How essential is the bridal identity to the individual religious sister?

[Lady Grey, Hot]

I don't have the same nuanced insights into the matter as I have seen elsewhere on this board, but I basically get the concept of the religious sister as being a bride in the sense that she is a sign/symbol of the Church. My question is of a more practical nature: to what extent does that image/identity have to extend to any given sister's personal relationship with God? 

For example, the way my relationship with God makes the most sense to me is if think of it in terms of teacher and pupil. And I prize that. I think that particular brand of affection (and dare I say, intimacy) uniquely fulfills me, and I think I would probably be willing to permanently entrust myself to His "tutelage," if you will. I have a hard time imagining that spousal terms would ever compel me in the same way. In fact, I have had some experiences that have sort of soured me on bridal imagery. Does that mean that I could never be a sister? 

[Dymphna]

2 hours ago, Lady Grey, Hot said:

 I have a hard time imagining that spousal terms would ever compel me in the same way. In fact, I have had some experiences that have sort of soured me on bridal imagery. Does that mean that I could never be a sister? 

From my experience, no, you won't be able to close the book on your discernment that easily 😉

I don't see myself as a bride of Christ in  my personal prayer, but as far as I remember, this subject didn't even come up in conversations about discernment up to now, so it's certainly not a deciding factor in my community. Other communities may differ, I obviously can't speak for all, but in my experience, religious communities have a great respect for the individuality of the personal relationship with God - as long as you have a relationship in which you are growing, the imagery that is helpful for you is a matter between you and God.

[Tessa]

I would say that some sisters see themselves as brides as an image of the Church as you described, while others would see themselves serving the Lord as brides serve their spouse or families. A bride too, as belonging totally to Christ and a bride in the purity of trust in the step she takes. 

Sometimes people aren't attracted to some images related to Religious life and then someday it just clicks and they come to empathise with something of the nuance of it- even if not the whole image.

I think too that your relationship with the Lord as teacher-pupil is beautiful and comparable to the bridal imagery! Spouse learn from and trust one another. They surrender their wills to each other- just as a pupil sometimes surrenders her ideas to her teacher. There's a desire to spend time with someone you learn from, you're challenged and you grow. That's the same in a spousal relationship- you're challenged to learn new things, to grow, to love, to meet 'halfway'... 

[Sponsa-Christi]

My opinion is that, depending on the individual religious and specific religious community, bridal spirituality certainly can be a big part of a religious vocation, but it doesn't necessarily have to be. I think it's appropriate when religious understand themselves as brides of Christ, but I also think it's completely fine if this imagery doesn't resonate for some women religious.

However, being a bride of Christ is what the vocation of consecrated virginity is all about! So if a woman really can't wrap her mind around bridal spirituality, she's for sure not called to be a CV!

I actually wrote a blog post on this exact topic a few years back: https://sponsa-christi.blogspot.com/2015/03/who-can-be-called-bride-of-christ.html

6 hours ago, Lady Grey, Hot said:

For example, the way my relationship with God makes the most sense to me is if think of it in terms of teacher and pupil. And I prize that. I think that particular brand of affection (and dare I say, intimacy) uniquely fulfills me, and I think I would probably be willing to permanently entrust myself to His "tutelage," if you will. I have a hard time imagining that spousal terms would ever compel me in the same way. In fact, I have had some experiences that have sort of soured me on bridal imagery. Does that mean that I could never be a sister? 

This definitely would not keep you from becoming a religious Sister (although as I pointed out above, it's probably a sign that you're not called to discern consecrated virginity). 

Some religious communities do emphasize bridal imagery more heavily than others, so you might want to take that into consideration as you discern. But even a community that does have some bridal imagery in, for example, their profession ceremonies isn't automatically going to make this the focus of their community prayer life. Still, it's something that would probably be good to talk about as you visit communities. 

[Lady Grey, Hot]

10 hours ago, Tessa said:

they come to empathise with something of the nuance of it- even if not the whole image.

I think I'm already there, to some degree. The bridegroom bit makes sense to me in that it is a good metaphor for God's pursuit of and longing for me. I've just never thought those things were limited to bridegrooms (or romantic relationships more broadly).

[Lady Grey, Hot]

10 hours ago, Tessa said:

Spouse learn from and trust one another.

I think the insane power imbalance is one of the things that makes the spousal imagery so tough for me to get. I'm inclined to think human marriages take place between individuals who are more or less equal. But God obviously has nothing to learn from me, no need to grow, etc. So what exactly is it that I bring to that relationship? The hierarchy makes a lot more sense to me in terms of being a student or a soldier. My teacher/captain is obviously superior to me; if I'm willing to trust them and do the work they ask of me, that is enough to get us where we need to go.

[Sponsa-Christi]

@Lady Grey, HotI mean, ultimately do what works for you spirituality. Relating to Christ as a teacher is certainly very legitimate. If you relate best to God that way, then perhaps this is the way God wants to lead you.

That being said...this might sound silly, but I look at the Divine spousal power imbalance as being sort of like the Cinderella story. The Prince loves Cinderella in her lowliness and humility, and her raises her up to be his queen when he marries her. 

[Nunsuch]

Talk with the community you are discerning with. I honestly know almost no sisters these days who find this usage relevant or appropriate, but I know there are communities that use it a lot. You may not belong in the latter.

[gloriana35]

What could be wrong with your seeing God in a 'teacher/student' relationship? Jesus of Nazareth had women amongst his disciples, whom we revere.

There is no one image anyone has of God. God is transcendent - beyond our real understanding. 

[Nunsuch]

Many of the sisters (and others) I know refer to "Jesus, our Brother."