Parents have other plans for me....

[Gia Marie]

Hi all, I could really use some support & advice. I’m almost 20 (female) & have recently begun discerning religious life. I really have no desire for marriage & lately felt pretty called to religious life. The problem is my parents are extremely against it. Not only that, I’m their only child and they are devastated they won’t have grandchildren if I do enter religious life. Before discovering this pull towards religious life, I was pursuing the vocation I thought the Lord was calling me to, which was music. My parents beg me pretty much every day to continue doing my music. They say if I enter religious life, I’ll be wasting my life & talents, that I don’t care about them because I’m not providing for them, etc. it’s pretty much constant, and I’m at a loss for what to do at this point. They want me to pursue music, at least for a couple years, to provide at least a little bit for them (I’ll have student loans to pay off anyways). I don’t want to pursue music anymore because the Lord has fulfilled me in ways that chasing talents & dreams never did. I’m going to talk this over with my spiritual director, but does anybody have any advice? Do I listen to them (trying to be obedient!) and do some music, knowing full well I still want to enter the convent? Or do I just keep planning to enter the convent right out of college? How do I deal with their constant nagging AND, how do I respond as their only child if I can no longer take care of them (if I join the convent??) I love my parents dearly, and want to provide for them and I probably will be able to if I pursue music for a couple years. But I discerned this past year the Lord was not calling me to do music at this time. 

Advice & supports is incredibly appreciated. I’m very torn. Please pray for me. God bless ! 

[JHFamily]

One thing is for certain. When it comes to religious life, your parents have no business whatsoever dictating your choice. Right now, your parents do not rely on you, which would seem indicate that this is not an impediment, and if you enter, the care of your parents will be something you will have to figure out when the time comes. God provides when we need him to provide, not before.

I am assuming that you have not yet contacted any religious communities and have a couple of years of college under your belt.  I would continue with college while you are discerning communities. That may get you closer to graduation, or actually get you to graduation, then the whole conversation becomes moot. In addition, some communities desire for their candidates to have a degree. Then the whole question becomes a moot point.  Your spiritual director should be able to lead you from there.

This article will not help you, but it does emphasize that your problem is quite common: Vocations & The Elephant in the Room.

[Lea]

25 minutes ago, JHFamily said:

One thing is for certain. When it comes to religious life, your parents have no business whatsoever dictating your choice.

Hey Gia, I'm in a somewhat similar situation, have been discerning since I'm 20 and just turned 23. I'm not an only child, but due to certain circumstances this whole "grandchildren and caretaking" stuff is up on me in my parents opinion. 

Some advice I collected over time:

- sometimes parents grow to be more accepting when they see their child bloom 

- maybe your parents have got a twisted image of RL (which might be the reason why they think entering in a convent meant wasting your life and talents) 

- my SD told me that in many cases the relationship between children and parents change in the child's early twenties, so you and your parents might see each other pretty differently in a few years from now.

- "God usually doesn't call to interrupt one's studies" is what I once heard from a vocation director. If you go on to get your degree this gives you not only better chances to enter as @JHFamily pointed out, but also if you discern out of religious life. 

- Last but not least another piece of advice from my former SD: "The Lord gets you where He wants you. And if you take a few detours in advance, that's completely fine. He can and will wait." Please stand firm in your faith and take your time to mature and let Him work in your heart (and probably your parents hearts as well). Good luck!   

[Swami Mommy]

For what they’re worth, here are my comments and suggestions:

1.  Finish your degree. Life holds many surprises along the way and you may need to fall back on your degree for a way to earn an income if a religious vocation doesn’t work out somewhere down the line. Your parents are right on this point.

