin' for ya, bro. Keep in touch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleflower+JMJ Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 you got adoration from me rick! we :wub: YOU! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeenaBobba Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 Alcohol and drug abuse runs in my family, so I know how tough it can be on those who struggle with it. You, and anyone else who suffers from this, have my prayers. God bless, Jen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RemnantRules Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 *bump* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sinner Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Praying........ you are not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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