Kilroy the Ninja Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 Paladin, I'm sorry people can't see the smilie face. (Seven broken bones - what a great arbitrary number!) I was spanked. Time out was for wussies. But I was also the oldest and I didn't get spanked very often. (Had to be the great shining example don't you know). I believe in spanking when necessary, but only on the behind. But I also believe that spanking doesn't always work, and can be over used. It boils down to the situation and the child. What works for one will not necessarily work for others, and I believe as a parent you really need to be in tune with you child to make sure they understand why they're being punished. And to make sure it works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Azriel Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 I am the only one who never acted up because my Mom's looks were frightening enough? Seriously, the most I ever got was sent to my room. Swats on the butt when I was a toddler. Maybe its cause I'm an only child. Didn't have anyone to blame anything on, so why do it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 Sometimes a smack on the butt is necessary. If your child leaves the yard, lets go of your hand in traffic etc, a swat on the butt is an effective reminder you are deadly serious about some activities being no. Other punishments are far more effective for most things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilroy the Ninja Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 Absolutely agreed Cmom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 I am the only one who never acted up because my Mom's looks were frightening enough? Seriously, the most I ever got was sent to my room. Swats on the butt when I was a toddler. Maybe its cause I'm an only child. Didn't have anyone to blame anything on, so why do it? lol I was an only child and everything was my fault. It certainly never stopped me from mischief. Some things in life are worth getting punished for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BullnaChinaShop Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 People asked my mom how she could have any more children after me. Her answer was that they couldn't be any worse. She had three more after me. Out of 5 boys I was the one in trouble the most because my voice is the loudest and I could always be heard above everyone else. My parent only spanked when they had to. The threat of a spanking usually worked wonders, especially as I got older when it became embarassing to be threatened with a spanking. You know the old "you're not too old to turn over my knee." For me one of the most effective punishements my parents used was being sent to bed without dinner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasJis Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 I believe in spanking when necessary, but only on the behind. But I also believe that spanking doesn't always work, and can be over used. It boils down to the situation and the child. What works for one will not necessarily work for others, and I believe as a parent you really need to be in tune with you child to make sure they understand why they're being punished. And to make sure it works. This is the philosophy my wife and I used. I have two wonderful (but not perfect) teenage daughters who make me proud 99% of the time. They are as perfect as their parents. Punishment or how to deal with things changes as they mature, taking into account their personalities, the situation, etc. The big secret I didn't know when I was a kid was that most parents discuss their kids with each other and share insights, techniques, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dUSt Posted July 7, 2003 Share Posted July 7, 2003 The only time I really gave my daughter a spanking is 1) when she did something that could have really hurt her and 2) when she misbehaved in church. She doesn't do those things much anymore. Most of the time, her punishment is confinement to a chair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ironmonk Posted July 8, 2003 Author Share Posted July 8, 2003 Spankings are necessary... spare the rod spoil the child... but the key is proper punishment, it needs to be with love and explanation to actually teach the child. I use to work at a Level 2 day program for juvenile delinquents ages 13-18... we would get kids before boot camp, and after. I ran the Computer education, remedial education, & First Aid/CPR instruction. They were all the trouble makers that would get kicked out of school. We had thieves, vandals, drug dealers, and even a murderer. This was a gold mine of psychological study. This is a general rule, there will always be exceptions.... Something common to all of the kids, dozens of them... they were never spanked. They did what they wanted. Their parents did not care... kids need discipline, sometimes they they act out in a bad way to get attention, now, if a child acts out badly to get attention, that child will (unknowingly to the child) be programming himself for bad behavior in the future. Though it would be the parents fault, but sometimes parent have their own demons they must face... sometimes they do the best they can. Almost everyone really means well, we just get caught up in our own problems to realize the problems we cause others. The first five years of a child's life is the most important, that is where the foundation of the personality is laid, as a teen they might slip, but they will in most cases get back on track in their 20's. ...point to the story: Spankings are necessary. When I say 'spank' I strictly mean on the butt... and it doesn't have to be hard, never hit a kid in anger... make them sit in the bathroom and 'think' about what they did.... Believe me, it works....lol Thinking about a spanking that was coming for a half hour made the spanking ten times worse. GBLCM, ironmonk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hyperdulia again Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 And, like Hyper, I'm fairly callous and tactless. me? nuh uh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasJis Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 Another motto my wife and I have is "Beat while they're young and easier to catch. Hopefully their trained by the time they're older, faster, and stronger than you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 Absolutely true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted July 23, 2004 Share Posted July 23, 2004 I was spanked as a kid. I think there was a difference between the times I deserved to be punished and knew I deserved it, and the times when I was punished over and above what I deserved because one of my parents was disciplining in anger. I don't know that I'd term it "abuse" per se -- I was never bloodied -- but there were at least a few times when things crossed the line. It kind've scares me now thinking about having to discipline kids myself someday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crusader1234 Posted July 23, 2004 Share Posted July 23, 2004 I agree a lot with what the Canadian government says is o.k. Basically, no using whips or rods or belts, nowhere other than on the bottom, and not before 4 and not after like 9 or 10. Before 4, the kids don't really remember why they got punished a month later but they probably will remember getting spanked, so its just sort of terrorizing them. After 10, other methods of punishment are more effective like grounding and whatnot and you'll end up straining your relationship. Once the spankings turn into smacks in the face or using the strap I think its crossing the line into abuse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted July 23, 2004 Share Posted July 23, 2004 We got whupped real good when we were outta line. My mamma even broke some spoons over my brother's butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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