Siblings and vocations

[Hannie_f]

Hey,

I am discerning a contemplative vocation, and from his questions, various conversations and jokes with my younger brother it would far from surprise me if he said that he was thinking about religious life as well. Does anyone know much about the experience for a family and parents to having say multiple children discerning and even entering religious life?

[Luigi]

It used to be extremely common. 

I have three aunts (from a family of 4 boys and 9 girls) who entered religious life, two in one order and the third in another. Within both of those congregations, there are multiple family connections - one pair of twins, seven sets of sisters, two sisters + a cousin, an aunt + a niece, etc. In my diocese (over the course of decades) I can think of half a dozen pair of brothers ordained for the diocese, although at the moment there is only one pair - as I say, it used to be common. From my parish, two sisters entered religious life (one cloistered Carmelite, one active School Sisters of Notre Dame). Or local Carmel had a pair of twins, too. Families used to be bigger, and if multiple children entered religious life, there were still plenty of others who married & had children, who took care of Mom & Dad in their old age, etc. 

I think the important thing is that each sibling has a true vocation and is not entering religious life or the priesthood simply to make Mom & Dad happy (which I have seen happen - it didn't turn out well), or B follows A into religious life simply because he doesn't know what else to do with himself. 

It's not as common as it once was, but it still happens. 

Edited June 7, 2022 by Luigi

[Tessa]

I know a family who has a son and a daughter in religious life. They found it difficult and lonely at times but are ultimately so grateful for their children's vocations and wouldn't wish them to be anywhere else. It took them a while to see that but now say often that they see how good it is that 2 of their kids are Religious.

[gloriana35]

14 hours ago, Luigi said:

I think the important thing is that each sibling has a true vocation and is not entering religious life or the priesthood simply to make Mom & Dad happy (which I have seen happen - it didn't turn out well), or B follows A into religious life simply because he doesn't know what else to do with himself. 

This is very true. I don't know whether all of them persevered in religious life, but I knew one family, with seven children, who had three daughters all enter a religious community.

I am inclined to doubt that parents would do anything to push their children into religious life today. A devout woman, who had children (and plenty of them) in the 1940s or 1950s may have prayed that one of them would be a priest or religious - but she'd see religious and priests she greatly respected leaving in droves (sometimes to marry each other) by the 1970s or 80s. Even if someone actually prayed that one of her children would be a priest or religious, I don't like anyone even making that known to the children. You will remember that Zelie Martin (whose five daughters all entered monasteries) hoped her sons (who did not survive to adulthood) would be priests. For a pious woman to hope for this is understandable - but working on the lace for a baby son's ordination alb as he lies in his cot is absurd.

It's been many years since anyone I knew even was seeking to enter religious life - and the number wasn't plentiful even 50 years ago. I'm actually surprised that family members still end up entering the same communities.

 

[JHFamily]

I actually know of several families with children in their 20's and 30's with 2 or more children in religious life.  One of the siblings related a story to me about how much his dad resisted then cried and cried when they took the first girl to the monastery. When the second one went, they dropped her off without fanfare and said, "We'll be seeing you!" Then, a son entered the monastery as well.

[Lady Grey, Hot]

I think the Nashville Dominicans have three biological sisters among their ranks.