Signs

[BarbTherese]

This track came out on a Credence Clearwater Revival long play album.  It was either during or just after the Vietnam War.  I can't recall.  Gosh I laughed when I heard it and used to play it every time rules and regulations confused me......rather often then and now.  I would have been in my late twenties or early thirties I think.  I dont have my records from those days any more - I destroyed them, but another tale.

I have just been over on CA.  For me, and yes I freely confess, I am computer dummy.  I am going outside for a cigarette and coffee, prayer (not necessarily in that order at all).  What on earth is going on over there, are robots running the joint, I am not being nasty in the aforementioned but I am in this:, to me it is a crazy place - but that's ok I am not exactly a normal person.  No such thing as normal, only the most common.  I am fabulous, if you know what fabulous means in on sense and in non perverted real, dinky die English. I am trying to ward off a serious bipolar episode and I am now quite confused again and have a thumping headache.  I planned to have sleep today, as I did not sleep much last night.  First I got angry with CA, then high high tailed it back to here - and then I played Credence and I could laugh at it all.

But anyway, I wanted to share this track from Credence..........after coming back from CA, I had to play it from Youtube, so I could laugh and not take my experience over there so seriously, dissipate my anger........mind boggling madness to me.  And now it is too late for me to have a sleep.  No matter, hopefully I will have a good sleep tonight.

Gosh, it sure is good to be back on Pham again.  So very good!  Sanity again.

I said to someone who called here: "It is such a beautiful day and I am glad to be alive. Now watch some twit come along and stuff it all up"

 

"in on sense" should read in one sense.  A sign just told me I had run out of editing time.  Not much time allowed for editing to me.  I toid the sign that, but it just ignored me and would not reply.  Nothing.

[Guest]

Sorry guys.  I have to try and sort out my aching bipolar head after CA.

I think I might be blocked.  Whoever or whatever may have just woken up that over 10 years I was banned for life.  Everytime I tried to access CA a white page with big black letters stated 

BANNED FOR LIFE

Not saying how I got in again..........just now.  I really need a cigarette and coffee....and prayer.  I have statue of Our Lady in my pergola and I have surrounded it with flowers and various kinds of farm type animals. Where I sit, I can see the statue from there.

Last comment today I hope.  My head is such a mess, I can't figure out how to use my computer now and then and all I can thankfully do is laugh.

In my younger days we only had the music with great social messages, until The Beatles came out and spoilt it with "I wanna hold your hand".

We did not have videos or anything like it.......TV or the movies.  Initially, we had only the movies.  Later TV.  There was no such thing as MTV.

Which way is Turn Right please, for goodness sake please stand up..

 

[Guest]

When I came out the convent the first time.  Word got around I was home again and an old pal called in to see me.  He had a heavy chain around his neck with a beatle hanging from it.  I asked him what it was and he replied, you know the beatles.  He wasn't Catholic and just could hardly believe I did not know they existed.

Go into a convent after social message music and come out into the world again to a beatle singing "I want to hold your hand"  It was very confusing too back then too 

[Gary david]

19 hours ago, BarbaraTherese said:

Sorry guys.  I have to try and sort out my aching bipolar head after CA.

I think I might be blocked.  Whoever or whatever may have just woken up that over 10 years I was banned for life.  Everytime I tried to access CA a white page with big black letters stated 

BANNED FOR LIFE

Not saying how I got in again..........just now.  I really need a cigarette and coffee....and prayer.  I have statue of Our Lady in my pergola and I have surrounded it with flowers and various kinds of farm type animals. Where I sit, I can see the statue from there.

Last comment today I hope.  My head is such a mess, I can't figure out how to use my computer now and then and all I can thankfully do is laugh.

In my younger days we only had the music with great social messages, until The Beatles came out and spoilt it with "I wanna hold your hand".

We did not have videos or anything like it.......TV or the movies.  Initially, we had only the movies.  Later TV.  There was no such thing as MTV.

