How Often To Contact a Vocation Director?

[SupposesRoses]

Hello all!

      I want to start off by saying thank y'all for this amesome community!  I'm relatively new to Phatmass (I made this account last week but I have been lurking for a long time) and already feel so welcome.

     How often should a discerner contact a VD of a community to let them know that they are still interested/still discerning?  I have contact with a community that I am hoping to apply to enter in a few years.  The thing is, though, this community's motherhouse is in a place that was hit pretty hard by COVID-19 and I don't want to be bothersome.  I have regularish contact with some of the Sisters who live in a priory of this community (the priory is a short drive from my home and some of the Sisters teach at my high school) and I have been super busy lately with summer assignments, a summer class, and a bunch of other stuff.  I believe the last time that I emailed her was almost 8 months ago, this VD gets a ton of emails and vocation inquiries all the time, so I don't want to be bothersome (especially because I have to wait until after college to [God willing] enter and I already emailed her a few times this past year).

   Thank y'all so much for making me feel so welcome here and for reading this post.  Praying for you all!

-SupposesRoses 

[TalithaKoum]

I absolutely know what you mean, and am excited to hear other people's responses to your questions as well. I actually took this question to my Spiritual Director. I had really loved a community right away and had reached out to inquire and see if a visit would be possible. But because of classes and now COVID, I have had to reschedule a trip a few times. Every time, I have found myself waiting for her to respond or to reach out to me. I didn't want to come off as too overbearing or pushy! I mean this could be my home and I didn't want that to be their first impression of me!!

However, my SD told me two things. The first was that my persistence is part of what makes me, me. And it is better for the community to see me for my entirety than a fake version of me. The second is that the VDs (my SD is the VD for his monastic community) want to see you reach out again. It shows both a level of commitment to your discernment and that the initial tug you had to contact that community in the first place had not gone away. 

I would recommend reaching out again! Maybe just a "Checking In" email to update her on your life and discernment. St Josemaria Escriva said "To begin is for everyone, to persevere is for saints"

God bless!

[JHFamily]

1 hour ago, SupposesRoses said:

I have contact with a community that I am hoping to apply to enter in a few years. 

This line really stood out to me. Given that you are speaking in terms of years for whatever reason you may have (and the VD should know this and why it will be so long), then I would say a couple of times a year is more than sufficient. The closer the time comes, however, (say 12-18 months out) the more you would naturally correspond with the community.  In the end, you may be very busy submitting paperwork and receiving written instruction from the community.

[GraceUk]

I agree with this last post. If it's going to be a few years until you enter no point in contacting them every month. At Easter and/or Christmas you could send them an e-mail wishing them a happy E or C and saying you are still interested,

[gloriana35]

I agree with JHFamily. When the priory you mentioned can have public services (or whatever contact with outsiders) after lockdown, there would be no reason to keep away, of course. But, even if someone intended to enter much sooner, every convent is impacted by COVID now - if you want to drop a note to the vocation director, I'd say to be brief, just sending blessings. They may be flooded with tasks! 

[SupposesRoses]

Hi all!

     Thank you so much for your super helpful responses!  I think I am going to just send the VD a quick email just to say hello and to maybe update her on my discernment.

     

22 hours ago, TalithaKoum said:

However, my SD told me two things. The first was that my persistence is part of what makes me, me. And it is better for the community to see me for my entirety than a fake version of me. The second is that the VDs (my SD is the VD for his monastic community) want to see you reach out again. It shows both a level of commitment to your discernment and that the initial tug you had to contact that community in the first place had not gone away. 

I would recommend reaching out again! Maybe just a "Checking In" email to update her on your life and discernment. St Josemaria Escriva said "To begin is for everyone, to persevere is for saints"

God bless!

Thank you so much for your advice and for sharing St. Josemaria Escriva's advice with me.  I am definitely going to need this in the next couple of years and am going to make it into a bookmark!  I also found your advice about being yourself to the community to be super helpful.  I was worried that I would seem needy or that I would bother them, so your message really gave me the courage to write that email.  Thank you so much!

 

22 hours ago, JHFamily said:

This line really stood out to me. Given that you are speaking in terms of years for whatever reason you may have (and the VD should know this and why it will be so long), then I would say a couple of times a year is more than sufficient. The closer the time comes, however, (say 12-18 months out) the more you would naturally correspond with the community.  In the end, you may be very busy submitting paperwork and receiving written instruction from the community.

 

14 hours ago, GraceUk said:

I agree with this last post. If it's going to be a few years until you enter no point in contacting them every month. At Easter and/or Christmas you could send them an e-mail wishing them a happy E or C and saying you are still interested,

 

11 hours ago, gloriana35 said:

I agree with JHFamily. When the priory you mentioned can have public services (or whatever contact with outsiders) after lockdown, there would be no reason to keep away, of course. But, even if someone intended to enter much sooner, every convent is impacted by COVID now - if you want to drop a note to the vocation director, I'd say to be brief, just sending blessings. They may be flooded with tasks! 

     Thank you JHFamily, GraceUk, and gloriana35 for y'all's advice about the brevity of my email.  I definitely don't want to swamp her!  Thank you also for telling me that it would be alright just to email her every once in a while.  I was worried that I had not been contacting her enough, but at the same time, I didn't want to be a bother.

 

Thank you all so much!

-SupposesRoses

[PaxCordisJesu]

I just found this thread 'cause I have the same question! I contacted the novice mistress of a community last fall to let her know I was interested, and also to ask if she had any book recommendations for discerners. I was hoping to visit them this summer, but between COVID and having to pay for college, it looks like it will neither be possible nor affordable. So, it looks like visiting has been put off until next Christmas or summer break. Since this won't happen for at least a year (most likely 1 1/2 years) when would be a decent time to contact Sister again and let her know I'm still interested in discerning with her community? I was thinking after Lent was over? I don't want to take up too much of her time by emailing too much, but I also don't want her to completely forget about me! 

[JHFamily]

If you are truly interested in entering, I think 3-4 times a year until you get closer to that time when you can actually make plans to visit.  Perhaps, each time you have a "life event", if you will.  "I just finished my Spring semester, and I did really well. One more year to go! ... looking forward to that time when I'll have an opportunity to visit."