2.  Find a job for a year or two after graduation to build up your career credentials, (you have to pay off those school debts before you can enter, anyways!), especially if you are planning on entering an apostolic community that must work outside the convent walls to support itself. You will be more easily marketable to the community with a solid resume. If you are hoping to enter a cloistered community, still take the time to spend a couple of years in the world exploring what it feels like to be a self-sufficient adult. Make sure that your desire to enter a convent right out of school does not have an underlying component of fear of facing the big, impersonal world that you will have to sink or swim in with no emotional or financial support. The world of work will teach you SOOO many things about yourself that you can take with you into the convent to ease your transition into community living. It’s not easy living with strangers, even nice ones you will come to love as sisters, so a little more maturation beforehand and feeling fully anchored in your own personal sense of self will never go to waste.

3.  Try a little dating for awhile (if anyone asks!), just on a casual level, to examine your reactions to one-on-one relationships. It’s important to explore and understand your gut reaction of not being interested in marriage. Make sure that you’re not harboring any subconscious concerns about possibly not being romantically attractive to others (if you cut them off before they reject you first, then you don’t have to wonder if it’s YOU, not them). Figure out what particular aspects that you aren’t ‘drawn to’ about married life are unique to marriage alone, because many core aspects of daily communal living will have the same components as married life. If you do not feel drawn to sexual intimacy, what comes to mind when you think about having sex?  Are your ambivalent feelings borne of core, inculturated beliefs, are they physical feelings of aversion, are they fears of vulnerability and/or inexperience, or are they romantic notions of noble self-sacrifice?  Explore those psychological aspects with someone trained to listen for unspoken nuances.  If you have no desire to bear children and raise wonderful human beings, that’s something interesting to explore too, considering that Mary surrendered her will to God when she got pregnant, and ended up giving birth to the Son of God! Explore your psyche as though YOU are the lab specimen, so that you truly understand the choices you make and WHY you are making them. While heartfelt spiritual impulses are fine, take the time and make the effort to intellectually understand them as well so you aren’t blindsided ten years down the road when you reach an unexpected crossroads and feel drawn to reassess your life and where you are going. Lay a strong psychological foundation for whichever life path you select.

4.  Understand that if you are truly ready to choose a religious vocation, as a MATURE adult you will feel deeply rooted in your choice and no amount of persuasion or dissatisfaction from your parents will shake you from your convictions. It is not your job to care for your parents in their old age (though I can appreciate their concerns)—it is THEIR responsibility to plan for their own futures without expecting you to sacrifice your life on their behalf.  They should be saving up to be able to afford a nursing home level of care, if such a future need arises.  You were not born on this earth simply to provide them with easy access to a nursemaid!  And as for giving your parents grandchildren, your mom and dad are presuming that 1) you will find someone who wants to marry you,  2) you will be fertile, 3) you will be able to carry a baby to term and 4) the baby will live.  Those are all four big ‘if’s’ that may or may not happen.  Even if you submit to your parents’ wishes, you may end up remaining single for the rest of your life, despite your best efforts to fall in love with someone who YOU want to marry and who wants to marry you, so grandchildren may still not be in their future! Life is a crapshoot. There are no guarantees.

5.  Finally, remember that time is on your side. You do not need to ‘launch’ yourself into your chosen life path immediately, however strong your desires may feel. Follow your inclinations, watch for subtle clues in opportunities that arise or in unexpected coicindences, be willing to try and fail, and remember that there are no wrong choices in life—just different lessons attached to them that will teach you about who you ARE and who you are NOT, beyond the level of external circumstances. Metaphorically speaking, you are the SKY and the circumstances of your life, however they play out, are simply the passing clouds against the backdrop of that eternal part of you that was never born, will never die, and which remains unchanged and perfect, regardless of what happens.

 

Edited June 14, 2020 by Swami Mommy

[InCordeJesuEtMariae]

I’m praying for you and your family. When I was a nun in a Carmelite Monastery, there was a fellow Sister whose family was very opposed as well. The day she entered when she put the postulant clothing on and went to the parlor and her family was on the other side, they cried and left. Her father has still not visited her and doesn’t write her letters. Her mother and siblings do though but they still don’t like her choice. It’s been over five years. 
 

