Communities that accept women previously in religious life

[FutOSBSis]

I am a young adult and have been in two different religious communities, and after some time I am searching for a religious community again. I am running in to dead ends in which communities will not even permit me to attend their virtual vocation retreat due to me previously being in religious life. Does anyone know of any communities that will consider women who have previously been in religious life? Thank you, and God bless.

[SicutColumba]

Hello! I am not too sure about this but I believe that in general, being in a community previously shouldn't preclude you from entering another community if a certain amount of time has passed and if the causes for leaving the first community have been addressed. Things could be a bit more complex depending on the reason why you entered and left two separate communities, but in itself prior entries are not impediments. If there is a community that interests you, it might not be a bad idea to contact the prioress and the mistress of novices to see if they would accept an applicant whose circumstances are similar to yours.  Explain as in depth as possible your situation, the reasons for leaving your former communities, and try to show them the ways in which you've grown and strengthened your faith since then. 

I couldn't recommend any particular communities to you because I don't think this should be an impediment in itself if you are upfront, honest, and communicating openly with a superior. 

[HollyDolly]

What kind of a community are you looking for and what kind did you join?  Now I have heard of sisters who may have belonged to an active community,ex.Daughters of Charity, and then after a number of years later on joined say the Benedictines and became a cloistered nun. But most of these cases invovle women who have been in religious life for a number of years however, and then joined other communities or even split off and founded their own community, like the Sisters of St.Joseph the Worker was formed  I understand by some  sisters of Charity of Nazerath,KY. Maybe a secular institue  might be the way to go, likeFoclare, Society of Our Lady of the Way or some other one.

[ReasonableFaith]

2 hours ago, FutOSBSis said:

Does anyone know of any communities that will consider women who have previously been in religious life?

As mentioned before, many if not most institutes may be open to receiving someone who was previously a member of another religious institute or in fact their own religious institute. It’ll all just depends on circumstances. 
 

Two prior communities may complicate the issue or perhaps not. Commonly the new institute would want to communicate with a prior community concerning the departure or dismissal as well as other relevant information. 
 

Often the question is formed ‘Have you  previously been a member of any religious institute?’ This would only have to be answered in the affirmative if one was formally received into the novitiate of said institute and thereby formally incorporated. Of course the question of previous involvement can be formed in several other ways. 
 

Good luck with your search. 

[PaxCordisJesu]

Are you looking for a community belonging to any particular order? I know your name is short for Future Benedictine Sister, but since you joined Phatmass a few years ago  (yes, I stalked your profile!) I thought you might be looking in another direction now.

[GraceUk]

I think it's a bit short sighted of these communities not to even let you join their retreat. And dare I say it a little bit mean.   Just keep calm and  things will move forward eventually.  Hope things work out for you. There are sisters who have started out in active orders and then decided tht life is not for them and gone on to join an enclosed community. Or perhaps they entered too young the first time. 

[FutOSBSis]

12 hours ago, PaxCordisJesu said:

Are you looking for a community belonging to any particular order? I know your name is short for Future Benedictine Sister, but since you joined Phatmass a few years ago  (yes, I stalked your profile!) I thought you might be looking in another direction now.

I was preparing to enter an active-contemplative Benedictine community at the time, you are correct I am not looking for a Benedictine community, specifically now.

11 hours ago, GraceUk said:

I think it's a bit short sighted of these communities not to even let you join their retreat. And dare I say it a little bit mean.   Just keep calm and  things will move forward eventually.  Hope things work out for you. There are sisters who have started out in active orders and then decided tht life is not for them and gone on to join an enclosed community. Or perhaps they entered too young the first time. 

 

14 hours ago, ReasonableFaith said:

As mentioned before, many if not most institutes may be open to receiving someone who was previously a member of another religious institute or in fact their own religious institute. It’ll all just depends on circumstances. 
 

Two prior communities may complicate the issue or perhaps not. Commonly the new institute would want to communicate with a prior community concerning the departure or dismissal as well as other relevant information. 
 

Often the question is formed ‘Have you  previously been a member of any religious institute?’ This would only have to be answered in the affirmative if one was formally received into the novitiate of said institute and thereby formally incorporated. Of course the question of previous involvement can be formed in several other ways. 
 

