Thy Geekdom Come Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 My little brother is in big trouble. First I ask for prayers. Then for advice. Here is the background: 1. My little brother is a violent, raging person with ADHD and no sense of reason. 2. My parents are out of town, enjoying an anniversary vacation in NYC. Bad combination. I went to the grocery store last night with my older brother. While I was away, my little brother left to go somewhere (this is a regular occurance and up until now hasn't caused serious trouble). We returned, didn't even realize he was gone (his car was here and he usually hides himself in the basement to watch Family Guy reruns). At 2:30 in the morning, his friend's mother rings the doorbell and asks if I've seen her son. Well, this is just great... So I realize that he is not at home. I call him on his cell phone, no answer (he claims it doesn't ring after midnight), so I leave him a message. He calls back a few minutes later and says that he's at a friend's house (another troublemaker) with the kid watching Matrix: Revolutions. I tell him to get home immediately; he shows up 45 minutes later (5 minute drive). In the meantime, there is some macho punk down the street who threatened to kill my brother and dismantle his car (this mancho punk happens to be the owner of a huge customized truck and, perhaps out of a bit of a Napoleon complex, he feels the need to threaten others to stay on top). My brother is trying to get a restraining order. My parents called this morning and asked what was going on. I told them about everything and they forbade him from going out again. Well, he screams a bunch of obscenities at me and leaves with his friends. Meanwhile, the house is a mess and my parents expect it to be clean when they return. My little brother (and my big brother, for that matter) never do any chores unless as a last resort to ward off nagging parents. So now I've got to deal with cleaning the house, keeping my little brother safe, even though he'd spit on my grave right now, and a bunch of other you all know what. What do I do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
socalscout Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 What do you think you should do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted July 10, 2004 Author Share Posted July 10, 2004 Well, the only way I can keep him in the house is to beat him up. That's not going to happen. I'm not the type. Of course, I'm praying, but I'm the one in charge of everything; I need to do some work to get him under control. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cantstopdancin9 Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 1. Calm down. 2. Pray on it. 3. Start cleaning the house. 4. TRY and talk it out with your brother and explain how you want to make sure he's safe. 5. Pray some more. eh, that's all I got. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmotherofpirl Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 His life is more important than the housework. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted July 10, 2004 Author Share Posted July 10, 2004 Yes, well, I'm trying to calm down (unfortunately, I'm a bit of a hot head who never takes it out physically)... I am praying. I would be cleaning, but circumstances... I tried to explain to him, but he's a kid who thinks that anyone who's trying to protect him is trying to limit his freedom...couple that with his anger and irrationale...he doesn't listen to protest, not even in whispers...he does one of those Dr. Evil "zip it" routines or he just yells [enter random string of obscenities here]...if he sees me praying, he scoffs and even makes fun of my prayers... I do need to pray more... ...so frustrating... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeraMaria Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 If we all lived closer you'd have a bunch of PMers there to help in an instant. I agree with cmom...but as to HOW I don't know..., I am the eldest and with my brothers the "Mom and Dad will punish you" thing still works, but obviously ur brother is past that stage... I am praying right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted July 10, 2004 Author Share Posted July 10, 2004 [quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='Jul 10 2004, 01:34 PM'] His life is more important than the housework. [/quote] The housework is the least of the trouble. I can do that alone, but it adds to the frustration. The trouble is that he could easily get himself killed if he keeps behaving like this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
