Help needed from Canon Lawyers please

[Mhairi]

A friend of mine was  all set to make vows next month when this was suspended by the community because ‘information had been presented which would make vows impossible at this time’. She is shocked and so am I! At present no one is really telling her why and my mind is working overtime about what could prevent vows being made, unless it was something very serious. She has never been married so it isn’t as if a husband or dependent children have turned up at the door. If someone could clarify impediments to making vows I would be grateful as I am bewildered and confused (as is she)

[GraceUk]

Its a bit strange that her congregation has been secretive about the reason. Why doesn't she just ask them.  This is only guesswork. Does she own property. Has she got debt. Is her immigration status a problem. They should tell her. 

[Mhairi]

Thanks GraceUK. No property, no debt. No problems with immigration. The community are telling her ‘some work needs to be done’, which is even more mystifying! I am praying for her and all the confusion she feels, particularly as the community voted for her to make Profession and she has been with them a number of years so they should have had access to all the information they needed about her during that time.

[Bonkira]

Is the situation actually about her or is there something logistical at play? Both statements you've reported could be taken as that there is something within the community that needs to be remedied or a scheduling issue or something else. If she was approved for profession, then she should ask more questions if it is unclear to her. They presumably haven't asked her to leave, so it's likely not grave.

Edited December 13, 2021 by Bonkira

[Dymphna]

I'm with Bonkira on this. I'd certainly expect a community where I've lived for years to tell me if there is a problem with my personality, previous life etc. which makes vows impossible. Such things need to be spoken about openly.

But if the problem is somewhere else and the community is for some reason currently not able to accept vows then that is a different matter. That could concern other sisters who need their privacy protected right now. So it would make sense that the community isn't clear on the matter.

[gloriana35]

I agree with Dymphna and Bonkira. The problem very well may be internal, within the community, and not related to her personally. Not everything that members of a council or superiors might be facing would be generally made known to all - particularly to those still in formation.

[Mhairi]

Thank you all for your replies. I will keep praying!

[GraceUk]

That's a good point that the problem might be within the community and its structure. But I still think they should have said it's an internal problem. If this is the case.  Rather than leave your fridnd in the dark worrying the problem might be with her. 

[JHFamily]

My initial though was that there was an internal problem of some sort that needs to be cleared up. To accept her for vows when the community is in a tenuous position would be uncharitable. The community may be in a position that is illegal or imprudent to discuss. But that's just conjecture.

If, indeed, it does have to do with some individual problem that your friend may have, she really doesn't have any legal recourse. She has not made her perpetual vows, and the community does not have any obligation to allow her to do so. If there was a serious problem, they would have, however, asked her to leave. I think she just needs to be patient, at least for a time, and accept this cross God has given to her.

 

[Sister Leticia]

Like everyone else here I don't know your friend, or her community, except the little you have said. It also isn't clear whether she was told this a couple of days ago or several weeks ago, and who told her and exactly what was said. But I'll just make a few comments, in the hope that some of it might be relevant.

Firstly, as your friend is a novice, she has a Novice Mistress. That's who she needs to talk to about this. She might have regular, scheduled meetings with her NM, but if not, she needs to ask for one. If the NM isn't available (eg she's seriously ill) then there will be someone else to whom she is accountable and with whom she should be able to discuss this.

Secondly, it's possible your friend was given some reassurance, but she became so upset that she didn't hear it. The NM might have said "Don't worry, you will be able to make your vows, but not for another month or so..." but your friend focused on the suspension, and lack of clear reason. Even the most clear-headed among us can get so distressed when hearing bad news that we stop thinking clearly and processing what's being said. 

If your friend then doesn't say or ask anything her NM (or other authority figure) might assume she understands and is fine with the delay. Admittedly, she ought to notice that this novice is looking especially distraught, but maybe the NM isn't very observant, or maybe she is too preoccupied with whatever is causing the delay. 

And finally... people in initial formation can be and feel very vulnerable - but they can also contribute to this vulnerability. The desire to appear to be a "good", obedient religious means that they might seek to accept something without asking questions, even if this can lead to confusion, and maybe a complete lack of understanding. Whereas there's nothing wrong with asking questions for clarification. And if you don't ask, and then blunder along, you might get asked "But why didn't you just ask if you didn't understand???"

So, it's likely that your friend is feeling especially vulnerable and in a strange, uncertain position, and therefore scared to ask. But let's remember that Our Lady was able to ask Gabriel for clarification ("But how can it be....?") - so I hope your friend finds the courage to do likewise.

[JHFamily]

15 hours ago, Sister Leticia said:

 

And finally... people in initial formation can be and feel very vulnerable - but they can also contribute to this vulnerability. The desire to appear to be a "good", obedient religious means that they might seek to accept something without asking questions, even if this can lead to confusion, and maybe a complete lack of understanding. Whereas there's nothing wrong with asking questions for clarification. And if you don't ask, and then blunder along, you might get asked "But why didn't you just ask if you didn't understand???"

As an aside, I heard a sermon where the priest was talking about discernment and indicated that a sign of a religious vocation is the possession of "prudent obedience, not blind obedience". I'm not a religious, but I've applied that statement to my life many times.

[gloriana35]

21 hours ago, JHFamily said:

If, indeed, it does have to do with some individual problem that your friend may have, she really doesn't have any legal recourse. She has not made her perpetual vows, and the community does not have any obligation to allow her to do so. If there was a serious problem, they would have, however, asked her to leave

Very good point. Not only do communities have no obligation to admit someone to vows, but, if someone is not in final vows, they can dismiss them - there does not have to be a reason, and they have no recourse. 

I mention this only because I'm surprised at how many people (not in this thread - I mean whom I have met during my extensive life-time) confuse membership in a religious community with legal rights or job situations. (This though many employers can terminate employees 'at will' - unless they were under a contract.) If a community finds someone is not what they want, they can send her away without explanation - it is not a 'trial', has nothing to do with the individual's moral character (in most cases), and is not 'appealed.' No-one has any legal right to be a member of a community.

Though, based on this post, it was only a postponement of vows, not someone's being told to leave, I was glad to see mention of that there is no legal recourse or community obligation.