She professed her Solemn Vows about a year ago. When I was there she was as happy as can be and was always joyful in everything. Why? Because it was God’s Will and she was doing it. That is true joy. Pray to know His Will, get whatever guidance you need that God is pleased to send you to help discern, and follow where the Holy Spirit sends you. It’s in doing God’s Will that we will be truly happy and become holy. 

[Anastasia]

I will give a point of view which comes from being an Eastern Orthodox i.e. someone who (as all Orthodox) hold the monastic life in the highest esteem. If I was to answer your question twenty or ten years ago, I would say “leave everything and enter if you feel a calling”.

Yet now, after I have had some experience in the West in the relevant areas and also observed what is going on in monasteries just almost everywhere in the world (including my own motherland) I would say that there too many dangers for things to go wrong if one enters too soon, without some wisdom provided by a life experience and also without having any security of an alternative (like college degree, career etc). There are too many women who entered various communities and then were told to leave after years, sometime many years. This is a huge life drama on its own but if a woman has nothing else apart from the experience of religious life it can crush a person.

One also should have a very clear of what a life of a nun is supposed to be so she would be able to discern the places, seeing what is behind the facade.

I definitely advice you to finish your degree and to pursue music if you love it. Yes, God fulfills as nothing else does yet we are supposed to answer that fulfillment using talents given by Him. You can use music to glorify God no matter what happens later. Meanwhile you can try (if you have not done it yet) to have a rule (prayers etc) which is big enough to give you some taste of what the Office in the monastery would be. If you proceed with music and will not meet someone you may love you may in the future decide about the monastery or to discern that your vocation is being consecrated woman in the world. As such, you will always be able to serve God via your music in a very direct way – in the churches and so on.

All the above said without giving consideration to your parents’ selfish statement about grandchildren. Such statements are painful and unreasonable. No one can use this argument. No one can demand someone to have children because they “wanted grandchildren”.

Yet, if they are simply afraid to be separated from you forever then I can understand this feeling, especially since you are the only child. It is pity they add other things which are much less reasonable and guilt-inducing.

[nikita92]

 

Greetings Gia Marie!

First of all...I am pretty sure that my input will not be as well versed as most other others on here. Lol

My perspective is this- as a parent, I do not EXPECT my daughter to support me as I continue to age; nor do I want to burden my daughter with my life and all it does and will entail! I am single and do not have any other family members other than her. She is married with two small children (that I adore) So, I will have to do everything on my own to the best of my abilities...until I am on my dead bed. 

 In my opinion, our children are meant to "Fly the coop"...leave the nest! 

Not remain ball and chained to their parents!

Their expectations are theirs alone! You are 20 and entitled to have your own life!

God has obviously blessed you with a vocation to the religious life with a gift/talent for music! (I may be rare in feeling this, but I could only wish that my own daughter was blessed with a vocation such as you have)

I concur with what Swami Mommy advised! Finish your degree!

Who says that your music has to stop, if you enter into a convent or monastery??!  Historically, music and the religious life, go hand in hand!

From singing nuns/sisters/priests, to female religious communities who help support their congregation by selling their music either electronically, or CD's. 

It will not be wasted inside the walls!!! 

Ask your spiritual director, about how to handle the "guilt trip" your parents are pressuring you with!  It may be innocent on their part..but none the less, that is still what it is. A guilt trip! 

So...you are a only child! That does not constitute the owness on you, to provide  them with grandchildren! 

You are NOT responsible for their perceived happiness!

Follow your own path! It is between only you and God, where/what you are feeling pulled towards! 

God Bless you! 

Edited June 15, 2020 by nikita92

[gloriana35]

I very much like Swami Mommy's comments.

Perhaps one who has never had children (a vowed celibate) should be careful about commenting - but parents need to accept the choices their adult children make. Your choices in life are your own. It isn't as if (as was true, years ago) you were looking to become an aspirant at 12, and needed parental permission. 

