Vocation Reflections

[Swami Mommy]

I just saw this on a Carthusian Nuns FB page, and thought it was very interesting.

https://lookaside.fbsbx.com/file/Reflections on a vocation.pdf?token=AWzA97OBYi80xugX8zjuf7m-If8I1dqMTEGBR9w3iX1-roEQSwZU5yQUcQQUUJKtXG6aVfwi8PMETcD9sEzWGJ6FUXImUEoB6WsV_fc2TkbnWleYeYn8MwCPYqkc2CIg9-3UNSi4At70p-6Lhmf7S2PPzRvqWxn1RtEDxRhARqVg8g
 

Sorry. Don’t know how to delete this.  The link requires that you first log into FB.  I should have first saved the pdf to my files.  Oops!

Edited February 7, 2021 by Swami Mommy
Link is not accessible

[Suzanne]

I think I found it. I copied and pasted it.

 

Reflections on a vocation

1. How did you manage to make contact with a female Charterhouse? I decided to make contact with the Prior of the Charterhouse in my country, England, and I asked him for advice about joining the Carthusian Order. He was very kind and put me in touch with the Novice Mistress of a Charterhouse in France. Communication was not difficult because I already spoke some French but for more complex insights and questions an English speaking monk visited us from the Grande Chartreuse and an English speaking nun from the Society of St. Paul, who was a trained psychologist, also visited us to communicate with me.

2. Which Charterhouse did you prefer among the female ones? I had no preference because I did not know any of the Charterhouses or the communities, indeed I did not know that there were differences between the communities or the houses, I just trusted Divine Providence and accepted the direction given to me by the Prior of St Hugh’s Charterhouse who had met me personally and exchanged correspondence with me.

 

3. How did you understand that you are inclined to the cloistered lifestyle of the Carthusians? I had read all the books in the DLT series from the Carthusians: “They Speak by Silences”, “The Prayer of Love and Silence” etc. and something stirred deeply in my soul, an attraction, a whisper that said “I want you”. So to test the authenticity of this “movement” in my soul, I wrote first to the Prior of St Hugh’s and then after meeting with him and on his instruction I contacted the Novice Mistress in Reillanne, France. She wrote back to me inviting me to come and try the life for one week during my Christmas holidays (I was a teaching housemistress in a boarding school at the time). After this initial visit I was invited to return for a second visit during the Easter break. At this second visit it seemed clearer that God wanted me to leave all and follow Him into the desert because I had been asked to resign my position at the boarding school and given a substantial sum of money to do so! By the summer of that year I had sold my house and so was free of worldly attachments and financial obligations to join the community definitively, which I did so in August 1996.

 

4. How did you approach the idea of detaching yourself from your family? I had left home and the security of the family nest many, many years prior to joining the Carthusians at 34 years of age, so it was not difficult for me to detach myself from them, or for them to let me go. I had previously tried my vocation with the Sisters of St Joseph of Cluny and with the Cistercians of the Strict Observance, so this was just another step in my faith journey and discerning what God wanted of me.

 

5. How did your parents react? My parents were both delighted and yet also cautious. They had had previous experience of my “wanderings”, my searching for something profound and gripping that would absorb my whole self and satisfy me. Secretly, my father was very “proud” to think that a daughter of his would become a Carthusian, this is not a small thing, it is a big gift from God, such a call, so he was determined to pray for me and to support my journey but also open to the possibility that the road would be tough and that God may point another path out to me. My mother was more apprehensive, she was afraid that I would not find a community that would welcome me, but that I would possibly be hurt or damaged by the experience.

 

6. When the day of departure arrived, what happened? I hired a car and loaded it with all my books and other materials that I guessed the community could use, for example a computer and printer, bed linen, towels, statues, and clothes etc. I then drove myself the 1500+ Km to Reillanne, picking up a friend on the way, who had agreed to drive the car back for me. It took me 4 days in total, so I had a chance to view the countryside and to practice my French, and attune my ear to the accent.

