Problem of Reconciliation

[BarbTherese]

The problem in the Sacrament of Reconciliation can be that not all priests by far have a compassionate and empathic response, as in video below, to a person coming to the Sacrament almost broken if not fully broken.  Such a lacking in a priest can be instrumental in the destruction of Faith, not a contributor to building it up.

 

 

 

If one can, we need to find a priest who IS compassionate and empathic and make him our regular confessor

[fides' Jack]

Sometimes a fully broken person needs a compassionate and empathic response in confession.  Sometimes a fully broken person needs a priest in confession to be hard, possibly even to yell at them, and possibly even to withhold absolution from them.

If one can, one should find a priest who truly helps them spiritually, no matter what that entails.

[BarbTherese]

Yours certainly is a personal opinion only - thank you for sharing it rightly or wrongly.

 

 

[Makarioi]

First:  Fr. Mike is amesome!  Second:  Priests are human. Confession / Reconciliation is difficult for most especially now that it's more face to face instead of behind a screen.  Many of my Faith Formation children ...and seasoned adults will not go unless it's behind a screen.  It's where their comfort level is. I would imagine that many priests have penitents that are 'regulars' with their issues and sometimes a priest may need to verbally 'shake their shoulders' to get a point across.  It's still full of empathy and compassion. Sometimes absolution is held.  Sometimes it would need to be...that's what we know and understand as Catholics.  I appreciate a priest that gives me sage advise in an adult, non sappy manner.  Children would benefit from a softer approach. 

[Norseman82]

Our previous associate pastor - one of the holiest, by-the-book priests I've known recently - in a homily giving advice about going to confession stated that if you go to confession and the priest is scolding you, tell the priest that you didn't come to be scolded, walk out, and find another priest.

[BarbTherese]

14 hours ago, Norseman82 said:

Our previous associate pastor - one of the holiest, by-the-book priests I've known recently - in a homily giving advice about going to confession stated that if you go to confession and the priest is scolding you, tell the priest that you didn't come to be scolded, walk out, and find another priest.

 

Jolly good advice!  🏆

The priest is in Confession as the visible Presence to the invisible reality.  Jesus is Present. In Persona Christi.

The priest IS the compassionate infinitely merciful, loving, JESUS.  That is the obligation of the priest celebrant.  All too often it is the penitent criticized re Confession.  I have never read an article criticizing the priest.

 

Edited June 11, 2023 by BarbTherese

[BarbTherese]

Mum and Dad had 5 children when Dad's financial position was bankruptcy.  He had his own butcher shop.  Dad insisted on paying his creditors back so he took 2 jobs and Mum did too.  Mum went to Confession to ask if she could use the contraception pill.  The priest said "Ïf you use it you will go to Hell"

Mum replied "You go to Hell" and walked out.  The local convent owed $800 and simply told Dad  that they could not pay.  The local parish owed over $1,000 and said the same.

 

[fides' Jack]

On 6/10/2023 at 10:31 AM, Norseman82 said:

Our previous associate pastor - one of the holiest, by-the-book priests I've known recently - in a homily giving advice about going to confession stated that if you go to confession and the priest is scolding you, tell the priest that you didn't come to be scolded, walk out, and find another priest.

Your previous associate pastor would have considered St. John Vianney and St. Pio of Pietrelcina to be bad confessors then.  It seems to me far more likely that your previous associate pastor did not know what he was talking about, and through his ignorance is willing to place souls in peril.

On 6/11/2023 at 1:02 AM, BarbTherese said:

Jolly good advice!  🏆

That's a really dangerous statement, spiritually speaking.

On 6/11/2023 at 1:02 AM, BarbTherese said:

The priest IS the compassionate infinitely merciful, loving, JESUS.  

Don't forget also infinitely just.  They go hand-in-hand.

On 6/11/2023 at 1:28 AM, BarbTherese said:

The priest said "Ïf you use it you will go to Hell"

Mum replied "You go to Hell" and walked out.

If this is a true story, and if Mum used contraception and did not receive absolution for that, then it's very likely she went to hell.  The priest is correct, and anyone who says differently or tries to defend the actions of Mum in this story is a heretic, at least materially.  The priest in this case is the one who was compassionate and merciful and loving.  

Those who commit grave sins, such as contraception, or fornication, or pornography, or abortion, or cohabitation, or intentionally missing Sunday Mass, and do not go to confession, will almost certainly go to hell.  As that is the truth, the only loving, compassionate, and merciful response to it is to spread the word.

