vocation crisis

[maar]

i haven’t been on here in years and am unsure where to post regarding vocations since it looks like vocation station has closed. please direct me if this is not the appropriate place.

im looking for advice on my situation. i desired religious life deeply and was rejected from each community i discerned with. i have no desire for family life and children. i never did even when i was young. 

i’ve been dating since i learned religious life was a no-go but no desire has come up for me still regarding having a family.

im now 39 and feel vocationally homeless. and no— i don’t qualify as a consecrated virgin as i am not one.

any advice is so appreciated 

[allegra]

We had a bit of "interesting days" regarding the Phorum but as I understand, Vocation Station is well open - and your post would be fitting well there, I think. 

As to your question, beyond stating the obvious, (pray, have an SD) I hope you had help in distinguishing being not called to religious life from being not called into a certain community. God writes straight on crooked lines, rejections could be a push to look elsewhere, different kinds of dedicated, devoted life. There's secular institutes, private vows, so many things beyond enclosed or contemplative religious life (that's what you were exploring some years ago, wasn't it?).

And secondly, the "why" of not being attracted to marriage and family is worth exploring IMHO. Could be from upbringing, familiar influences, etc., also these are aspects that might need to be looked at and overcome. That might then enlighten also to why "it didn't work out so far", if I may say so, in religious life. 

In any case, rest assured of my prayers this evening. 

[maar]

thank you so much for your reply!

 

i didn’t know vocation station was open, so thank you! 

yes i’ve explored exhaustively as to why family life hasn’t appealed, and i just don’t know if i’ll be able to figure it out this side of heaven.

i did only explore communities of a certain size, reputation, and charism. you make a good point. i’ll continue praying, and thank you so much for your feedback and your prayers ❤️❤️

 

[Luigi]

If I were in your situation, I would think of myself as a Free Agent. Not a religious under vows of obedience to a superior, not married under obligations to a spouse and children, so I'd be free to assist in a number of ways. I could volunteer at the parish (parish council, head up a committee, take on ad hoc tasks, be an RCIA sponsor, etc.). I could become a lay associate of an order that appeals to me - many orders have lay associations these days. I could become a docent at a local shrine or historic religious site. Many more ideas will occur to you. 

Free Agent isn't a vocation, it's a sports analogy. Or you could think of it as an Independent Contractor. Or Have Hands, Will Travel. Or anything else. But however you want to think about it, you'd still be dedicating (a large portion of) your life to God and The Church (institutional or not, at some level or another).

In a way, I envy the freedom your state in life affords and all the possibilities it opens up.