Good luck with your search. 

They seemed at first to be perfectly fine with me attending their vocation retreat, especially after it was my spiritual director who referred me to them, and even spoke to them. Then they went from being open during one phone call, and then completely closed to me discerning with them in the next phone call. I have a feeling they called my former community; the last one. I left peacefully, but I had reported abuse along with another member of the community with regards to our novice director, which ultimately ended up with the both of us being asked to leave rather then the abuse being dealt with by the Superior. Although, they were nice to my face during my departure, I know the last thing they want is for me to be able to become a nun. It's unfortunately a situation that is quite unjust, but I know that if God wants me to become a nun the evil one will not be able to prevent me from fulfilling a vocation to the religious life. So I will not give up despite this last community refusing to permit me to even sit in on their virtual vocation retreat.

[gloriana35]

16 hours ago, ReasonableFaith said:

Often the question is formed ‘Have you  previously been a member of any religious institute?’ This would only have to be answered in the affirmative if one was formally received into the novitiate of said institute and thereby formally incorporated.

Some applications will ask if you ever applied elsewhere and, if so, were you accepted. They may ask if you've been a postulant, novice, or professed religious in another community. If they ask 'have you been a member...?", answer in the affirmative, even if you were a postulant. 

Years ago, I was one of several people who sought entrance to a religious congregation - they ended up deciding to accept NO postulants until after their next chapter (which was more than a year away.) Those of us who had been seeking application were immediately sent for psychological tests, had interviews and visits, filled out extensive questionnaires, but were constantly reminded that this was not application - we only could formally apply were that offered to us. One of the group ended up making application to another community (and was accepted), but those in charge of formation in both congregations met at a conference. The applicant had listed no communities to which she had applied (since all of us were told, again and again, that none of what we went through constituted application.) The other community thought that the tests, questionnaires, etc, certainly constituted application, and they would not allow her to enter (which would have been a few weeks away) for giving false information on the application.

[FutOSBSis]

1 hour ago, gloriana35 said:

Some applications will ask if you ever applied elsewhere and, if so, were you accepted. They may ask if you've been a postulant, novice, or professed religious in another community. If they ask 'have you been a member...?", answer in the affirmative, even if you were a postulant. 

Years ago, I was one of several people who sought entrance to a religious congregation - they ended up deciding to accept NO postulants until after their next chapter (which was more than a year away.) Those of us who had been seeking application were immediately sent for psychological tests, had interviews and visits, filled out extensive questionnaires, but were constantly reminded that this was not application - we only could formally apply were that offered to us. One of the group ended up making application to another community (and was accepted), but those in charge of formation in both congregations met at a conference. The applicant had listed no communities to which she had applied (since all of us were told, again and again, that none of what we went through constituted application.) The other community thought that the tests, questionnaires, etc, certainly constituted application, and they would not allow her to enter (which would have been a few weeks away) for giving false information on the application.

Absolutely agree. one has to be completely honest. I let communities know my history when I first introduce myself this way if they have an issue with me already being in a community they will let me know right away instead of down the road when I am preparing for entrance. Better now than later. But in this case what was discouraging was originally they had no problem and even told my spiritual director such, then it was a problem. I mean just be honest from the beginning, I wouldn't have wasted my time or their time.

[JHFamily]

1 hour ago, FutOSBSis said:

But in this case what was discouraging was originally they had no problem and even told my spiritual director such, then it was a problem.

Maybe your spiritual director could call and scope out what the problem was. Perhaps they'll be a little more forthcoming with him than you, and he'll be able to shed a little light on things so that you are more successful in your discernment going forward.

[FutOSBSis]

1 hour ago, JHFamily said:

Maybe your spiritual director could call and scope out what the problem was. Perhaps they'll be a little more forthcoming with him than you, and he'll be able to shed a little light on things so that you are more successful in your discernment going forward.

The problem is my former community does not want me in religious life again because of them trying to cover up abuse. Myself and another young woman spoke out by speaking with the Mother Superior, and now there is retaliation. But my spiritual director is hopeful that he will be able to help me find a community that is outside of their "sphere of influence." I would appreciate the prayers, and thank you for your advice.