[Gia Marie]

On 6/14/2020 at 6:21 AM, JHFamily said:

One thing is for certain. When it comes to religious life, your parents have no business whatsoever dictating your choice. Right now, your parents do not rely on you, which would seem indicate that this is not an impediment, and if you enter, the care of your parents will be something you will have to figure out when the time comes. God provides when we need him to provide, not before.

I am assuming that you have not yet contacted any religious communities and have a couple of years of college under your belt.  I would continue with college while you are discerning communities. That may get you closer to graduation, or actually get you to graduation, then the whole conversation becomes moot. In addition, some communities desire for their candidates to have a degree. Then the whole question becomes a moot point.  Your spiritual director should be able to lead you from there.

This article will not help you, but it does emphasize that your problem is quite common: Vocations & The Elephant in the Room.

Thank you so much for your advice. I loved what you said; “God provides when we need Him to provide, not before.” I needed to hear that. God bless you!! 

On 6/14/2020 at 9:35 AM, Swami Mommy said:

For what they’re worth, here are my comments and suggestions:

1.  Finish your degree. Life holds many surprises along the way and you may need to fall back on your degree for a way to earn an income if a religious vocation doesn’t work out somewhere down the line. Your parents are right on this point.

2.  Find a job for a year or two after graduation to build up your career credentials, (you have to pay off those school debts before you can enter, anyways!), especially if you are planning on entering an apostolic community that must work outside the convent walls to support itself. You will be more easily marketable to the community with a solid resume. If you are hoping to enter a cloistered community, still take the time to spend a couple of years in the world exploring what it feels like to be a self-sufficient adult. Make sure that your desire to enter a convent right out of school does not have an underlying component of fear of facing the big, impersonal world that you will have to sink or swim in with no emotional or financial support. The world of work will teach you SOOO many things about yourself that you can take with you into the convent to ease your transition into community living. It’s not easy living with strangers, even nice ones you will come to love as sisters, so a little more maturation beforehand and feeling fully anchored in your own personal sense of self will never go to waste.

3.  Try a little dating for awhile (if anyone asks!), just on a casual level, to examine your reactions to one-on-one relationships. It’s important to explore and understand your gut reaction of not being interested in marriage. Make sure that you’re not harboring any subconscious concerns about possibly not being romantically attractive to others (if you cut them off before they reject you first, then you don’t have to wonder if it’s YOU, not them). Figure out what particular aspects that you aren’t ‘drawn to’ about married life are unique to marriage alone, because many core aspects of daily communal living will have the same components as married life. If you do not feel drawn to sexual intimacy, what comes to mind when you think about having sex?  Are your ambivalent feelings borne of core, inculturated beliefs, are they physical feelings of aversion, are they fears of vulnerability and/or inexperience, or are they romantic notions of noble self-sacrifice?  Explore those psychological aspects with someone trained to listen for unspoken nuances.  If you have no desire to bear children and raise wonderful human beings, that’s something interesting to explore too, considering that Mary surrendered her will to God when she got pregnant, and ended up giving birth to the Son of God! Explore your psyche as though YOU are the lab specimen, so that you truly understand the choices you make and WHY you are making them. While heartfelt spiritual impulses are fine, take the time and make the effort to intellectually understand them as well so you aren’t blindsided ten years down the road when you reach an unexpected crossroads and feel drawn to reassess your life and where you are going. Lay a strong psychological foundation for whichever life path you select.

4.  Understand that if you are truly ready to choose a religious vocation, as a MATURE adult you will feel deeply rooted in your choice and no amount of persuasion or dissatisfaction from your parents will shake you from your convictions. It is not your job to care for your parents in their old age (though I can appreciate their concerns)—it is THEIR responsibility to plan for their own futures without expecting you to sacrifice your life on their behalf.  They should be saving up to be able to afford a nursing home level of care, if such a future need arises.  You were not born on this earth simply to provide them with easy access to a nursemaid!  And as for giving your parents grandchildren, your mom and dad are presuming that 1) you will find someone who wants to marry you,  2) you will be fertile, 3) you will be able to carry a baby to term and 4) the baby will live.  Those are all four big ‘if’s’ that may or may not happen.  Even if you submit to your parents’ wishes, you may end up remaining single for the rest of your life, despite your best efforts to fall in love with someone who YOU want to marry and who wants to marry you, so grandchildren may still not be in their future! Life is a crapshoot. There are no guarantees.

