immaculata Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 I'll try not to get into too many details here, but I recently went through a really messy break up with my best friend/almost boyfriend Matt. There was a huge blow-out over Prom, lots of drama, etc. Things are pretty much over between us now (except for the fact that we still work in the same building) but friendship-wise we're through. The hard thing is, I keep hearing stories from other people about things that he did without me knowing, or things his friends said about me, and it REALLY HURTS. Each time I hear stuff like this, it's like re-opening all those wounds I thought I was done with. I get angry with him all over again, even though I've tried to forget it and move on. Like, one of my friends mentioned today that she saw Matt and the girl that he took to Prom at Mass together the morning after the dance. They go to different parishes, and they were at a completely different parish than the one that either one normally goes to. Then I heard stories about how this girl has been trying to convince Matt that I'm 'not a good friend' and that 'Katrina should be able to control her emotions,' etc. It's little stuff like that that feels like a knife in my gut. I don't know how to make it NOT bother me. I mean, there's nothing I can do about it now. It's over and done with. But it still bugs me, and I'm the kind of person who tends to sit there and dwell and dwell on things like this. I'll try to keep myself distracted and forget about it, but half the time it doesn't work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 awww Immaculata I feel for ya, I really do. I went through somewhat of the same thing last fall. My best guy friend and I ended up dating, and we had known each other for over 8 yrs so I figured that I could trust him entirely. Well, he was baptist and he told his pastor and his aunt that I was Catholic, so they didn't think highly of me just on that note, and they began to fill his head with all kinds of doubts about me. They had never even met me either. Go figure. Well, a few months went by and one of my friends saw him with another girl, his ex girl friend actually. This girl had treated him horribly and he would always run to me for comfort. So it was terrible to find out that he had been cheating on me with her. So I called him up and asked him about what was going on. He told me the truth, and that was the end of that relationship. Not only did I lose a boyfriend but also a great best friend. So don't beat yourself up over it, it happens to the best of us Just having to shrug your shoulders and go on from there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thy Geekdom Come Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 I don't know what to say. I'm praying for you. Gossip, especially untrue gossip, is always a very difficult thing after a break up. I think it has no place. I never told anything about my ex (and there were LOTS of things I could have said) to anyone, but I remember getting blamed and insulted by others for it, so I know she was saying things. It's sad and it's difficult. Prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iacobus Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 "Woman can't live with them... Not so sure about the other part yet." ~NewRadio (a sitcom) Poeple are always going to be hard to deal with. Seeing as I havn't really had the same thing or anything near it happen to me, I am not sure what to say. Praying for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dlz7486 Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 Words are painful. They hurt so much, I know. Just pray for them - obviously they have nothing better to do than to make you feel bad. They must be pretty pathetic to stoop that low, just to make you feel worse. It may be hard to ignore it, but don't dwell on it. I know it hurts, but it will pass. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 [quote name='dlz7486' date='Jul 3 2004, 06:03 PM'] "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt [/quote] one of my fav. quotes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theculturewarrior Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 Here I come with unsolicited advice again (and this is probably absurd but) I wonder if it would be a good idea for every creepy alien here to swear off guys until she can at least take care of herself. (IE, get a college education, and then worry about guys. At some point, you will no longer have to worry about boys. They will hopefully have become men.) God bless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sojourner Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 [quote name='theculturewarrior' date='Jul 3 2004, 07:04 PM'] At some point, you will no longer have to worry about boys. They will hopefully have become men. [/quote] One would hope this would be the case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StColette Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 TCW I agree with you on some points. lol A girl or guy my first be able to take care of themself before they can try to have a substantial relationship. They should also be able to be happy without having to depend on a boyfriend or girlfriend. I've watched many of my friends make this mistake of depending on their boyfriends or girlfriends for happiness and when the relationship ended they were a complete mess. But they learn from their mistakes and move on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littleflower+JMJ Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 im praying for you immaculata!! just know that gossip is just wrong and distructive and if thats what got in the way (those meanies!! :shame: ), it will work out in the end later on...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 Keep your chin up. View this all in the big picture. Carry about your life and be kind to yourself. In the long run, these "friends" are no good -- and but a blink in the eye when it comes to your life ahead of you. If anyone has anything "of interest" to tell you, stop them before they start. Just put your hand up and say, "Sorry, I don't want to hear it." Moving on is hard, but you've got to do it. I hung out with some people in high school that proved to not really be true friends. So I left them and just did my own thing -- learned who I was, planned for my future, and never looked back. Even to this day I keep my chin up and I have nothing to say to them. I even drove by my ex-boyfriend walking down the street this afternoon and I just kept on driving and pretended not to see him. Revisiting the past achieves nothing. Remember, before too long you will be OUT of high school, and off to a new life, your REAL life. And let me tell you, it is SO much better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebirth flame Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 Immaculata... hi... i've never talked to you before, but i hope i can help somehow... see, i know exactly what yur goin through... (except i'm a guy, and a girl was doin all that to me... ) and i know that for a while, you're gonna feel like carp (not the fish mind you...). but know this much, immaculata... don't let him get to you. It's better that all this stuff came out now than further down the road when the effects could have been much much worse on either one/both of you. Just keep praying for strength and kindness to get you through this situation in your life. As some people have said, this won't last forever. you'll move on. It will hurt for a while, all the memories and feelings, but offer it up for your brothers and sisters in painful relationships that they can't get out of. Unite yourself to Christ in your suffering, that's what i try to do. No matter how you suffer you can unite it to Christ! don't be afraid to let Grace take the wheel! (she's not that bad a driver...) i hope that helped in some way... Take care, and may the Peace and Blessings of the Almighty Lord rest within your heart! i'm prayin for you and matt! ~nate p.s.: ohhhh... i really like this "don't be afraid to let Grace take the wheel! (she's not that bad a driver...)"! i'm gonna have to make it my signature! lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
immaculata Posted July 4, 2004 Author Share Posted July 4, 2004 You're right, I've just gotta blow it off and let the past stay in the past. 11 more months and I'll be out of high school and none of this will matter anymore!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmjtina Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 a great guy will come...... everything happens for a reason. Nothing is coincidence. The suffering you do now, offer it up for your future spouse and family. I'll be praying for you and Matt. much prayers and hugs to one of my crazy girls! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeraMaria Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 Prayers immaculata!! Don't know what else to say that hasn't been said already Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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