Fr. Ripperger on the roles of men and women within marriage

[Peace]

17 minutes ago, Nihil Obstat said:

In my family, I am happy to do quite a lot of the cooking. I am a decent cook, I enjoy doing it, and at the end of the day I am happy if my wife can spend more of her day engaged in quality time with our daughter, rather than chores. Plus if I do more cooking she asks me to clean less often.

She does all the baking though, and tracks the monthly expenditures, both of which I do not enjoy doing.

Come on man Canadians can't cook. What type of food ya'll have up there?

[Nihil Obstat]

Just poutine, pork rinds, back bacon, and maple syrup. We make it work somehow.

[Lilllabettt]

St Gianna Molla didn't have to work. She believed working as a physician was part of God's calling on her life. When her husband suggested she quit, she laughed. Now, saints aren't perfect, but her idea that her career was a means to sanctity was a pretty huge part of her charism and she died in this belief.  Idk nothing about Fr... but he's no Gianna Molla.  

[Machine_Washable]

5 hours ago, Peace said:

Come on man Canadians can't cook. What type of food ya'll have up there?

Ketchup chips 

[Nihil Obstat]

3 hours ago, Lilllabettt said:

St Gianna Molla didn't have to work. She believed working as a physician was part of God's calling on her life. When her husband suggested she quit, she laughed. Now, saints aren't perfect, but her idea that her career was a means to sanctity was a pretty huge part of her charism and she died in this belief.  Idk nothing about Fr... but he's no Gianna Molla.  

I do actually think Fr. Ripperger is a saintly man. Perfect, no. Infallible, no. I respectfully disagree with him on a handful of topics. But I believe there is serious holiness in his work and his preaching.

[Machine_Washable]

6 hours ago, Peace said:

He punched the doctor at the office because he was making passes at his wife. He had known about that from some earlier point in the movie. That was justified IMO because the doctor knew she was married.

As for the drama and manipulation, I call that even. She was clearly contemplating affections from other men. She was also cold as hell to him throughout the whole second half of the movie. No romantic affection at all, just nagging about his career choices and lack of professional ambition.

And give the guy some credit. This girl gets knocked up by a football player having sex in a public place, and when she decides not to have the abortion, Gosling steps in, marries her and agrees to raise a child that he knows probably isn't even his. He took her when she was at her lowest point, but then years later she feels like she is too good for him and dumps him.

Janet Jackson wrote a song about this:

 

He showed up at the doctor’s office drunk and was causing a scene before he knew the doctor was there. Ghayrah is good. He does not have that though. He doesn’t provide for his wife. Maybe he thought the doctor was coveting his wife. What did he do about it? Certainly not get a job so she wouldn’t have to work there! He was fine with her going there and working for the man until she left him in the hotel room and he wanted to show up and cause a scene. The movie pointed out that she had a father who was cruel and didn’t value his daughter. Then she had relations with the wrestler who was like her father. Finally she settled with her husband who was also bad but in a different way. There’s no intended hostility in these responses. It’s just interesting to see how different people can have such different impressions. 

Edited March 3, 2021 by Machine_Washable

[Lilllabettt]

16 minutes ago, Nihil Obstat said:

I do actually think Fr. Ripperger is a saintly man. Perfect, no. Infallible, no. I respectfully disagree with him on a handful of topics. But I believe there is serious holiness in his work and his preaching.

That may very well be true, but call me after he dies for his child. For my part I will admit being prejudiced against "celebrity " priests.  

[Nihil Obstat]

19 minutes ago, Lilllabettt said:

That may very well be true, but call me after he dies for his child. For my part I will admit being prejudiced against "celebrity " priests.  

Well God willing he will never have any to die for. 

That is one of the things I appreciate about him - he seems to avoid the spotlight. He does give conferences, but from what I have seen they are small and word-of-mouth. In the last few years they are quite rare as his time has primarily been occupied with establishing the Doloran Fathers, who are semi-contemplative and dedicated to spiritual warfare.

