What is "good mental health"?

[MaryBethany]

Hi all,

On pretty much every community website, one of the listed requirements is good physical and mental health. I wonder if any of you have an idea about what exactly that means. If you have mental health issues, some of them chronic, how far should you be in your recovery before entering?

Hoping to get some responses!

[Dymphna]

I think "what exactly that means" depends very much on the community.

Basically, religious communities are worried that someone with health issues (physical or mental) may become a burden for the community rather than an asset. And whatever your issues are, you would need to convince the community that you can live their life without needing much extra support because of your mental health.

In the US, this may concern finances (if you need medication), but I think more important is that religious life can be pretty demanding. You would live together with women you haven't chosen (and some of whom may well have mental health issues of their own), and you would probably have lots of work and little free time. Starting out in religious life can be an especially turbulent time, because of the many changes in your way of life. You might not be able to use your usual coping methods, because access to eg. chocolate, the internet or supportive friends could be restricted.

Depending on the type of community, additional issues might arise: In an active community, every day might be different, with very little structure, so if you need your daily rituals this would be difficult. In a missionary/international community you might end up living with people from very different cultural backgrounds, which may make forming close relations difficult. In a contemplative community you would have lots of structure - but possibly long times of silence and solitude, where you'd be expected to fight your inner demons on your own.

These are the issues that come to my mind - and my guess at answering your question would be that you should be far enough in your recovery to be able to deal with them.

[Luigi]

FAIR WARNING: I'm no expert... but I have three aunts in religious life, and what I've heard them talk about are things like:

1. Maturity. Can you plan ahead? Can you meet deadlines? Can you live with the consequences of your actions? Are you a self-starter, or do you need someone always standing over your shoulder to tell you what to do?

2. Interpersonal Relations. Can you get along well with others? Not paranoid, not gossipy, not tending to blame other people. Also, if you have a complaint against someone, can you address it with the person? If another person has a complaint against you, can you talk it through without becoming angry or resentful? Can you forgive and forget or do you hold a grudge?

3. Consideration. Are you interested in other people (family, concerns, successes) or do you only want them to be interested in you? Do you clean up after yourself or do you leave a mess for the next person? Do you offer help when other people need it? Do you always have to get your own way, or can you "go along to get along"?

4. Emotional Stability. My three aunts have very different personalities in terms of being outgoing vs. quiet, introvert vs. extrovert, but they're all emotionally stable. In other words, basically friendly, positive, don't lose their temper, thoughtful of others, generous, and so forth.

5. Sense of Humor. This seems to be universal. Not that religious life is a comedy club, but a sense of humor shows that you don't take yourself in an overly serious way, that you can defuse tense situations, and so forth.

My categories aren't very clearly defined, and I might not have the right examples in the right category, but you get my point.

I think what a community would consider "poor mental health" would be things like ADD (unable to stick with a task until it's complete), overly talkative, self-centered/selfish, emotionally needy, resentful/angry, paranoid, lazy, inconsiderate, and things like that.

 

[MaryBethany]

Thank you for your responses, Dymphna and Luigi! It helps that you pointed out some specific points to consider. I suppose it indeed depends on the (type of) community. I know and have experienced that religious life can be quite demanding. I guess I'm afraid that I'll be immediately disqualified because of my mental health or that I won't be able to live the life. I'm trying to trust the Lord and His guidance. Whatever He wants for me, I should have the capability to do...

[Kayte Postle]

As others have said it varies by community. I have some mental health issues which I take medication for. I’m always open with any community I speak to about it, and have had a considerable amount of doors closed because of my health. However if you really feel God is calling, don’t give up! I have been discerning for over 5 yrs and am thankful for every no I’ve received because it’s lead me to where I am today. I am discerning with a lovely community that knows of my health status and even would want me to continue treatment should I enter down the road. My advice is to be upfront about your status health wise, and the community God has in store for you will be willing to work with you. I’m willing to talk more about my own walk thru mental health struggles and discernment via PM if you’re interested. 

[gloriana35]

There have been other, insightful responses - and, certainly, the definition can vary according to community. But I would imagine one of the concerns would be whether one could live the community life (and, in some congregations, that may involve a packed schedule - no real time for one's self.)

I've known people (not in religious life) who had severe mental illnesses, such as schizophrenia, and I won't get into those heartbreaking symptoms. But, for example, if someone has depression, it can involve terrible insomnia. If someone has been up until 4 AM, it won't matter that she is trying to get  few hour's sleep just to get through the day - if Morning Prayer is at 5:30, and she is not there, it is 'disobedience.'

Those who essentially function well on medications may have bad spells - 'in the world,' this might mean needing a break of some kind, or needing to be alone till (for example) an anxiety attack passes. Some communities have a big schedule of common practises. Others might be going to rallies on Saturday. Not all communities really allow members time to themselves.

[nikita92]

Here is a past post from 2005 on that exact same topic!

it is found on page "375" 16 topics down from the top.

I am sharing this as I thought you might gain more insight (even though it was posted 15 years ago)

you can go there and read the replies if you wish.

"How healthy is healthy enough"

By FiatLux1860, July 20, 2005 in The Vocation Station

Posted July 20, 2005

So all the orders that I have inspected list "good physical and psychological health " as one of their requirements for entrance. What exactly does that entail? Does that mean that people with mental illnesses are automatically barred from religious life even if they're on medication?

[Dymphna]

12 hours ago, nikita92 said:

Here is a past post from 2005 on that exact same topic!

it is found on page "375" 16 topics down from the top.

Thanks for that!

Alternatively, you could just type the thread's subject "how healthy is healthy enough" into the search box up right here - it just came up for me as first/only result (without/with quotation marks).

[MaryBethany]

Thank you all for your replies! Food fir thought. I think eventually you'll only know for sure if you can live the life if you try, but I'll need to feel like I'm ready.