Last Months Before Entrance

[FutureFiliae]

Hello! I am new here and I want to thank all of you for the wonderful information I've found through old posts. I have been accepted into a TLM semi-contemplative, semi-active order and will be entering once construction is finished on the new convent. Please pray for me as my entrance has been delayed with no set date yet, but hopefully (God-willing) late summer. I wanted to ask if anyone has tips on spending time in these last few months before entrance. I am number 5 of 9 in my family and 6 of us are still at home (currently I'm the 2nd oldest at home), so if anyone has dealt with younger siblings/nieces and nephews having a difficult time, I'll take your advice! It is even harder as I've never moved out and lived at home during my one-year of commuting to community college. They've all met most of Sisters and Mother Superior (it's a newer and smaller, but growing order) so I think that has greatly helped. But, my 11-year old sister is having such a hard time...she's really been attaching on to me lately and I know she isn't ready for me to go yet. My 3-year old niece has also met the Sisters and knows where I'm going, but she thinks I'm coming back like I did during my aspirancy. 

Also, anyone have any experience with dealing with their bank account? I've worked for the last 3 years and have a lot saved up, and upon entrance as a candidate, I'm not allowed to have a bank account under my name. 

Thank you for any advice and God bless you all! 

[Lou]

Hey FutureFiliae,

I think with 3 y.o.'s they adapt very quickly and I wouldn't worry too much about her. She will be ok. As for your 11 y.o., ugh this is a tough one, but just keep reassuring her that you're still there for her but in a different way. Maybe find a special prayer that you say only with her and promise to say it in your heart every day at 2pm or whatever. Trying to imagine and introduce something that's just for her and reminding her that she will always be your sister and always have that place in your heart!

 

Canonically you should be allowed a bank account in your name up to profession. It's strange that this is the case? Perhaps the recommendation is that you retain your bank account but appoint an administrator of it who can deal with day-to-day things but not make any big decisions without your signature? I wonder if you could double check this as it's so, so important. But it really shouldn't be the case that you need to get rid of your bank account at this stage. Maybe someone else on the forum knows more about this than me @Nunsuch 

[Nunsuch]

Canonically, your property is your own until perpetual vows. I'm not sure what canon law says about control and use of the resources, and that may be more flexible, depending on the community. For example, some communities may ask you to put possessions in the trusteeship of someone (usually a family member), until its final disposition at final vows. In some communities, particularly ministerial ones, sisters may be permitted even to bring their cars  and then, at final vows, they would need to either sign it over to the community or get rid of it. [By then, of course, it might be rather old!]

Talk to the community. Until at least you are in temporary vows, I would not dispose of anything of real value (If you have a substantial bank account or investments, for example). Some people even continue to pay into retirement accounts, or have a family member do so. It's all so dependent on your particular circumstances. If you have any doubts, and if you don't think the community is giving you answers as detailed as you would desire or that your circumstances require, talk with a canon lawyer (there are some in every diocese).

By "property," I'm not talking about something like a coat or a pair of shoes; but about real property. If you are in a community that wears a habit, of course, secular clothing won't be necessary (though some groups continue to wear it through candidacy). If you are in a community that wears secular clothes, then you will probably be expected to bring your own, with perhaps some restrictions on how much and what kind (does the community permit jeans in "offtime"? Are you permitted to wear pantaloons when engaged in ministry or going to classes? Etc.)

As with so many things, ask the community. Never be afraid to ask questions.

For the record, I did. NOT use the word "pantaloons" in what I wrote!

Coincidentally, a link to this JUST came up in my email feed, and it may be be useful or at least of interest.

https://www.globalsistersreport.org/columns/learning-detachment-during-nun-migration-season

The link I provided is to a column written by a sister who is also a theologian, by the way.

[FutureFiliae]

@Lou and @Nunsuch Thank you both for the information. I will definitely check in with my community, but it does look like I need someone to have authority over my account, as I won't be dealing with monetary affairs in the convent (such as when tax season rolls around...) Yes, other possessions can be kept at home (car, clothes, etc) but bank account, email, and cell phone have their own specifics, the latter two being terminated before entrance. I will talk with my community and also my spiritual director who is a canon lawyer for my diocese. Thanks also for the wonderful article! 

[JHFamily]

I have a daughter that will be making her solemn vows in two weeks. Next week, I will be closing out her bank account that I jointly owned with her (for practical purposes). I will cash it out with a cashier's check made out to her community. 

On another note, her younger sister, who was 13 when she entered and loved her so dearly, will be entering the day before Sister takes her solemn vows. You will never know how much an older sister can influence the vocations of her younger siblings. 

As a mother (and someone who has her own trial of religious life), I would say that besides the obvious need for prayer, especially mental prayer, you should spend these days practicing works of charity. When you leave, personal notes are nice... Perhaps you can begin to entice your sister to join you in the beautiful enclosed garden of religious life!