[GraceUk]

Accusing an individual or order of 'abuse' is a very  serious allegation.  Abuse can take a lot of different forms. Its a difficult  one  because you haven't said what kind of abuse it was and I wouldn't expect you to tell strangers in a forum. I think the best advice would be to listen to your spiritual director and do what they advise. 

Edited January 26, 2021 by GraceUk
For clarification

[FutOSBSis]

11 minutes ago, GraceUk said:

Accusing an individual or order of 'abuse' is a very  serious allegation.  Abuse can take a lot of different forms. Its a difficult  one  because you haven't said what kind of abuse it was and I wouldn't expect you to tell strangers in a forum. I think the best advice would be to listen to your spiritual director and do what they advise. 

Exactly, abuse can take many different forms. And you are right, it is a public forum, so I will not discuss the abuse. I do speak with my spiritual director, thank you.

Just now, FutOSBSis said:

Exactly, abuse can take many different forms. And you are right, it is a public forum, so I will not discuss the abuse. I do speak with my spiritual director, thank you.

but just so you are aware different types of abuse in religious orders does happen. And here is a website that shares the testimonies of young women who have been abused by nuns. https://conventreform.wordpress.com/ But anyway that's not why I started this topic. That is a whole other issue.

[ReasonableFaith]

3 hours ago, FutOSBSis said:

The problem is my former community does not want me in religious life again because of them trying to cover up abuse. Myself and another young woman spoke out by speaking with the Mother Superior, and now there is retaliation. But my spiritual director is hopeful that he will be able to help me find a community that is outside of their "sphere of influence." I would appreciate the prayers, and thank you for your advice.

These seem to be accusations of serious abuse and cover up, in which any attempts to interfere with a new community are also abusive. I hope these abuses have been reported in a detailed account to the ordinary of the diocese in which the novitiate is canonically erected, the supreme moderator of the institute, the Papal Nuncio, and the Congregation for the Institutes of Consecrated Life. 
 

I’m accordance with the website linked, reform does not come from silence. 

[FutOSBSis]

35 minutes ago, ReasonableFaith said:

These seem to be accusations of serious abuse and cover up, in which any attempts to interfere with a new community are also abusive. I hope these abuses have been reported in a detailed account to the ordinary of the diocese in which the novitiate is canonically erected, the supreme moderator of the institute, the Papal Nuncio, and the Congregation for the Institutes of Consecrated Life. 
 

I’m accordance with the website linked, reform does not come from silence. 

The first community I was in the abuse was reported by several of us former members, but the bishop asked us to leave it alone. I wanted to enter another community so I did not continue it further, but now a similar thing happened again, which is even more upsetting since the second community was aware of what happened in my former community, and then did almost the same thing to me again. And there is no proof my former community told this new community lies about me, that's the problem. But I know they did because how did the new community show such interest and then after a couple of days realize they could not take me even though they already knew I was in religious communities and now suddenly had a problem with that. We really need to pray for religious life, and I continue to pray each day for the young women who are still in communities and are abused and have no where to turn. God help us.

Just now, FutOSBSis said:

The first community I was in the abuse was reported by several of us former members, but the bishop asked us to leave it alone. I wanted to enter another community so I did not continue it further, but now a similar thing happened again, which is even more upsetting since the second community was aware of what happened in my former community, and then did almost the same thing to me again. And there is no proof my former community told this new community lies about me, that's the problem. But I know they did because how did the new community show such interest and then after a couple of days realize they could not take me even though they already knew I was in religious communities and now suddenly had a problem with that. We really need to pray for religious life, and I continue to pray each day for the young women who are still in communities and are abused and have no where to turn. God help us.

and the woman who began the website did so to create more awareness for what is going on in so many communities of women religious. Most of us when we begin discerning religious life have no idea about any of this, I know I had no clue until I experienced it myself. Because she has seen and so have I women who have completely left the faith because of the trauma experienced in religious life, and that is what inspired her to want to take action. There needs to be more awareness. We seem to be able to acknowledge abuse in the priesthood, but not so much in religious life. And honestly it's because of fear of retaliation that many of us do not want to speak out publicly, especially if we ever even want to attempt religious life again. We love the Church that is why we want others to know the truth. I mean I didn't even publicly ever mention my former community's name at all, and I wouldn't do that, and they still retaliated against me.