Question about a past event

[Ite Ad Joseph]

Hi all,

Firstly, I want to say that I really enjoy the discussions about the Catholic faith and morality on these forums - they have provided me with really good insights into the Christian faith.

I have taken the time to now ask a pressing question that has been playing on my time. As we all do sometimes, memories of past events come into our minds. Sometimes (I am a little bit scrupulous), I am not sure whether or not I have to bring these sins to confession as I am not sure about whether or not the action was a mortal sin for me at the time (e.g. possibly due to lack of full knowledge). 

Recently, an event from a couple of years ago has been on my mind. I was having a conversation with a priest friend that I knew. He had just told me that he had heard a 'big confession' (he didn't reveal who the penitent was or the content of the confession).

At the time, I happened to know who the penitent was who had just come to confession and why they went to confession (it is a long story - I had found out through gossip around the parish).

After the priest said that he had heard a 'big confession', I foolishly said something along the lines of 'I know who it was that came to confession' or 'I know what it was about'.  I remember that the conversation stopped there, and the priest initiated a change in the topic. Would what I did be considered a grave sin?

Help would be much appreciated.

Thank you.

[Jaime]

Confession is nothing to joke about.  It sounds like You made your priest friend regret having the conversation with you.  Perhaps that is a better focus of atonement than whether or not you need to go to confession.  

[Didacus]

Now see where gossip has lead to?

It takes discipline to avert one's self from gossip... it takes effort.

Never catter to gossip, never hold it in your thoughts or your heart.

That is where i see a lesson here.

Edited September 16, 2021 by Didacus

[Winchester]

5 hours ago, Ite Ad Joseph said:

Hi all,

Firstly, I want to say that I really enjoy the discussions about the Catholic faith and morality on these forums - they have provided me with really good insights into the Christian faith.

I have taken the time to now ask a pressing question that has been playing on my time. As we all do sometimes, memories of past events come into our minds. Sometimes (I am a little bit scrupulous), I am not sure whether or not I have to bring these sins to confession as I am not sure about whether or not the action was a mortal sin for me at the time (e.g. possibly due to lack of full knowledge). 

Recently, an event from a couple of years ago has been on my mind. I was having a conversation with a priest friend that I knew. He had just told me that he had heard a 'big confession' (he didn't reveal who the penitent was or the content of the confession).

At the time, I happened to know who the penitent was who had just come to confession and why they went to confession (it is a long story - I had found out through gossip around the parish).

After the priest said that he had heard a 'big confession', I foolishly said something along the lines of 'I know who it was that came to confession' or 'I know what it was about'.  I remember that the conversation stopped there, and the priest initiated a change in the topic. Would what I did be considered a grave sin?

Help would be much appreciated.

Thank you.

Did you intend at the time to sin, did you know it to be a sin, and did you do it anyway?

Priests are sensitive about this because if they confirm that you can reveal the identity of the penitent, they are required by the Code of Canon Law to kill you immediately.

[Ash Wednesday]

6 hours ago, Ite Ad Joseph said:

After the priest said that he had heard a 'big confession', I foolishly said something along the lines of 'I know who it was that came to confession' or 'I know what it was about'.  I remember that the conversation stopped there, and the priest initiated a change in the topic. Would what I did be considered a grave sin?

If you had no intention of gossiping about the person's matters and it was just a conversation that turned unintentionally awkward, then I don't think any grave sin would be involved.

It is sinful to gossip about the matters of others, though, and we shouldn't entertain it. A grave sin would be something like detraction, where someone reveals something serious about another person and causes harm to their reputation. So it's best to avoid gossip because that can turn south really fast. 

[Jaime]

2 hours ago, Didacus said:

Now see where gossip has lead to?

It takes discipline to avert one's self from gossip... it takes effort.

Never catter to gossip, never hold it in your thoughts or your heart.

That is where i see a lesson here.

Never Catter to anything in my opinion. 

[Ite Ad Joseph]

1 hour ago, Ash Wednesday said:

If you had no intention of gossiping about the person's matters and it was just a conversation that turned unintentionally awkward, then I don't think any grave sin would be involved.