Which way is Turn Right please, for goodness sake please stand up..

 

Hi Barbara! Just stoping by to see how your doing. Hoping things are getting better. God bless Barbara, talk to you later ok.

[Guest]

Ok, thank you.

God bless

 

[islandanchoress]

 The last time I posted on CA, a while ago now, I got banned for a few days and accused of... BLASPHEMY!

All I did in the middle of a heated thread on the child abuse and other scandalous revelations here in Ireland was ask, " Why do people stay?" 

Blasphemy?

I think it is. given the Tuam and other mother and baby homes ongoing appalling situations, a valid question.

Facing these realities is very very hard and condemning anyone who is suffering doubt because of them?  I also got some very nasty responses.. NOT the way to win souls 

I go there and look occasionally but never signed in again. 

 

[Guest]

I am sorry to read you had this experience over on CA, Hi there IslandAnchoress.  Do you mind if I call you IA? I can't see how your question is blasphemy - in fact it wasn't.  I can really understand Catholics choosing to leave The Church because of the scandals nor do I blame them in the slightest. Being a practising Catholic I know that many Catholics really are not well educated in The Faith.  It is ok for me, I live alone and have the time and desire to learn all I can.  There are so many rules and regulations, twists and turns, that I think in the stressful age in which we live, Catholics give up on it all.  It is all too much for them out in this world having to deal with all they must deal with just to survive often.  Most have families and even jobs today are not secure as when I was in the workforce - I am now almost 74yrs of age.  They have mortgages to pay, run the family car which might be acting up, pay for school fees and Catholic fees are particularly expensive.  It is not cheap to be a Catholic.  Other expenses too.

  It reveals to me that our hierarchy are really out of touch with the ordinary everyday Catholic...........or perhaps they are, but do not know what to do about it.

  The scandals are terrible shocking indeed.  In fact, I cannot find the right words!  The thought of what has been done to little children is sickening and the lowest of crimes I think - how could they after the years of preparation and training they undergo before ordination.

Being an Australian, I think you might be referring to homes for children and run by religious.  I  don't know.  IA I do apologise.  I know the scandals in Ireland were indeed terrible, horrendous, but not much more than that - and don't feel I can comment on that particular subject, other than if in a general way it might, I hope, address some of your concerns anyway.

God bless your journey as I know He sure will - and may He bring you consolation and Hope......and soon.

Personally, I am not Catholic because of anyone whatsoever right up to Pope Francis (whom I really like).  I am Catholic because of Jesus and hope and pray I will remain so until called from this earth.  The Church has not been lilly white always in our history and with the scandals - not the first shock to ordinary Catholics in our history over 2000 odd years, I realise that anything can happen in The Church as the human institution functioning in the day to day.  It should NOT happen, but history and the scandals tells me that the potential at least is there.  I hope to be prepared and realistic myself, as much as I never ever even imagined I would reach such a stage as where I am now in my journey and relationship with The Church as very human but at the same time One, Holy and Catholic and the Mystical Body of Christ on earth.  His Bride, His Church, has been as it were raped by those who, for goodness sake, should and do know better and with the Grace, as have we all, to be better. Many priests all over the world dedicate their lives to God and are ordained into Holy Orders.  How could they!!! ???! do what they have done. I do not see how they can really believe in what Jesus has told us.   Do they believe in God even???!!!  Jesus has told the terrible fate of those who hurt His little ones.  I don't think they believe it because they do not believe in Jesus who is God and Fully Human.  Not only that, but by the revolting and appalling (lost for words again) sexual abuse of little children.  Poedaphilia priests. HORRIFIC!  And it does seem to me with the coverups by hierarchy that they do not really get it either.  I don't know, but perhaps it is only we parents with children who can really grasp what has been done to these darling little precious ones of Jesus.