 

7. Once in France, who welcomed you? I arrived at the Charterhouse in the afternoon and was immediately greeted by the Novice Mistress who was listening out for the sound of the car. She was a little astonished by all the books I had brought with me, but she obtained a small cart and after emptying the boot of the car and saying goodbye to the accompanying friend we loaded what we could and she showed me to the cell that I was to occupy for the next 12 months.

 

8. How did the Charterhouse appear to you as soon as you entered? I was astonished by the size of the cell. On my previous two visits I had remained in the guest house and only attended the liturgical services via the public chapel, remaining for the rest of the time in the room allotted to me, and not mixing with the community at all, just visited by the Novice Mistress each day for an hour chat, the rest of the time being spent in silence, reading and prayer, sleeping and eating. The Novice Mistress assured me that the size of the cell was necessary for the spirit to grow and expand, in total, the little house and garden occupied approx. 15x17 meters.

 

9. Who was the community made up of? There were 16 members of the community of which I was the youngest being 34 years old, while the oldest was in her 90’s. There was 1 novice (German) at that time, 1 postulant, a mature American lady who had already lived as a professed hermit for many years and during the 12 months I was there 1 other postulant (French in her 20’s) who joined and then left the community after a month or two. During the 12 months that I was there the foundress of the community died, I had the great privilege of sitting and praying with her in the hours before she entered her death agony. The community had in addition two priests and a lay brother who belonged to the order.

 

10.How did life in Charterhouse seem to you? It was bliss! I thought I had found heaven on earth. I was so happy. All the worries and cares that drape themselves round ones shoulder in life in the world, fell away from me, my spirit experienced a great freedom and sense of peace. During the year my soul also entered into interior silence, a silence in which the interior voice ceases and one becomes aware only of creation and God’s presence in His creation.

11.What discernment occurred during your stay? No musical instrument is used during the Divine Liturgy in the Charterhouse, the singing is not accompanied. But to practice the songs in cell, a manual instrument is made available to the nun. While practicing in cell, I experienced pure joy in singing, a joy that filled my heart and that I could hear in my voice. During a visit of the Mistress of Novices, I was asked about my experience during singing practice and asked precisely if I had felt any joy. I was a little surprised by her question because I hadn’t told her about it, as I considered it a very personal and private matter between me and God, but she was interested because she saw it as a sign of what God’s call was for me in the community. 12.What did you do and what didn't you do? I did most of my work in cell, since it was determined from the start that I would train to be a choir nun. I had to study French, so that I could better communicate with the other sisters; Latin, so that I could drink deeply from the liturgy; singing so that my voice would be properly trained; I also gardened, prepared wood for icon printing, sewed a work habit for the monk brother who was a member of the community, prepared vegetables, and translated a book for the visiting psychologist attached to the community. Once I helped the other postulant fold clothes in the laundry, but apart from the communal washing up of dishes and pots that took place every Sunday, I worked alone either in my cell or in other empty cells in the Charterhouse that needed the ministrations of a gardener, or cleaner or painter/plasterer/ decorator.

 

12.How far was the reality from life in the Charterhouse from how you imagined it? The life in the Charterhouse was exactly as I had imagined it, including the interior and exterior trials. Each day unfolded with a relaxed and easy rhythm, each week followed a predictable balanced pattern, each year was punctuated by the change in seasons and liturgical celebrations. My body adapted to the rigours of the diet and sleeping pattern very quickly as my levels of stress decreased rapidly, my hair grew thick and very long, my eyes gained a joy that shone from them, the excess weight fell from me. Little incidences gave birth to stories that taught me lessons and opened vistas in my mind. The bird tapping at the window during the winter asking for a morsel; the snake that emerged from under a rock that 5 minutes before hand I had been sitting on; the microlight that circled overhead it’s pilot snooping on our freedom under the summer sun; my removal of all the flower seedlings mistaking them for weeds; my blissful forgetfulness of the hour when I was expected to be in the utility room washing up dishes with the others.

 

13.How much did the silence frighten you? Silence has never frightened me, and the silence of the cell drew me on to a deeper and more sensitive silence, a listening of the heart that opened my mind to other interior and exterior worlds.