It is sinful to gossip about the matters of others, though, and we shouldn't entertain it. A grave sin would be something like detraction, where someone reveals something serious about another person and causes harm to their reputation. So it's best to avoid gossip because that can turn south really fast. 

Thank you for this reply - it was helpful.  
 

I don’t think I went in there with the intention to harm the person’s reputation - it was an off the cuff comment that was foolishly made to show that I knew something about someone (maybe out of pride).
 

When posting this thread, I was more so concerned about me saying something silly regarding the seal of confession (rather than gossip), but you have helped me understand what the issue was. 
 
I have definitely confessed both Gossip and Detraction since this Confession (however, never have I confessed or thought about this circumstance as it has only come to my mind recently). 

Moving forward, should I allow this to rest in the mercy of God and move on rather than dig it up in a future confession? 

[truthfinder]

33 minutes ago, Ite Ad Joseph said:

When posting this thread, I was more so concerned about me saying something silly regarding the seal of confession (rather than gossip), but you have helped me understand what the issue was. 

Breaking the seal of confession is more about telling the identity and sins of another that you have learn from their confession.  Either because one was the a.) priest, b.) translator, c.) overheard what was said.  From what you say, I don't think any of those was the case.  But it is certainly why your priest changed the topic quickly.

So as every one has point out already, certainly be careful about the gossip, but you do not appear to have come any where near breaking the seal of confession. But you priest turned the conversation to preserve his end of the seal of confession.  Hope this helps.

[Ite Ad Joseph]

55 minutes ago, truthfinder said:

Breaking the seal of confession is more about telling the identity and sins of another that you have learn from their confession.  Either because one was the a.) priest, b.) translator, c.) overheard what was said.  From what you say, I don't think any of those was the case.  But it is certainly why your priest changed the topic quickly.

So as every one has point out already, certainly be careful about the gossip, but you do not appear to have come any where near breaking the seal of confession. But you priest turned the conversation to preserve his end of the seal of confession.  Hope this helps.

Thank you for your reply - this is very helpful.

[ReasonableFaith]

By far any ‘near occasion of sin’ or any ‘breaking of the confessional seal’ was initiated by the priest.
 

Perhaps it has all brought some of the actions of the OP to light. The far more concerning actions are those of the priest not considering the potential repercussions of his off the cuff comment. If anyone in this situation has reparations to make it is the priest; he was foolish to mention any aspect of what he was privileged to hear in the context of the sacrament of reconciliation. 

[Ash Wednesday]

9 hours ago, Ite Ad Joseph said:

When posting this thread, I was more so concerned about me saying something silly regarding the seal of confession (rather than gossip), but you have helped me understand what the issue was. 

Truthfinder is correct. I don't think any harm was done related to the seal. I think as far as your conversation with the priest, it sounds like it was just a conversation that turned a little awkward -- extremely common when a situational topic just happens to come up but neither party actually intends to gossip. If you know that you didn't intend to cause any harm then turn the matter over to God and trust in His mercy.

Common recommendation for the scrupulous is to have a regular priest as your spiritual director and the same confessor to help you deal with your scruples.

[ZeroM]

The priest needs to shut his mouth.  It's on him, not you. 

I used to have a priest who would stray into the topic of people visiting him in confession as topics of homilies.  Spoke in generalities or whatever.  And I would be sitting there thinking, "what the hell are you talking about, and why is this being said to me."  I used to hope he was making it up as as a sort of parable.  Stopped me dead from ever wanting to go to him for confession.  I was afraid I would end up being the topic of his next homily.  

[Guest]

On 9/17/2021 at 5:05 AM, Winchester said:

Did you intend at the time to sin, did you know it to be a sin, and did you do it anyway?

One cannot commit a sin without knowing it is a sin at the time.

On 9/17/2021 at 8:13 AM, Ite Ad Joseph said:

Moving forward, should I allow this to rest in the mercy of God and move on rather than dig it up in a future confession? 

Either is a good move.   If you can be at Peace and move on leaving the matter to the Mercy of God, then do so.  I you cannot, then mention it in Confession and that it troubles your conscience.