5.  Finally, remember that time is on your side. You do not need to ‘launch’ yourself into your chosen life path immediately, however strong your desires may feel. Follow your inclinations, watch for subtle clues in opportunities that arise or in unexpected coicindences, be willing to try and fail, and remember that there are no wrong choices in life—just different lessons attached to them that will teach you about who you ARE and who you are NOT, beyond the level of external circumstances. Metaphorically speaking, you are the SKY and the circumstances of your life, however they play out, are simply the passing clouds against the backdrop of that eternal part of you that was never born, will never die, and which remains unchanged and perfect, regardless of what happens.

 

Wow, this is incredible advice. I think you are totally right in finishing college first and maybe getting some experience out of college before committing to any order. I am praying on your advice. Thank you so much for taking the time to offer these wonderful suggestions! It is greatly appreciated!! Praying for you :)) 

On 6/14/2020 at 7:02 AM, Lea said:

Hey Gia, I'm in a somewhat similar situation, have been discerning since I'm 20 and just turned 23. I'm not an only child, but due to certain circumstances this whole "grandchildren and caretaking" stuff is up on me in my parents opinion. 

Some advice I collected over time:

- sometimes parents grow to be more accepting when they see their child bloom 

- maybe your parents have got a twisted image of RL (which might be the reason why they think entering in a convent meant wasting your life and talents) 

- my SD told me that in many cases the relationship between children and parents change in the child's early twenties, so you and your parents might see each other pretty differently in a few years from now.

- "God usually doesn't call to interrupt one's studies" is what I once heard from a vocation director. If you go on to get your degree this gives you not only better chances to enter as @JHFamily pointed out, but also if you discern out of religious life. 

- Last but not least another piece of advice from my former SD: "The Lord gets you where He wants you. And if you take a few detours in advance, that's completely fine. He can and will wait." Please stand firm in your faith and take your time to mature and let Him work in your heart (and probably your parents hearts as well). Good luck!   

I loved that last point so much! It can be hard to trust that He can truly use any and all situations for His plan. It truly takes great faith to be able to trust in Him completely like that! I pray someday I get there. I will pray for you and your discernment as well. Thank you for the kind reply and advice. God bless you  

On 6/15/2020 at 4:32 PM, nikita92 said:

 

Greetings Gia Marie!

First of all...I am pretty sure that my input will not be as well versed as most other others on here. Lol

My perspective is this- as a parent, I do not EXPECT my daughter to support me as I continue to age; nor do I want to burden my daughter with my life and all it does and will entail! I am single and do not have any other family members other than her. She is married with two small children (that I adore) So, I will have to do everything on my own to the best of my abilities...until I am on my dead bed. 

 In my opinion, our children are meant to "Fly the coop"...leave the nest! 

Not remain ball and chained to their parents!

Their expectations are theirs alone! You are 20 and entitled to have your own life!

God has obviously blessed you with a vocation to the religious life with a gift/talent for music! (I may be rare in feeling this, but I could only wish that my own daughter was blessed with a vocation such as you have)

I concur with what Swami Mommy advised! Finish your degree!

Who says that your music has to stop, if you enter into a convent or monastery??!  Historically, music and the religious life, go hand in hand!

From singing nuns/sisters/priests, to female religious communities who help support their congregation by selling their music either electronically, or CD's. 

It will not be wasted inside the walls!!! 

Ask your spiritual director, about how to handle the "guilt trip" your parents are pressuring you with!  It may be innocent on their part..but none the less, that is still what it is. A guilt trip! 

So...you are a only child! That does not constitute the owness on you, to provide  them with grandchildren! 

You are NOT responsible for their perceived happiness!

