Writing to a monastery

[Hannie_f]

Hi! First time posting so unsure if doing this right but anyway. 

Curious if when you've written to a monastery or convent asking about discernment/vocation how long you can expect to wait for a reply (post, not email). I also didn't know if after not hearing for say a month I should write again. Any advice appreciated. And prayers for patience! 

[Tessa]

I think waiting about 8 weeks is fair! Sometimes, if they have a phone, it might be nice to ring them and say ''I hope you got my letter!", in a friendly way! To establish a relationship. They would also get more of a sense of who you are as a person and then be in contact with you. A voice to the person! 

I will pray for you.

[JHFamily]

Some communities do not write during Easter. Therefore, the letters could be backed up. I also know from first hand experience that some communities take about 6 weeks (maybe to test a vocation, but that's just conjecture). Agreeing with Tessa, I would say that after two months, write again. Calling depends on the community; I would not suggest it.

[gloriana35]

They not only would be backed up from Easter - some monasteries do not distribute mail (or write to anyone) during Lent. 

 

[JHFamily]

1 hour ago, gloriana35 said:

They not only would be backed up from Easter - some monasteries do not distribute mail (or write to anyone) during Lent. 

 

Oops! That's what I meant to say.

[Hannie_f]

22 hours ago, JHFamily said:

Some communities do not write during Easter. Therefore, the letters could be backed up. I also know from first hand experience that some communities take about 6 weeks (maybe to test a vocation, but that's just conjecture). Agreeing with Tessa, I would say that after two months, write again. Calling depends on the community; I would not suggest it.

Okay, thank you both so much. How does waiting the six weeks test a vocation though if I may ask?

[Tessa]

I think calling would definitely depend on the community- I should have said that! Yes, waiting or writing again after some time would probably be better than calling! Do they use email?

waiting 6 weeks to test... I think sometimes Vocation Directors get some enquiries from people writing just on a whim or who haven't thought it through properly or who are a little 'stuck' in their lives and looking for a way out. Not suggesting that they're being disingenuous by writing, they probably do it in good faith, but their idea of having a vocation might wear thin after a couple weeks or after they find something more fulfilling for them. So if it takes a VD a long time to write back, it may because she wants to see if you're still keen on the idea after a while. I don't think it's the norm though! It's probably more because she didn't receive the letter, she's busy or there's a Lenten backup! 

[Hannie_f]

They do, I just really do dislike emailing about such personal things. That might just be a thing I need to get over myself about though. Though as you say after waiting for an extended period of time, emailing would be a good thing to think about for making a second attempt at contact again. 

And the six week thing makes sense now, thank you! 

[debc]

Every convent seems so different. As others said, some are slow to write back, some hound you with emails back and some don't have an email and you can only call. One VD said she carried a blackberry (now cell) to return inquiries as soon as possible. : )

I know for instance the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal in NYC want you to call, no email (which is odd, the friars there have it) but they feel it's better and many nervous women have said how pleasant and welcoming they were despite what they said or how they babbled. The Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist VD is very prompt in returning calls or emails. Some sisters said she was a little "nagging" (used different word) over the months and changed one nuns mind about college. I didn't agree with it as a bystander but other times she did say to a young woman to finish school. Either way she made herself present. My point just being in seeing many youtubes about vocations and TV appearances , different groups across the US and abroad, their own discernment process is so varied.

I pray everyone who is discerning ends up where they are supposed to be whether religious vocation or not.

Edited May 17, 2022 by debc

[gloriana35]

I used to have a friend who was a Carmelite (1980s-early 90s.) Not only did they not correspond with anyone during Lent, but they received a huge number of prayer requests. I don't know if that still is true, and such monasteries as hers never were large (they had perhaps 2 nuns entering each year, even before the Council), but it is possible that yours is one of many letters, especially if they do not use email. (I understand that some monasteries have others assist in filtering email and forwarding prayer requests - the nuns themselves do not handle it personally.)