Pray for Friend's Convent Visit

[tinytherese]

My friend is staying at a convent next week until after Easter Sunday. Please pray for her discernment.

She's expressed worry about whether she should've done this sooner and how it'll go. She wanted to finish her last year of college. She went on a nun run in the past with other young ladies. Some were asked to join the community that day. She wonders why she wasn't asked to do that. Instead, they told her maybe she could enter. 

I assured her that perhaps those others were at a different stage in their vocation journeys. The time may not have been right for her. 

She's visiting The Little Sisters of The Lamb in Kansas City, Kansas. 

https://communityofthelamb.org/fraternities/little-sisters-of-the-lamb/little-monastery-lumen-christi/

[NadaTeTurbe]

But communities are not supposed to ask you to enter ! You are the one who goes to them.

[gloriana35]

4 hours ago, NadaTeTurbe said:

But communities are not supposed to ask you to enter ! You are the one who goes to them.

That can vary greatly. I recall, many years ago, when I was one of those seeking to enter a religious community. Though all of us were sent for psychological tests, had meetings, filled out questionnaires, etc, we were told constantly that this was not application - and that we could not ask to apply, but had to wait and see if the community offered us application.

Yet I've known vocation directors who have mentioned that their communities wait for a candidate to ask for the application. (Someone with my experience, or who had known someone with the same, would think she could not ask.) 

[NadaTeTurbe]

I always heard and saw the contrary : that you had to ask yourself, that if the community took the intiative to ask you to enter, they would be influencing you, etc

[Sister Leticia]

Yes, that would normally be the case, Nada. But sometimes a discerner needs a bit of a nudge! S/he might be afraid to ask (what if they say no? what if they say yes??) - or convinced they aren't the right sort of candidate, or there's something in their background which would put the order off. They might normally be people who take ages to make up their minds, or have the idea that discernment MUST take a certain amount of time, or proceed in a certain way. In these cases an astute VD might decide it would be more helpful to ask a direct question, or say something to open up a conversation about entering.

Having said that, I'll just add, Tiny Therese, that your friend seems to be dwelling on what someone told her the nuns said to them. This might be their interpretation of an encouraging remark. And maybe the other young women were more upfront, and invited this sort of encouragement, whereas your friend might have been quieter and seemed more reticent. And of course, if she wanted to finish her studies then the nuns were quite right to leave her be, and just keep in touch.

Context is important! (And did those young women end up joining?)

[gloriana35]

Much as my experience was that the community had to offer application, I'm inclined to doubt that anyone who was just visiting would be asked if she wished to join immediately. Either the others did misinterpret encouragement, or they had been in a process of discernment for quite some time. I think many, if not all, communities would have encouraged your friend to finish her studies. (And many require degrees before entrance.) 

Edited March 6, 2022 by gloriana35
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