Follow your own path! It is between only you and God, where/what you are feeling pulled towards! 

God Bless you! 

This was so inspiring to read, especially from a parent! I guess I just feel guilty, as I am their only child and do feel like since they have provided & sacrificed so much for me, I should reciprocate that. That is what I have always believed I need to do for my parents. I would feel horrible not being able to take care of them, after everything they have done for me (my mom especially has made unbelievable sacrifices for me). But, I will continue to pray on it and ask the Lord to work in their hearts as well as mine. I really appreciate what you said about being able to use my music even if I am called to religious life. It’s good to remember that. Your response was so thoughtful and much needed. Especially when you said you wished your own daughter had such a vocation! That made me stop & realize that I should be thinking of this vocation as a blessing and a gift. Thank you so, so much for your response. God bless! 

10 hours ago, gloriana35 said:

I very much like Swami Mommy's comments.

Perhaps one who has never had children (a vowed celibate) should be careful about commenting - but parents need to accept the choices their adult children make. Your choices in life are your own. It isn't as if (as was true, years ago) you were looking to become an aspirant at 12, and needed parental permission. 

That is very true. Please pray for me, and I am praying for you! 

[Gia Marie]

On 6/14/2020 at 1:44 PM, InCordeJesuEtMariae said:

I’m praying for you and your family. When I was a nun in a Carmelite Monastery, there was a fellow Sister whose family was very opposed as well. The day she entered when she put the postulant clothing on and went to the parlor and her family was on the other side, they cried and left. Her father has still not visited her and doesn’t write her letters. Her mother and siblings do though but they still don’t like her choice. It’s been over five years. 
 

She professed her Solemn Vows about a year ago. When I was there she was as happy as can be and was always joyful in everything. Why? Because it was God’s Will and she was doing it. That is true joy. Pray to know His Will, get whatever guidance you need that God is pleased to send you to help discern, and follow where the Holy Spirit sends you. It’s in doing God’s Will that we will be truly happy and become holy. 

Wow, that is very inspiring to hear her story! I can’t imagine what that felt like though, she is truly a strong and holy woman. You are correct indeed; God alone makes us happy. We just need to trust Him as He only wants what is best for us. I wish I could trust Him more! Thank you for the advice. Prayers! :)) 

On 6/14/2020 at 11:21 PM, Anastasia said:

I will give a point of view which comes from being an Eastern Orthodox i.e. someone who (as all Orthodox) hold the monastic life in the highest esteem. If I was to answer your question twenty or ten years ago, I would say “leave everything and enter if you feel a calling”.

Yet now, after I have had some experience in the West in the relevant areas and also observed what is going on in monasteries just almost everywhere in the world (including my own motherland) I would say that there too many dangers for things to go wrong if one enters too soon, without some wisdom provided by a life experience and also without having any security of an alternative (like college degree, career etc). There are too many women who entered various communities and then were told to leave after years, sometime many years. This is a huge life drama on its own but if a woman has nothing else apart from the experience of religious life it can crush a person.

One also should have a very clear of what a life of a nun is supposed to be so she would be able to discern the places, seeing what is behind the facade.

I definitely advice you to finish your degree and to pursue music if you love it. Yes, God fulfills as nothing else does yet we are supposed to answer that fulfillment using talents given by Him. You can use music to glorify God no matter what happens later. Meanwhile you can try (if you have not done it yet) to have a rule (prayers etc) which is big enough to give you some taste of what the Office in the monastery would be. If you proceed with music and will not meet someone you may love you may in the future decide about the monastery or to discern that your vocation is being consecrated woman in the world. As such, you will always be able to serve God via your music in a very direct way – in the churches and so on.

All the above said without giving consideration to your parents’ selfish statement about grandchildren. Such statements are painful and unreasonable. No one can use this argument. No one can demand someone to have children because they “wanted grandchildren”.

Yet, if they are simply afraid to be separated from you forever then I can understand this feeling, especially since you are the only child. It is pity they add other things which are much less reasonable and guilt-inducing.