What follows is the best video I could find anyway of why remain Catholic today.  I have put it into my signature on all emails:

Just found another one I have just watched.  It is not really for a lay person, somewhat perhaps.  I just hope priests watch it, not that I think it has much powerful punch - but what Bishop Barron is saying is true in my book.  I am going to write a bit after the video:

I have had in the past and not that distant past either and further back too, priests I have approached who seem disinterested in my problem, disconnected and disinterested in me and my problem.  I am a trained counsellor (before bipolar began) and we were told that if a client has a problem, then there really is a problem - even if we thought it was nothing really, then we would be very wrong.

We were called to the uniqueness and value of every client as an individual.  Any problem of theirs was truly a problem to be addressed............No, it was not Catholic training at all.  Not a religious organisation.  It was secular.  But that training was something I could integrate with my Catholicism and The Gospel, the Life of Jesus and how He would meet individuals.  Never once was anything directly religious mentioned in my training.

There have been times in a parish where religious and lay workers, so called 'pillars of The Church' did shock me with what was said to others.

One incident, I will never forget.  I was on the road as it were, not very well and broke.  I called in at a Catholic Church for Mass and got there early for a bit of prayer time.  In the foyer were a group of children making a heck of row.  Eventually I went to the foyer and asked them to be quiet because they were in presence of Jesus in The Blessed Sacrament.  When I returned to my seat, the racket got even worse, with a lot of laughter and calling out to me.  So up I get and down I head for the foyer and chased them all out.

Later, Mass had begun for a few minutes when a religious sister comes up to and says something like "If you upset my children again, I am calling the police"  I was used to that sort of thing by then.  

Another time in another Church while I am 'on the road', bikies had given me an old mattress which they put in an old dolls house out the back of their hangout.  The dolls house was against a fence over which was a chicken run and I used to call the doll house, the chicken house because it smelt strongly of chicken.  Anyway, one day I upset them and they said I had to leave.  One guy had compassion on me because it was Christmas Eve and dark and quite cold.  He gave me his leather jacket.  I left and in my walk to nowhere I ran across a Catholic Church and it was let's say half an hour before Midnight Mass.

I am sitting in The Church quietly in prayer when two mean came up to me let's say 15 mins before Midnight Mass. They told me I had to leave.  They would not give me a reason.  I told them I had no money and nowhere to go.  They said to come with them and they would pay for a taxi to take me to the city.  I think the leather jacket and me wearing jeans might have upset them.

I arrive in the city in the cab and made it to The Cathedral before Mass had  finished.  After Mass and I had known the priest who was the celebrant, I went round to the sacristy and Father opened the door.  I asked him to help me out because I had no money and nowhere to go.  Father gave me $20 and added "Barbara, don't spend it on alcohol, will you?" "No Father"........and off I went to the nearest pub.  I never had had a problem with alcohol, but I did like a drink now and then.  I had cigarettes and enough money to have a couple of drinks.  Where did I sleep that night?  I booked into a hotel with rooms and shot through in the early hours without paying.  I got the shock of my life at my brother's wedding that same Father that had helped me out on Christmas Eve celebrated their Nuptial Mass........and my brother and his wife to be had asked me to do a reading.  I had no idea my brother and indeed his fiance too knew the same priest as I did.  I spent most of the reception trying to avoid Father noticing me.  Don't know if I got away with it or not.  I did return the $20 to him years later, but he had no recall at all of having helped me out.

And more so called Catholic stories in my travels over 6 years - homeless, broke and often ill.

