The "Bride" making first vows

[DameAgnes]

You know, I understand the appeal of the bridal gear -- and for some, the ring at First Vows -- but I have never been able to square it with WHEN it is used. It seems to me that communities who use bridalwear either as the women head into the novitiate or into first vows are not really MAKING SENSE of it. A true wedding/marriage is supposed to be forever. A novice may leave at any time. Someone in First Vows may still be asked to leave, or may leave when their temp vows expire. How is that a marriage? Same with rings at first vows. Makes no sense to me. IMHO if the bridal/wedding trappings are used, shouldn't it be at FINAL vows, when you're risking making something of a mockery ("what, you got divorced") if a woman discerns out of religious life? https://aleteia.org/2021/11/21/this-is-how-a-young-woman-begins-her-life-in-the-order-of-saint-clare/

[truthfinder]

Not sure about novices, but I do have to wonder about whether communities which use it at first vows might be a hold over from when there were only vows (you did your noviciate and then perpetually professed - probably in the convent 1-2 years).  

[Sponsa-Christi]

@DameAgnesI think with Poor Clares specifically, the tradition is that St. Clare wore her rich wedding finery and then made a point of casting that worldly beauty aside when she received the habit from St. Francis. So for Poor Clares, it may be just as much about imitating their foundress as it is about being a bride of Christ.

But I agree, the timing always did seem weird to me, since "wedding dress communities" in general seem to have this at the reception of the habit rather than vows. Logically, it would make a lot more sense to have all the strong bridal symbolism at final vows...but I guess if you've already been wearing the habit for several years, it would be weird to take it off and wear something else for the day?

In any event, that's one very minor thing I like about being a consecrated virgin...CVs have *one* ceremony where you make a once-and-for-all spousal life commitment, so it's totally logically consistent to wear a wedding dress on your consecration day. LOL! 

[Dymphna]

I'm certainly no fan of bridal gear in vow ceremonies - at least until men in religious orders wear it as well, they are "brides of Christ" just as well at their vows ceremony. ;-)

But in the communities I know, the first vows are not seen as "we'll try it out for some years". They are seen as "permanent with the option of an escape route". When someone thinks about first vows, and also when community members think about whether someone should be accepted for first vows, they are encouraged not to think "can I / do I want to live this life / live with this person for the next three years?" but to base their decision on the assumption that this is it. For life. This is a different perspective. The idea is that during the time of the novitiate, the person and the community establish whether they believe this is their vocation. And then at first vows they confirm their conclusion. And the "default" is that in the following years the reality of life confirms that conclusion. That these vows are not permanent is just an "emergency exit".

From this perspective it's clear, in my opinion, that if you understand religious life as being married to Christ, then the "wedding ceremony" can be at least as much at first vows as at final vows.

[truthfinder]

Thank you @Dymphna for putting that so clearly. I started to put this into my own comment and couldn’t make it comprehensible. I have seen this exact sentiment expressed by several communities in their writings/newsletters/blogs. 

[GraceUk]

I can see why folk have misgivings about would be novices in full bridal regalia. But also can see the appeal. I would love to attend such a ceremony live.  There was a long thread years ago that ran for ages called something like 'the wedding dress orders for us Romantics.'  Dont know if its still there to be read.  

[Nunsuch]

Very few communities--only the more traditional--do the whole "bridal" thing anymore. Most sisters I know refer to Jesus in ways very different from spousal: more as "Jesus our brother," "Jesus our companion," etc. 

[JHFamily]

We should also consider that a woman becomes a member of the order the day she becomes a novice, so this may play into the equation, as well.

[gloriana35]

I personally think the restrictions the Vatican recommended for reception of novices (where no-one could be present except for members of the community) was excessive - but I'll save that for another thread, should it ever exist. Archbishop Bugnini wrote of this at length - it was long before the mass exodus post-1970, and there always had been many people who entered but did not remain till final vows, but, in relation to ritual, I can see how liturgical scholars disliked the idea that elaborate reception ceremonies could 'limit the freedom' of the novice.

This is not a criticism, only an observation. (I am of mature years.) Not all communities had novices or those making first vows dress as brides, though many did. Yet I had thought that reception into novitiate had become so restricted that none would have anything elaborate. It must be forty years since I saw a Sister wear a bridal gown on her profession day (at that time, her community still wore the 'old habit,' coif, headbands - but did not receive the habit until profession day.) 

The Church is the Bride of Christ, but bridal imagery in one's devotions in consecrated life is fine with me - as an exclusive, total, permanent commitment. It just isn't my style to take it over the top, even if there are those who have beautiful imagery of that sort. I didn't dress as a bride when I made my vows - but I doubt I'd have wanted all the trimmings had I been married. (I would have been the sort of bride who wore a smart theatre suit, and got married in a chapel with just the priest and two witnesses attending.) 

[Sister Leticia]

Until 1967 our sisters wore wedding dresses when they became novices. Some found this deeply meaningful; others didn't, because it didn't symbolise how they felt about their relationship with Christ. But they had to do it, in order to become novices - and it was what most orders did at the time. 

But as Nunsense has said, only the more traditional communities would still use and encourage spousal imagery. Most of us relate to Christ in a very different - though no less loving, intimate - way.

And I think as Gloriana says, it is possible to relate to Christ as a bride and not want to wear whatever the most elaborate bridal wear is in one's culture! Just as a gorgeous wedding dress or floral wreath isn't what makes a woman a bride and a wife - it has to be an inner disposition. 

[JHFamily]

I saw a video on YouTube (sorry -- I couldn't find it again!) wherein a community had Asian postulants who wore their traditional bridal finery on their clothing day. It was beautiful!

[AveMariaPurissima]

55 minutes ago, JHFamily said:

I saw a video on YouTube (sorry -- I couldn't find it again!) wherein a community had Asian postulants who wore their traditional bridal finery on their clothing day. It was beautiful!

Was it this one? https://youtu.be/kzJ5HiX4uvk

[linnie]

22 minutes ago, AveMariaPurissima said:

Was it this one? https://youtu.be/kzJ5HiX4uvk

I remember seeing this years ago.  I just thought how uncomfortable it must have been to put the habit over a wedding gown

[nikita92]

On 12/2/2021 at 9:36 AM, GraceUk said:

I can see why folk have misgivings about would be novices in full bridal regalia. But also can see the appeal. I would love to attend such a ceremony live.  There was a long thread years ago that ran for ages called something like 'the wedding dress orders for us Romantics.'  Dont know if its still there to be read.  

Here it is Grace!

The Wedding Dress Orders (For Us Romantics)

By InPersonaChriste,
October 18, 2011 in The Vocation Station

(It went on like for 20 pages or so.)

[JHFamily]

11 hours ago, AveMariaPurissima said:

Was it this one? https://youtu.be/kzJ5HiX4uvk

Yep, sure was.