14.What about the night? How long did you sleep? I slept from 20.00 to midnight and then from 3.00 to 6.00, 7 hours in total. The second sleep was always more difficult for me, my mind was more awake after the hours of Gregorian chant, and I was advised to take a hot drink of milk and honey to aid my rest after returning to the cell, which helped enormously.

15.The balance of these twelve months? Every Sunday morning I joined the novice and other postulants in the noviciate with the Novice Mistress for spiritual sharing, a re-reading of the Sunday Gospel and sharing of the thoughts that it provoked; after Sunday lunch we also did the community washing up; each Monday afternoon I also accompanied them on their weekly walk/spaciment; and partook fully of the daily liturgical timetable and Sunday community meals, yearly outings (yes, with the exception of the very frail and ill sisters we all went out together in a minivan for a full day’s excursion and picnic) and quarterly recreations (a meeting of joy, games and sharing in the community recreation room all together, including the very elderly sisters). The only things I was excluded from were the weekly Chapter meetings and the regular daily work in obediences like the kitchen, laundry and guesthouse which the converse and donate sisters were engaged in; also I was not allowed to sing in choir, only follow the musical notation in the office books with my eyes and ears as the professed sisters sang.

 

16.Why did you return home? The year was given to me as a moment for discernment of what God wanted to do with me. After 11 months of bliss living as a choir nun, but not singing, (I can sing very beautifully with joy when the Holy Spirit takes over my voice, but ordinarily I am completely tone deaf and sound badly off key and so have no confidence singing), I tried the life of a donate sister with the community, sharing in the work of the converse and donate sisters in their obediences, specifically working for the cellarer in the preparatory kitchen. The change in timetable and routine opened me up to the huge sacrifice of giving up the more profound silence and solitude of the cell, and made me recognise that my pride at not being a choir sister was badly dented by the opportunity to grow in humility and practice being the servant of all as a donate sister. So after a further month,12 months in total, I was given the choice to return to the UK, accompanied by the American postulant who had finished three years of discernment, and in doing so to follow the advice of my Novice Mistress which was to pursue a change in career, moving from the world of education to medicine, in order to give myself the opportunity to meet someone who might become my husband; or to continue another three months with the community and then be clothed and formerly enter the noviciate as a novice with a view to eventually joining the then to be founded community in South Korea. I chose to return to the UK.

17.What did you miss the most? The absence of stress that the world raps us up in immediately we re-enter it, but which is absence in a life ordered to the glory of God, and a life lived solely for Him alone, in the welcoming security of a loving religious community. 18.What does your life consist of now? I am now married with two adult children and serious health issues of my own to cope with, so life is very different, but it is still a journey into the mystery of love which daily each of us is invited to engage in. 19.What would you recommend to the young women readers of Cartusialover attracted by the Carthusian vocation? Listen to your heart and “Don't be afraid”! The community is so lovely that it will help you hear God's voice, discern His will for you without any pressure. You will be amply rewarded if you go with an open heart to give everything and receive so much more. Thank you

[Swami Mommy]

Thanks for finding the article and copying it to share!

[Suzanne]

Of course! The FB group looks very interesting. 

[gloriana35]

I knew of the Carthusians (though I've never known any personally), and often wondered how they bore the stress of that life. It was warm and inspiring to read the beginnings of this - she seemed utterly joyous, in a life that most of us never could bear. It was the ending that I found sad. I expected this was an account by a happy, professed Carthusian - not one about a year's stay and leaving.

[chrysostom]

It sounds like it was a lovely, formative experience which helped the author find her way to God and find her place in life with a good measure of peace - which is a great grace and a blessing.

[Anastasia]

A very interesting read, thank you. But what is "a donate sister"? Is it a term for a non-enclosed?

[gloriana35]

I did not know what a 'donate sister' was, either. I was puzzled, as well, as to what had happened, and why superiors were telling the candidate to either switch from education to the medical field (and meet someone to marry), or enter and go to Korea. If she was given time to think over entering again and going to Korea, it would not have been that the superiors thought her unsuited to the life - and why tell someone to switch professional fields to look for a husband?