[Peace]

5 hours ago, Machine_Washable said:

He showed up at the doctor’s office drunk and was causing a scene before he knew the doctor was there. Ghayrah is good. He does not have that though. He doesn’t provide for his wife. Maybe he thought the doctor was coveting his wife. What did he do about it? Certainly not get a job so she wouldn’t have to work there! He was fine with her going there and working for the man until she left him in the hotel room and he wanted to show up and cause a scene. The movie pointed out that she had a father who was cruel and didn’t value his daughter. Then she had relations with the wrestler who was like her father. Finally she settled with her husband who was also bad but in a different way. There’s no intended hostility in these responses. It’s just interesting to see how different people can have such different impressions. 

It's her father's fault that she got knocked up by a wrestler in the teacher's lounge? I think you are giving her a free pass for her poor decision because you have been conditioned to believe women are sugar, spice, and everything nice. Everything must ultimately be the fault of a man. The wrestler is a jerk who had sex with her in the lounge because he was horny and had a lack of restraint. She on the other hand, is a saint come down from heaven, who was manipulated into sex by the evil man because "daddy was men to her."

Come on now.

Now the husband was not perfect. That's for sure. He had a legit booze problem that needed to be addressed. But not a "I get drunk and beat my wife and kids when I get home" sort of a booze problem. More of a "lazy drunk" I'm a chill on the couch and watch TV booze problem.

She had mentally checked out of the relationship way before the office scene near the end of the movie anyway. It was already over before that scene, which was brought in to give the movie a sort of "crescendo" if you will.

As you wrote, "He doesn't provide for his wife" and "Certainly not get a job" - are his main crimes in this movie. But that proves the basic point I wanted to make in my first post - that she left him because of his lack of career prospects and ambition. The point of my first post was that was that most women are not wired to be in a relationship where they are the primary provider, and that they will eventually come to resent the husband if he is not providing for the family financially. You basically agree with my point don't you?

5 hours ago, Lilllabettt said:

That may very well be true, but call me after he dies for his child. For my part I will admit being prejudiced against "celebrity " priests.  

I want to find this mythical priest whom you don't have an issue with! How are you doing?

Edited March 3, 2021 by Peace

[Ash Wednesday]

7 hours ago, Nihil Obstat said:

Well God willing he will never have any to die for. 

That is one of the things I appreciate about him - he seems to avoid the spotlight. He does give conferences, but from what I have seen they are small and word-of-mouth. In the last few years they are quite rare as his time has primarily been occupied with establishing the Doloran Fathers, who are semi-contemplative and dedicated to spiritual warfare.

One bit of advice of his that I have taken to heart is the need for Catholics to be careful about the things they discuss, especially online, and especially if they aren't sufficiently knowledgeable on the subject, such as when it comes to the nitty gritty involving the Catholic faith -- like theology, moral theology, etc. I know the fundamentals and am always learning about specifics or Church history, but generally it's why I try not to get roped into debates, unless I have a lot of time on my hands to use google and to refer someone to the correct information, find the right document, et cetera. I cringe hard when I think of the times in college I was the product of poor catechesis but thought myself to be knowledgeable.

What I like in particular about Father Ripperger is that he gives very specific reasons and theological explanations for the points he makes. 

Speaking of -- I ordered his deliverance prayer book for the laity but prior to this ordered the deliverance and exorcisms prayer book for priests on accident. If anyone knows any priests that could use the book, I will send it to them, free of charge. When I skimmed the book and came across the prayers for exorcisms and blessing meats, I realized I had the wrong book. 

[fides' Jack]

16 hours ago, Nihil Obstat said:

In my family, I am happy to do quite a lot of the cooking. I am a decent cook, I enjoy doing it, and at the end of the day I am happy if my wife can spend more of her day engaged in quality time with our daughter, rather than chores. Plus if I do more cooking she asks me to clean less often.

