Invalid Confession?

[vbscrupulous]

Hi! I am a cradle Catholic, but I only recently came back to the Church a few months ago after 7 years of being away. I am in the middle of my conversion (because I do think it is a process), but I am struggling with the thought that my recent confessions have not been valid. Please keep in mind, I have been diagnosed with OCD and have scrupulosity. I work with a Christian therapist, but I feel like I need a Catholic perspective on this.

Up until a couple of months ago, I had been living an extremely sinful life. I had a very powerful experience in confession (it was almost like a general confession, just considering the amount of time that had gone by since my last confession) and I truly felt the peace of God's mercy. But then I started thinking...at the time, there were a few habitual sins that I was, unfortunately, SURE that I would commit again, namely that I was having premarital sex with my boyfriend and had an IUD. At the time, I didn't feel good about those sins. I felt truly mired in sin, and I prayed that God would make me capable of resisting sin, and would provide me with His grace to help me move forward and start living my life as He intended me to live it. But, I really knew I would sin again. It don't think I had it exactly plotted out in my mind, but I just knew that I would see my bf the following Tuesday, and that I would be unable to resist sin. It was so habitual and I had been so de-sensitized by sin. I was completely lacking in grace. I also confessed to using contraception, in the form of the IUD, but not really for the IUD itself. And I only just recently made an appointment to have it removed. 

I have had a few confessions since this momentous confession. I still pray for God's grace, but I have fallen many times. I am in the middle of the struggle, and I feel much more capable of resisting sin than I did month's ago, but I just worry that because I knew I would sin again, and because I didn't right away make an appointment to get my IUD out, and because there were moments where I fell into old ways and continued to rely on that form of contraception, that maybe my confession(s) was/were invalid...

I have thought about doing a general confession, especially since I will be getting married next year, and I want to fully close out this sinful chapter in my life, and start the next in a state of grace, but people with OCD/scrupulosity are not typically encouraged to do general confessions. I wonder if my worries are coming from a genuine place, i.e. the genuine nudging of God on my heart, or if it is just scrupulosity and a lack of trust in God's mercy. Any thoughts are welcome! Thank you! 

[Ash Wednesday]

I would recommend getting regular guidance from a trustworthy priest -- a regular confessor. For what it's worth it's also the norm that marrying Catholics make a confession just before the wedding too. You'll be well covered. Heaven rejoices on your return to the Church. Call on God and trust in His Mercy. 

[StrivingForSanctity]

The general rule is, If you confessed knowing that you would commit the sin again, and did not have any true intention on stopping a particular sin - this would make it an invalid confession. One of the requirements for a confession to be valid, is to have a firm amendment to never sin again - and to carefully avoid the occasions of sin.


 

[truthfinder]

No, it’s confessing intending to sin again that would be invalid. Many many writings over the last several centuries urge people to confess even when they’re sure they’ll sin again as long as they have the intention of not sinning again. 

[vbscrupulous]

Yes, I was under the belief that a sincere desire to not sin again was enough. And in that moment, I truly did not want to sin anymore, even though I knew that I probably would, understanding my weakness and the habitual nature of my sins. Since this confession, grace has definitely been working in my life and I am making huge strides in chastity and have taken out the IUD. But I guess I just worry about the lack of avoiding the near occasions of sin (i.e. not having it removed immediately after the confession). But I am trying to trust in the fullness of God’s mercy, and what he can do with our imperfect human contrition and amendment. I’m also hoping to do a general confession before I get married so I can have full piece of mind before entering into marriage, as well as a clear path forward to fully closing out this sinful chapter in my life.

[StrivingForSanctity]

6 hours ago, vbscrupulous said:

Yes, I was under the belief that a sincere desire to not sin again was enough. And in that moment, I truly did not want to sin anymore, even though I knew that I probably would, understanding my weakness and the habitual nature of my sins. Since this confession, grace has definitely been working in my life and I am making huge strides in chastity and have taken out the IUD. But I guess I just worry about the lack of avoiding the near occasions of sin (i.e. not having it removed immediately after the confession). But I am trying to trust in the fullness of God’s mercy, and what he can do with our imperfect human contrition and amendment. I’m also hoping to do a general confession before I get married so I can have full piece of mind before entering into marriage, as well as a clear path forward to fully closing out this sinful chapter in my life.

If you had that true desire to not sin again, then it would be a valid confession . God bless!

[Shelby]

Hey, I want to give you this quote to remember. 

"Every Saint has a past, and every Sinner has a future." Keep that written somewhere.

Also, it's ok to go to confession once a month. I go, because I told one that it's a "spiritual shower". Next time at confession, listen for these words, "I absolve you from your sins" that is literally Jesus speaking to you.

I highly recommend going through "examination of conscience" every night when you go to bed. Make a list of the sins. Over time, you will gain a better conscience between right and wrong. 

Furthermore, I want you to look up Divine Mercy. In confession, you are forgiven of your sins, but still have to serve punishment in purgatory. However, Jesus told St. Faustina a wonderful grace for those who need mercy more.

This is called "Divine Mercy Novena", this is Jesus' mercy which forgives your punishment in purgatory. 

You can look up on youtube like, A Catholic Mom's life, "Divine Mercy Devotion -explained" She does a good job explaining it. 

Also there are tons of books summarizing it, including St Faustina's Diary, which you can walk in her shoes as she talks to Jesus.

hope this helps!

 

 

[PhuturePriest]

If we could not confess sins when we knew that, pragmatically, we will sin again and likely commit the very same sins again, then no one could ever go to confession. I desire and wish to the core of my being that I will never sin again -- but I know that I will. God is so good that even such a low bar as this is enough. If you desired not to commit those sins again, then that is enough. One does not zap away habitual sin with grace -- it is a process of gradually overcoming those sins with grace.

So rejoice! Heaven is rejoicing over you, and we are too. Always, always, always trust in God's loving mercy. As a person who has suffered from scrupulosity, here are a few guidelines that I have been given which did wonders: 1 Do not confess something unless you are absolutely certain it was a mortal sin, and not simply because you fear it was a mortal sin. In essence: when in doubt, do not confess it. 2 Do not re-confess sins even if you are afraid that some detail you left out before changes the whole nature of the sin (I promise you that it doesn't). 3 Trust, meditate upon, and hold onto the safe and secure knowledge that God is a loving Father. He is not a psychotic judge constantly trying to beaver dam you over a technicality. Often scrupulosity is rooted in OCD coupled with a false image of God. He loves you infinitely, bends his back over to save you in every possible way, and even died for you. Does that seem like the kind of God who is out to get you on a technicality?

I went to counseling with a very good lay Catholic and then a great priest for several years over scrupulosity. I struggled greatly with this fear: what if, when I am worried I committed a mortal sin and, in the desire to overcome scrupulosity I do not confess it, but it turns out that I am objectively wrong? The answer blew my mind: even then I would not be damned, because God knows that my intentions were to overcome scrupulosity and that I do not have perfect knowledge or understanding (especially because scrupulosity obscures our understanding). So even if you get something wrong on accident when determining you do not need to confess something, you can still lovingly trust in God's mercy and desire for your salvation. Again, God will not send you to eternal damnation on a technicality.

This is a page I have used many times when preparing for confession, and I strongly encourage you to use it. It has saved me from a lot of pain and heartache. https://www.fisheaters.com/scruples.html