This was very solid advice. I really liked your idea about establishing my own “Rule.” I have begun thinking of that and am planning to start tomorrow. Thank you for that!! It is interesting to hear your perspective as an Eastern Orthodox. I feel I think the same way; the monastic life to me just seems like the highest form of devotion and holiness. I have to remind myself that all vocations are holy! But it can be hard to see that. You are correct in getting some experience before joining the convent. I think I have a lot of growth to go before joining, so I shouldn’t rush it. Thank you for your input. It is greatly appreciated. God bless you! 

[nikita92]

Wow!

What excellent advice/perspectives everyone contributed! This is what "Vocation Station" is all about! ;-)

Gia! I would like to THANK YOU for responding/commenting (positively) on each and every member's response!

While it isn't expected so to speak..it is refreshing to actually hear/read what the original poster took away from others experiences etc! 

We will hold you in our thoughts and prayers! ;0)

 

[Indwelling Trinity]

Perhaps  you might ask you parents if they have prayed and asked God what he wants for you and do they have the love to put his wishes above their own as much as they love you. 

These are dire times calling for much prayer and penance. Our world has wandered away from God. Even in many of the young vocations they want to give themselves. to God, but only within certain peramaters. I is.  almost like a premarital contract with some. 

We must be ready to sacrifice everything in order to gain. the union we long for with Christ. Yes, disceern carefully. But when you jump, let go... Frree fall into. God's arms. You will. Be so much happier. 

Laughing aas time goes on your vision will become keener and you will. See that. What you thought was. You most. Magnanimous gift to God of a clean. Break with everything. For love   of him was not. quite so. Clean.... You still need to become free of. Self. And there. Lies. The rest oof your religious. Life. Becoming. More. Free of. Self. So   as too. Love. God more. And. Alelse more purely in him including a healthy love of oneself. 

So here I lie with this stupid  Advanced MS ripping my body in every way imaginable, paralysis, vision, ergo. All my typos some days I can n longer recognize the simplest words mostly bedridden gone from Hermit in habit to Hermit in diapers being fed fluids in tubes feeling my intestines beingyanked out, deaf longing for  my mothers face staring at. The TV tears in abundance begging God's Mercy on all who suffer seeing not racism as the problem but Satan and demonsfightiing together for the soul of this world. Fatima fulfilled Rosary.. DIVINE MERCY.  I DON'T A. REALLY KNOW IF I AM FULFIIIILLING MY VOCATION OR I HAVE FAILED. IIAM A  CHILD  HALF MISSIONARY OF CHARITY HALF CARMELITE HERMIT,  I am a sinner  for sure but I deeply believe he dwells within the very core of my being. And it is there that I find my joy! 

 

Please I ask all of your prayers. 

Tenderly in Jesus, 

Indwelling Trinity

 

[Antigonos]

You certainly have mine. 

I think you are a tower of strength, IT.

[Anastasia]

Indwelling Trinity

Thought about your suffering and will pray more.

[gloriana35]

I was deeply moved by the post from Incoming Trinity. However, those particular ideas would make many people shudder - indeed, seem morbid. (My own parents would have reacted in that manner, I'm sure. ) I believe you would need to be prudent in repeating such ideas. It could make your parents all the more opposed. (My parents were Italian - believers, indeed, and my mother quite devout, though not of an ethnic group which hopes for children to become religious. They did not oppose me, but I already had my MA - in 'my day,' those in their late 20s were 'late vocations.' Some of my friends entered very young, and had exceedingly devout parents who praised their sacrifice.)  You're an adult - you not only need to make your own decisions, but may be worn to a frazzle if you try to speak of the points Incoming made, excellent though they are in themselves, and much as they show great spiritual maturity.

There was a very simple, sweet Sister in the convent where I lived - she always told people "I hope you become a saint." When my father met her on a visiting day, he commented to us afterwards, "Who wants to become a saint? They are all dead!" Perspectives can be very different between individuals.