[Norseman82]

5 hours ago, fides' Jack said:

Your previous associate pastor would have considered St. John Vianney and St. Pio of Pietrelcina to be bad confessors then.  It seems to me far more likely that your previous associate pastor did not know what he was talking about, and through his ignorance is willing to place souls in peril.

A priest can be bluntly honest without being unnecessarily verbally abusive to the point where a priest makes a penitent feel like .  

On 6/11/2023 at 2:28 AM, BarbTherese said:

Mum and Dad had 5 children when Dad's financial position was bankruptcy.  He had his own butcher shop.  Dad insisted on paying his creditors back so he took 2 jobs and Mum did too.  Mum went to Confession to ask if she could use the contraception pill.  The priest said "Ïf you use it you will go to Hell"

Mum replied "You go to Hell" and walked out.  The local convent owed $800 and simply told Dad  that they could not pay.  The local parish owed over $1,000 and said the same.

Barb, I am unaware of any special circumstance where a priest can give a dispensation to use artificial contraception.  However, is the refusal to pay the bill retaliation for your mom's storming out of confession?  If it is, I would have to wonder if there is an issue with the priest breaking the seal of confession.  

[fides' Jack]

6 hours ago, Norseman82 said:

A priest can be bluntly honest without being unnecessarily verbally abusive to the point where a priest makes a penitent feel like .  

Nobody is talking about verbal abuse.

[fides' Jack]

17 hours ago, Norseman82 said:

However, is the refusal to pay the bill retaliation for your mom's storming out of confession?

I had not considered that aspect of the story.  If that's true, it would be gravely sinful on the part of the priest, and in agreement this would seem to be a violation of the seal of confession.  That being said, that's really between the priest and his superiors, and God.  It also would not detract from the grave matter of using contraception.

I do think that penitents should feel terrible about their sins.  If they don't, it would seem to be in their best interest for the confessor to help them in that regard.  I know it's easy for people (myself included) to get so used to going to confession that we might sometimes be somewhat lacking in the "be sorry for your sins" requirement for a good confession.  In those cases, a severe word from the confessor might help to snap us out of our apathy and allow us to have the sorrow that we truly wish to feel.  I would certainly appreciate that at times.  

[BarbTherese]

On 6/14/2023 at 2:08 AM, fides' Jack said:

I had not considered that aspect of the story.  If that's true, it would be gravely sinful on the part of the priest, and in agreement this would seem to be a violation of the seal of confession.  That being said, that's really between the priest and his superiors, and God.  It also would not detract from the grave matter of using contraception.

I do think that penitents should feel terrible about their sins.  If they don't, it would seem to be in their best interest for the confessor to help them in that regard.  I know it's easy for people (myself included) to get so used to going to confession that we might sometimes be somewhat lacking in the "be sorry for your sins" requirement for a good confession.  In those cases, a severe word from the confessor might help to snap us out of our apathy and allow us to have the sorrow that we truly wish to feel.  I would certainly appreciate that at times.  

I may not have made my point clear, Norseman:

Mum was very worried about the family.  We were a close family and now we were going to be split up, in fact my baby brother had to go into foster care.  I dont think either, nor did Mum, that a priest could give some sort of dispensation to use contraceptives - this was not well known for some time in The Church, but if Mum should get pregnant again, the family would be in a far worse position.  Father had no right to tell Mum so bluntly and cruelly that she could go to Hell.  Mum had no right to react as she did to Father.  But people are human and bring their bruised humanity into the Confessional and Father probably brought his own bruised humanity, probably tired and overworked, into the Confessional as well.  We are human beings, even the saints remained human with their faults and failings.  But priests do have a very serious obligation in the Confessional.  The penitent has the obligation to bring his/her bruised humanity.

I don't have an answer under current circumstances in a discipline of The Church, do you?

[fides' Jack]

On 6/18/2023 at 12:20 PM, BarbTherese said:

Father had no right to tell Mum so bluntly and cruelly that she could go to Hell.

He not only had a right to say this, but a duty to say it.  In fact, it would probably constitute grave matter for him not to say so.  It is not cruel.  It would be cruel for him not to say it.  To say that the priest had no right is a very anti-Catholic position.  If there is any reason to go to confession at all, then this is the first and most important right that a priest in confession has.

On 6/18/2023 at 12:20 PM, BarbTherese said:

But priests do have a very serious obligation in the Confessional.

Agreed, as just mentioned.  They have a very serious obligation for the soul of the penitent.  Where the penitent could end up, depending on the circumstances and the sins, MUST be the very first concern.

On 6/18/2023 at 12:20 PM, BarbTherese said:

I don't have an answer under current circumstances in a discipline of The Church, do you?

Certainly there are circumstances in which there are no good answers.  This is not one of them.