Paying for Spiritual Direction

[Louise bernadette]

Seeking advice on the issue of spiritual direction..

I have never paid for spiritual direction- my last director was a priest who is a family friend. Since having a new director in the past few months (also a priest) it has crossed my mind as to whether I should pay him or not? I am from Ireland and I dont know anyone here who pays their director (usually people have priests) but my new director is foreign and I wonder is it the etiquette to pay in other countries?

All advice appreciated! 

[SicutColumba]

Personally I’ve never heard of paying for spiritual direction if you’re going to a parish priest for consultation. But if you have doubts ask him what he expects. Maybe you could pay him in another way, with a meal or an errand or something. 

[gloriana35]

My own spiritual director (who is Anglican) was telling me once that he thinks it is a disgrace to charge anyone 'for the truth.'

Yet I was shocked by an Internet site for a Jesuit house, where there were steep fees for spiritual direction. Their explanation, since they mentioned receiving mail which (correctly!) said that this would make direction available only to the wealthy, was that 'Americans don't value anything unless it costs a lot of money.'  (I am wondering if the people they know are the rich, connected sorts of whom one reads in Andrew Greeley's novels... none of whom resemble anyone I've ever known.) 

I am not aware of schedules of fees for spiritual direction. I'm inclined to doubt he expects to be paid. (If he belongs to a religious Order, especially mendicant such as Franciscans, there may be some custom of a freewill offering to contribute to their work with the very poor.)

[Lea]

My Diocese's page on spiritual direction says very clearly that it is always free of charge. 

[Anastasia]

I am relieved to read the above because once, when I was looking online for the info about Catholic spiritual direction I came across several sites with the list of names together with fees. I was quite stunned because it is unthinkable concept in the Orthodox Church. Later, while I travelled, I asked a Jesuit priest (who directed me) what he thought about "the fees for a spiritual direction". He said he would never go to anyone who does such a thing.

[Guest]

Prior to finding my previous priest religious spiritual director, Jesuits quoted me either $30 or $50hour, I can't recall which.  My previous priest religious SD (now decd) categorically refused payment or even a donation.  He was an OMI Oblate of Mary Immaculate.

Simony: https://www.catholicculture.org/culture/library/dictionary/index.cfm?id=36482  I think charging for SD is a form of simony.  It is probably only splitting theological hairs which would dictate that it is not.  It is, I suspect, all a matter of personal opinion.  I don't really know.

Priests and religious are often gifted free of charge what others might have to pay for in The Church and fair enough.  It does amount to a form of income.

[GraceUk]

I think a donation might be the custom. Maybe not every time. Probably different Priests have different views on the matter. I think an hourly charge would put me off a bit. 

Edited February 14, 2021 by GraceUk
To add

[kg94]

I have never had to pay for spiritual direction and I have known a lot of spiritual directors who won't ask for payment. However, it is quite common to offer a stipend or donation every so often accordingly to what one can afford as a gesture of good will, though I don't believe this is an expected practice that they would necessarily expect from you to give. I just think it's a nice gesture to give back what I can in return for someone who has devoted themselves to helping you in such a special way as SD. 

[SicutColumba]

On 2/13/2021 at 2:52 PM, gloriana35 said:

Yet I was shocked by an Internet site for a Jesuit house, where there were steep fees for spiritual direction. Their explanation, since they mentioned receiving mail which (correctly!) said that this would make direction available only to the wealthy, was that 'Americans don't value anything unless it costs a lot of money.'

How horrifically cynical. 

I've only ever had parish priests as SDs and have never been asked to pay a cent. A church in my city has a priest available ten hours a day for consultation and they never ask for payment. 

[benedictaaugustine]

I don’t pay and payment was never discussed with my SD, howeverrr I usually bring a meal or dessert to give to him, and I give a Christmas gift with gift cards and such

[Harmony]

My spiritual director has fees, but it is a donation according to what one is able to pay. She is a career spiritual director who has had training and certification in spiritual direction and has been doing it for 30 years. 

[Lea]

5 hours ago, Harmony said:

My spiritual director has fees, but it is a donation according to what one is able to pay. She is a career spiritual director who has had training and certification in spiritual direction and has been doing it for 30 years. 

I'd assume that everyone offering spiritual direction has completed training in it? 

[Dymphna]

In my opinion, this depends on the circumstances of the spiritual director: Some are giving spiritual direction as part of their work (eg. parish priests)  - so they are getting paid for it by the church already (or it's part of their mission as members of a religious community). Others give spiritual direction as a volutunteer activity, they don't need to be paid. But there are also spiritual directors who are working freelance and have no other income - they need to earn money. I usually would also say that spiritual direction should be free of charge, but if someone needs to earn a living with it, I think it's better they charge than they give it up for other employment.