Another one is that I finally was allotted a government house in a very poor neighbourhood - but at last I had a roof over my head and one I could afford.  I was practising in that parish.  One morning, wanting to go to Mass but unsure if there was a Mass, I phoned the local convent where two religious sisters lived (won't say what religious order).  Sister answered the phone and I asked her if there was a Mass and at what time.  She replied "Do you mind, I was in the shower" and hung up on me.  I had by then become known as a sufferer of mental illness in the parish.  I really was very angry about it.  So finally, I ring the convent again.  Sister answers the phone and I said something like this "Sister, if Jesus returned and you were in the shower, you would tell Him "Do you mind, I was in the shower".  After all, Jesus has told us that whatsoever we do for even His least, we have done for Him" (therefore vv) I hung up before she could hang up on me.  At times I would see her jogging around the neighbourhood and in top shelf jogging gear.  Perhaps someone had bought it for her.  Not a good look, however.  Most of us were buying clothing in the local second hand store.  And anyway, by that time I did not like her after the "Do you mind, I was having a shower" incident.

I am a practising Catholic for no other reason than Jesus and His Mystical Body on earth.

 

I have been told more than once I should write a book.  There are very painful memories too that I have no wish- to return to.......and anyway I figure that if The Good Lord wants me to write a book, I will know it.  To date, I have no such awareness at all, not even the slightest.

Edited October 8, 2019 by BarbaraTherese

[Guest]

I must say this before I log out.  It is not the first time I have read on the internet a statement by an ex CA member that they have been banned and most unfairly.  And in reading what they have written anyway, it struck me as most unfair too.

With my banning for life quite some years ago now.  I deserved it in that I overstepped a cultural boundary I eventually realised.  I made insulting remarks that here in Australia would be water off the duck's back.  I did try to tell the moderators that I was very angry because some members were very upset by something a person (celibate) who should know better was stating and were contacting me via private message.  They were upset and asking were his statements true.  No, they were not true.  Absolutely no human being in Heaven, no matter how impressive the saint, could be more perfect than Mary, Mother of Jesus.  Nor could anyone remotely even be her equal.   For a start, Our Lady is conceived and born free of original sin and remained sinless all her life though she had free will like the rest of us.  Not only that, as a mother myself, I have no idea how she stayed with her Son as He died most cruelly on the cross.  I love my son dearly, more than dearly, I can't find the words. I would have passed out with grief. The strength and love of Mary for her Son leaves me speechless.  The anger I felt back then and the moderators attitude to me and then the banning for life triggered a bipolar episode.  But by and large I deserved the banning for life, because when the moderators would not do anything about the situation nor enter into discussion about it, I swore at them in a couple of our very best fine Aussie swear or cuss words.  I deserved to be banned for life.

Recently, more or less without saying I admitted or implied that I was indeed BarbaraTherese under another user name in a thread.  Later, I asked via private message about a mysterious problem I had with CA softwear.  I got a very nice PM back which was an indication that they did not know why themselves.  Although they did not tell me that directly.  Rather it was an implication in their very nice reply.  They asked me to contact them again if I had any more problems.  By then, and don't ask me what I did, I was able to post in the thread that kept telling me just OK but refusing to post what I had written.

So I am continuing now and then on CA.  I dont go there much at all.  But a post had particularly struck me and I wanted to respond.  Then the mystery problem occurred after I made one post and after a bit wanted to make another.  The thread meanwhile had continued to the posterr's satisfaction.  So I was happy too.

So for this time anyway, I seem to be ok with CA.  And good old Phatmass and our Boss just stun me that I am tolerated here.  God bless Phatmass and our Boss richly - they are doing a great job and most especially, but not only, in the Vocations Forum.  I figure if now and then I throw compliments like that around, our Boss might think "She aint that bad!"  At this point, I will say no more before I say too much and trip myself right into (I wont say what we Aussies call it) the muck and mire and kicked out the joint. 

[Guest]

4 hours ago, islandanchoress said:

 The last time I posted on CA, a while ago now, I got banned for a few days and accused of... BLASPHEMY!

All I did in the middle of a heated thread on the child abuse and other scandalous revelations here in Ireland was ask, " Why do people stay?" 

Blasphemy?

I think it is. given the Tuam and other mother and baby homes ongoing appalling situations, a valid question.

