Can I Be A Bridesmaid In This Wedding?

[jessinoelw]

My friend is getting married next year. She has asked me to be one of her bridesmaids.

I am a convert to the Catholic Church. My friend has never been baptized and is not religious. Her fiance is a non-practicing Catholic who only attends Mass at Easter and Christmas because his parents make him go. They are living together and are sexually active.

I have urged my friend to take an NFP class. The diocese they are marrying in does not require an NFP class. Also, she tells me that they will always have to use condoms because she gave her fiance herpes from a cold sore.

I asked her why they were having a church wedding when they don't agree with Church teaching and her response was that "you don't have to agree with everything the Church teaches." His parents do not agree with Church teaching on birth control either and his mom had her tubes tied after she had him.

The priest didn't even ask them if they were living together because they are marrying in the parish that his maternal and paternal grandparents attend.

I am wondering a) what kind of marriage will they have (valid/natural/licit/etc.) and b) am I allowed to be a bridesmaid? Does the kind of marriage they will have affect whether or not I can be a bridesmaid? Is this a matter for my own conscience?

--Jessica

[BLAZEr]

I think you have to make your reservations about this marriage very clear. If you choose to be a bridesmaid you are, in effect, standing up and publicly stating your support for this union. If you don't believe that this union should happen, then I'm not sure it's wise for you to stand in their wedding.

This is a matter for your own conscience, but I suggest you speak with a good priest about this. I know a priest in Staten Island who has dealt with this issue before, if you want, PM me and I can give you his number if you need someone to talk to.