Anxiety and doubts about religious life?

[Nunsuch]

8 hours ago, Antigonos said:

As you investigate Catholicism, you will discover that there are many paths to religious life, not all involve entering a convent.  Here on the forum, there are members in private vows but who live in secular life, Consecrated Virgins who don't appear obviously "religious" in daily life [but who are, intensely].  They are as devout as those in monastic life.

Therefore, your first step is to become thoroughly informed about Catholicism, and THEN, after conversion, if that happens, begin to investigate the different aspects of living as a Catholic.

There are also Oblates in the Benedictine tradition, Third Order Seculars (Carmelite, Franciscan, Dominican), and Associates in many active congregations of sisters. 

I agree with what so many here have said on two counts. You are putting the cart before the horse if consider religious life before becoming a Catholic. And much of what you say here sounds more like infatuation or romanticism, rather than true vocational call. Religious life, properly entered into, is a lifelong commitment, which requires deep discernment, seriousness of purpose, and love (different from infatuation). You may in fact end up there, but you are nowhere near ready to think seriously about the possibility.

[StThereseMaria]

34 minutes ago, Nunsuch said:

There are also Oblates in the Benedictine tradition, Third Order Seculars (Carmelite, Franciscan, Dominican), and Associates in many active congregations of sisters. 

I agree with what so many here have said on two counts. You are putting the cart before the horse if consider religious life before becoming a Catholic. And much of what you say here sounds more like infatuation or romanticism, rather than true vocational call. Religious life, properly entered into, is a lifelong commitment, which requires deep discernment, seriousness of purpose, and love (different from infatuation). You may in fact end up there, but you are nowhere near ready to think seriously about the possibility.

You’re right. I don’t wanna sound rude but how is what I said sound like romanticisation of a religious life? How do I know it’s a true vocational call?

[Nunsuch]

5 minutes ago, StThereseMaria said:

You’re right. I don’t wanna sound rude but how is what I said sound like romanticisation of a religious life? How do I know it’s a true vocational call?

You are romanticizing what it is all about, including the "perfection" of those called. You also seem to think that most religious receive visions and other highly unusual holy signs. They don't--and many of those who think they do are living under forms of delusion. Religious life, like anything worthwhile, is HARD, even for those truly called to it. [They same could be said for marriage.] That doesn't mean, by the way, that it isn't also joyful. But it is true joy--not giddiness.

How do you know if it is a true call? First, become a Catholic, and engage in serious spiritual practice for at least 2-3 years afterward. Ideally, find a spiritual director experienced in guiding people through discernment of religious life (ideally, a religious her/himself). Do some serious consideration of the range of forms that religious consecration may take, and receive guidance as to which, if any, is appropriate for you. Etc. Almost no calls involve Pauline "fall off the horse" moments, exciting as those may sound.

[profer_lumen_cæcis]

On 3/14/2021 at 5:30 PM, StThereseMaria said:

so... I'm 17 and i discovered that I have no desire for marriage/romantic relationship nor kids as well (I'm aromantic- I experience no romantic feelings and i discovered this when i was 15 as well. )  when i was 15 and things haven't changed ever since. I accepted the fact that I want to be single for the rest of my life and I'm pretty much happy about it :). However, one day, i was busy doing something and all of a sudden, the idea of a religious life popped into my head out of nowhere and i thought about it for a while and the thought went away. Fast forward, as I began to get closer to the Lord, the idea of religious life came to my mind AGAIN LOL! and now, i cant stop thinking about it . 

@StThereseMaria, so much wonderful advice has been posted to this thread! One thing I think might be worth adding:

After you convert to Catholicism, if you persevere in discerning a vocation, remember that a lack of romantic feelings and a desire to remain single do not in and of themselves necessarily point to a religious vocation. Romanticism, desire for family life, and want for children all, in varying degrees, are important aspects of a religious vocation. To become a nun is to choose Our Lord as your spouse--that is the very reason why many traditional orders still have the beautiful "wedding dress" clothing ceremony. Life in a monastery is very similar to family life, and one with a religious vocation must be willing to treat her Mother and Sisters as actual family. And a desire for children is extremely important--as a nun, you will have *many* spiritual children for whose souls you care very much: one of the pivotal aspects of religious life is prayer and penance for those who do not pray and perform penances themselves.