She does all the baking though, and tracks the monthly expenditures, both of which I do not enjoy doing.

Our situation is very similar to this.

10 hours ago, Lilllabettt said:

For my part I will admit being prejudiced against "celebrity " priests.  

In general, I strongly agree with this statement.  I don't like most other celebrity priests.  I guess Fr. Altman is sort of a celebrity now, and I do kinda like him.  And of course Fr. Ripperger.

You may already be aware of this, but Fr. Ripperger himself is of the same opinion.  He knows it applies to him now, but he didn't ask for it and it's not something he enjoys.  Maybe inwardly - only God truly knows his heart.  In general, he's also prejudiced against celebrity priests.

14 hours ago, Lilllabettt said:

St Gianna Molla didn't have to work. She believed working as a physician was part of God's calling on her life. When her husband suggested she quit, she laughed. Now, saints aren't perfect, but her idea that her career was a means to sanctity was a pretty huge part of her charism and she died in this belief.  Idk nothing about Fr... but he's no Gianna Molla.  

This is the single best argument I've heard of the other side of this argument.

But it's easy to say that there will always be specific instances in which God is calling different people to go against the grain - even the grain of established tradition.  So if you think God is calling you specifically to do something different, then you should follow your conscience, and I would even add that to act contrary to your conscience would also be sinful.

[fides' Jack]

20 hours ago, Peace said:

Specifically where did he say it though? In that video? At what timestamp? I didn't hear him say that.

What specifically is the sin? It ain't like you can open up the Baltimore Catechism and see a paragraph that says "It is a sin for a wife to work". Sorry but I'm gonna have to say you are blowing smoke here unless you have some documented proof from a valid magisterial source on that one.

I'll try to find one where he does say it.  And he gives his theological reasoning, which is entirely in line with Church teaching.  I thought it was this video, but like I said, there are several.

My guess is that there are old encyclicals that say the same thing, but I'll find some sources if I can.

Honestly, I was shocked when I first heard him say it, but he explained and it made a lot of sense.  He's changed my mind on several issues, that I can honestly now say that I'm more in line with Church teaching than I was, unknowingly, before.

[chrysostom]

Giving your own children your love and care is a grave obligation. Most especially in the earliest years, paying someone else to do your parenting for you by default, and treating them like problems you can throw money at is problematic to say the least.

A lot of people really do have this attitude and don't even try to figure out a better way.

That said, I am wary by default of throwing around "this is a mortal sin". You gotta be precise, and you gotta be careful of laying burdens on people.

[fides' Jack]

@9:20

And here Fr. Ripperger himself quotes a theological source, The Handbook of Moral Theology.

I highly recommend listening to the first 10 minutes.  After that it gets into theology into demons and binding prayers and psychology, which is interesting in itself, but not directly tied to this current discussion.

[fides' Jack]

16 minutes ago, chrysostom said:

That said, I am wary by default of throwing around "this is a mortal sin". You gotta be precise, and you gotta be careful of laying burdens on people.

I completely agree.  I wouldn't do it if I weren't entirely confident in saying so.

It's just that the truth is so incredibly counter-cultural right now that even traditional, conservative Catholics don't know the moral theology.

11 hours ago, Nihil Obstat said:

Well God willing he will never have any to die for. 

That is one of the things I appreciate about him - he seems to avoid the spotlight. He does give conferences, but from what I have seen they are small and word-of-mouth. In the last few years they are quite rare as his time has primarily been occupied with establishing the Doloran Fathers, who are semi-contemplative and dedicated to spiritual warfare.

I know, and it's frustrating!!  I live within 3 hours of him, and I would LOVE to go to one of his conferences, but have never heard of anything.  There was once that I heard he was giving a conference to women at a Church close to here.  But that was a women's conference, so... yeah.

My pastor and my spiritual director both know him, and they both consider him to be extremely solid, and have both reached out to him to understand specific matters better, themselves.