socalscout Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 [quote name='Raphael' date='Jul 10 2004, 11:30 AM'] Well, the only way I can keep him in the house is to beat him up. That's not going to happen. I'm not the type. Of course, I'm praying, but I'm the one in charge of everything; I need to do some work to get him under control. [/quote] Go with your heart. I don't know your parents but I would want my son to ask for my advice in this case even if I am on vacation. Call them and tell them your situation. If you can't do that then do the responsible thing even if it smells of elderberries. I know with the parents gone it is play time but it sounds like you have to become the "parent" so the only thing I can suggest is to do what you think your parents would want. How old are you and your brother? Don't beat him up. If you cannot keep him there and no one can help then you might be better served to call the police if you think his life is in danger. That would be last resort stuff though. If all else fails, clean the house and do what's best for you. There is only so much a sibling can do other than pray. Your sense of responsibility is admirable and would make any parent proud. Good luck, I'll say one for you guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted July 10, 2004 Author Share Posted July 10, 2004 [quote name='socalscout' date='Jul 10 2004, 01:41 PM'] Go with your heart. I don't know your parents but I would want my son to ask for my advice in this case even if I am on vacation. Call them and tell them your situation. If you can't do that then do the responsible thing even if it smells of elderberries. I know with the parents gone it is play time but it sounds like you have to become the "parent" so the only thing I can suggest is to do what you think your parents would want. How old are you and your brother? Don't beat him up. If you cannot keep him there and no one can help then you might be better served to call the police if you think his life is in danger. That would be last resort stuff though. If all else fails, clean the house and do what's best for you. There is only so much a sibling can do other than pray. Your sense of responsibility is admirable and would make any parent proud. Good luck, I'll say one for you guys. [/quote] LOL I can't call my parents, there at "The Producers" on Broadway as we type. As for partying with the parent's gone...no...no one is allowed in the house...that's my rule as well as my parents'. I wouldn't really beat him up, lol, I'm not the type. I'm 19 and he's 18. My older brother is 23, but either of us could beat him up if it came to it, and my little brother [i]is[/i] the type, plus my older brother lacks common sense, so he's worthless in this regard (I was [b]his[/b] babysitter when we were kids). Thanks for your prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daugher-of-Mary Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 Wow. Don't know what to tell you except call the cops if it comes to that. Know that you've got a bunch of phamily backing you up with prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
socalscout Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 [quote name='Raphael' date='Jul 10 2004, 11:46 AM'] LOL I can't call my parents, there at "The Producers" on Broadway as we type. As for partying with the parent's gone...no...no one is allowed in the house...that's my rule as well as my parents'. I wouldn't really beat him up, lol, I'm not the type. I'm 19 and he's 18. My older brother is 23, but either of us could beat him up if it came to it, and my little brother [i]is[/i] the type, plus my older brother lacks common sense, so he's worthless in this regard (I was [b]his[/b] babysitter when we were kids). Thanks for your prayers. [/quote] He's 18 huh? There is not much you can do. You can't call the police because he is an adult and can do whatever he wants unless of course he is breaking the law. You can't keep him there. You have no power over him like your parents i.e. Kick him out or deny him money, food etc. All you can be is an annoyance. Call a mentor like an aunt or uncle who has influence. If that does not work then just tend to yourself and pray. Don't beat yourself over this either. This really is not your responsibility even though he is your brother. I know that sounds harsh but he is an adult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cantstopdancin9 Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 [quote name='cmotherofpirl' date='Jul 10 2004, 01:34 PM'] His life is more important than the housework. [/quote] Cleaning usually helps me calm down and think so that's why I said that. You never know, sometimes it helps... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted July 10, 2004 Author Share Posted July 10, 2004 [quote name='socalscout' date='Jul 10 2004, 01:59 PM'] He's 18 huh? There is not much you can do. You can't call the police because he is an adult and can do whatever he wants unless of course he is breaking the law. You can't keep him there. You have no power over him like your parents i.e. Kick him out or deny him money, food etc. All you can be is an annoyance. Call a mentor like an aunt or uncle who has influence. If that does not work then just tend to yourself and pray. Don't beat yourself over this either. This really is not your responsibility even though he is your brother. I know that sounds harsh but he is an adult. [/quote] Haha...not in the state of Nebraska. The age of legal responsibility here is 19. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
socalscout Posted July 10, 2004 Share Posted July 10, 2004 [quote name='Raphael' date='Jul 10 2004, 12:16 PM'] Haha...not in the state of Nebraska. The age of legal responsibility here is 19. [/quote] Well that changes things. You do have a little more power. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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