Often times I fear that people view religious life as an escape from family life, when in reality it is simply another form of family life. This is another area where a spiritual director would be helpful if, after your conversion, you still experience that desire to give yourself completely for Our Lord

 

Prayers for you on this special Feast of St. Joseph!

 

Edited March 19, 2021 by profer_lumen_cæcis

[StThereseMaria]

3 minutes ago, profer_lumen_cæcis said:

@StThereseMaria, so much wonderful advice has been posted to this thread! One thing I think might be worth adding:

After you convert to Catholicism, if you persevere in discerning a vocation, remember that a lack of romantic feelings and a desire to remain single do not in and of themselves necessarily point to a religious vocation. Romanticism, desire for family life, and want for children all, in varying degrees, are important aspects of a religious vocation. To become a nun is to choose Our Lord as your spouse--that is the very reason why many traditional orders still have the beautiful "wedding dress" clothing ceremony. Life in a monastery is very similar to family life, and one with a religious vocation must be willing to treat her Mother and Sisters as actual family. And a desire for children is extremely important--as a nun, you will have *many* spiritual children: one of the pivotal aspects of religious life is prayer and penance for those who do not pray and perform penances themselves.

Often times I fear that people view religious life as an escape from family life, when in reality it is simply another form of family life.

 

Prayers for you on this special Feast of St. Joseph!

 

thanks so much for the advice! If I may ask, why do you want to pursue a religious life? Where did you get the idea?

[profer_lumen_cæcis]

Just now, StThereseMaria said:

thanks so much for the advice! If I may ask, why do you want to pursue a religious life? Where did you get the idea?

Is it okay if I send you a direct message?

[StThereseMaria]

1 minute ago, profer_lumen_cæcis said:

Is it okay if I send you a direct message?

yh

[sr.christinaosf]

In looking over this thread, I was reminded of a discussion Myths and Misconceptions about Religious Life; it may be helpful here.

[gloriana35]

1 hour ago, sr.christinaosf said:

In looking over this thread, I was reminded of a discussion Myths and Misconceptions about Religious Life; it may be helpful here.

The link is broken.

[Anastasia]

Romantic feelings are good and can be very useful, being properly used. We have a term in the Eastern Orthodoxy, "a calling grace". It is well-known that after a person is baptized he feels like he has wings. Everything is very easy: severe fasting, go to the Liturgy to a distant monastery on the crack of dawn, standing in the church for three-four hours (Orthodox services, especially monastic, are that long), reading the Church fathers and so on. The neophyte cannot get enough of that and everything is sweet. This is a special grace which must be used for learning the basics, the discipline of prayer and fasting which will help a person to go on and to persevere when "the calling grace" will be taken away. And it will.

The same happens with many in monasteries. Initially they are literally flying there and everything is easy.

The same happens with the newly wed. They have a capital of a romantic love to build upon.

[truthfinder]

3 hours ago, gloriana35 said:

The link is broken.

This should work:

http://ndfranciscans.org/fiat/dispelling-myths-and-misconceptions

[Antigonos]

I'll never forget how, when I was a neophyte nursing student, bent on soothing fevered brows and dispensing TLC, how deflating it was to search for correct electrical sockets [my hospital had both AC and DC], clean cupboards, and endlessly stock them.

It's a truism that, for every combat soldier in an army, there are 12 support staff, from those who push paper, to mechanics, cooks, drivers, etc.  "They also serve".

[sr.christinaosf]

On 3/19/2021 at 4:37 PM, gloriana35 said:

The link is broken.

Oops - not sure what happened.

http://ndfranciscans.org/fiat/dispelling-myths-and-misconceptions