Resentment

[Cabshear]

Hello, 

It's been about a year since I have posted here. I used to be very active on this forum many many years ago. When I was in high school I remember coming here and debating a member named "Budge" lol a very passionate believer.

I wanted to talked about something I have discovered (in prayer) during my recent slow move back into my Catholic faith. I wanted to talk about resentment. Not so much resentment against Catholicism, but a resentment of Christianity in general caused by harsh Protestant ideas. Of course I am not here to start a flame war on Protestants. What I didn't anticipate is how much resentment the controlling life in that world would cause. Not to be childish but when I was younger I was taught that Pokemon, Magic, and DnD were tools of Satan. Power Rangers was "Satanic". Some people here may believe that, but when I was 11 or 12 (now being 34) it was interesting to me. Fun games most of my friends played. However, I was banned from this by my Christian parents. "Christopher, these are tools of the Devil to get you!" Of course, humorously, this rule didn't apply to my father's Led Zeppelin or Pink Floyd collection. The Beatles were okay, but Godsmack was a band of Satanic Disciples. My mom even refused to let me purchase POD albums. It was too much like the World. Christian Rock was a contradiction in terms. I am ranting I apologize. The denomination I grew up in was Calvinistic Othodox Presbyterianism. When I mentioned to the pastor I was looking into Catholicism he gave me Loraine Boettner's book on Catholicism. 

This ended up creating resentment. I felt trapped and imprisoned. Never able to connect with my friends. When I was in Boy Scouts our Troop Leader would confiscate Yugioh cards, if we were found playing them on a camping trip. Of course now much of this sounds childish, but when you are younger this can make you feel very trapped and walled in. Not to mention the hard times I went through when I was going through RCIA. 

I think this is why I left Christianity and sought out other spiritual practices, like Buddhism. It didn't trap me or attempt to control me. Buddhism may not fundamentally agree with Christianity, but it doesn't really trash talk Christians. However, I saw a lot of Christians around me trash talking other Christians, and other religions. It was very confusing and really built up the level of resentment in me. 

It's taken me many years to see this and to come to terms with this. However, I am interesting in how others could provide an alternative way of looking at this. Thank you!

-Chris A. 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 29, 2022 by Cabshear
typos

[Archaeology cat]

Hey, no great words of wisdom here, but welcome back (and I remember debating Budge, too lol). I do know what you mean about some resentment, and I’ve struggled with it at times, too. It may sound cliché, but what I always come back to is St Peter’s statement that Jesus has the words of everlasting life. Praying, and pray for me, too.

[BarbTherese]

My tuppence: St Teresa Benedicta of The Cross - Edith Stein.  She wrote that she stopped believing in God and did not come into The Church until round about 30 years of age.  Holiness, or wholeness if you like, should make us more human not less human; therefore, the journey of Faith and spirituality is a journey of the self.  To know exactly who one is in reality and to work with that, not an imaginary self which I or we can project in company.  Archbishop Fulton Sheen illustrates this with great clarity in Psychiatry and Psychology talks - I think that was the title anyway.

St Teresa of Avila wrote about the foundational importance of humility to the journey towards Unity with God, Father Son and Holy Spirit - One God. Amen, perfected only in Heaven, the foundation of which is self-knowledge.  There is no real spirituality and relationship without humility, genuine humility, she wrote - words with that understanding anyway.

If one is resentful work with that and not push it away into the 'cellar of the mind' or the unconscious (A/b Fulton Sheen again).  The following is a pretty good video, I thought - most especially the emphasis on prayer and the central position of The Cross.  It is only 6:02 minutes long. 

Incidentally, I fail miserably rather often in humility and self-knowledge ... but not only - 

 

Edited August 17, 2022 by BarbTherese