Facing these realities is very very hard and condemning anyone who is suffering doubt because of them?  I also got some very nasty responses.. NOT the way to win souls 

I go there and look occasionally but never signed in again. 

 

............oh hey, IA, I forgot to say a very big welcome to Phatmass.  Please do stay around as I am hoping you will. and will look forward to your threads and posts.  And again, I am indeed very sorry, overwhelmingly sorry, that you have experienced what you have in Ireland and from CA.

So far, dUSt owner of Phatmass and who pays all the bills with apparently not much help from us members, tolerates me.  He does not moan and groan about lack of donations, other than to communicate sometimes only that he really is scratching the bottom of the barrel to pay the bills.  Insofar as I am aware, he is married with children.

If anyone can correct me on anything in the above, it is most welcome.  The above is only what I have been able to glean here and there about dUSt...........or indeed anything else where I am off the beaten track and incorrect..  Everything will be most welcome to straighten me out............and good luck!

 

I must say this about the Credence Clearwater Revival track I posted previously and above.

Jesus said "Fools that can read the signs of the weather, but cannot read the signs of the times"  When I play the Credence track, that is what I am reminded of.

Now we can't even read the weather, over here in SthAussie anyway.  Forecast can be for fine mild day.  In the afternoon it can get cold and pour with rain.  The forecast over here is just a joke to us all.  But by and large, we have the best climate in Australia.

We can't read the weather accurately at times, and to my way of thought the signs of the times nowadays are a nonentity generally in society.

[Guest]

If I remember I will get around to how I, bipolar disorder me, read the signs of our times.  And as all over the place I might be to some or even all, I reckon I am spot on.

.......but then self praise is no recommendation.........except where I am concerned of course...........to me anyway......sometimes......not often.......just now and then......I like to take self praise on board and then hide it away until next time.

Log out time for me at 11pm.......bipolar episode bed time............that's my excuse and I plan to stick to it.

Night all wherever you might be in your day.

[penitent60]

Hi Barbara Therese! I almost tipped ff my chair when I saw you were referring to that old song which I loved by the way. It resonated with me....and the bit about chucking your music....you did that too. I did that in a really psychotic period of my life....it makes me sad to remember that. Incidentally, I lived in Glenelg and started school there a long time ago. I am agog at how to get banned for life on anything. I managed to be a token catholic on Baptist Forums for decades until I just couldn't be bothered anymore. Cultural norms are truly surprising ain't they. Found that out to be far more significant than I realised when I departed the Great Southern Land for the Land of the Long White Cloud.

[Guest]

2 hours ago, penitent60 said:

Hi Barbara Therese! I almost tipped ff my chair when I saw you were referring to that old song which I loved by the way. It resonated with me....and the bit about chucking your music....you did that too. I did that in a really psychotic period of my life....it makes me sad to remember that. Incidentally, I lived in Glenelg and started school there a long time ago. I am agog at how to get banned for life on anything. I managed to be a token catholic on Baptist Forums for decades until I just couldn't be bothered anymore. Cultural norms are truly surprising ain't they. Found that out to be far more significant than I realised when I departed the Great Southern Land for the Land of the Long White Cloud.

Hi there again P60 (hope you wont mind if I refer to you as P60).

I just wanted to duck in for a moment to thank you for the reply.  Yeah, I know Glenelg well, although I am in the North East of Adelaide..........but what Adelaide-ian does not know Glenelg well, huh?  Wonderful shopping still today, if on the expensive side to my pocket.  Great places to have lunch or just sit and have a coffee either inside or outside and within sight of the beach and just watch the river (of life) go by (and that is what Bob Dylan's Watching The River Flow meant to me). We do have so much in common, P60.  I don't have the time I would like to give to your post just now, but I will be coming back to it asap.

God bless you, P60, wherever you might be in your day and your journey..............Barb

I really intended to go away because I have visitors this afternoon, then forgot about them completely..........Couldn't find a decent version on youtube.  Back in the day, we all knew the lyrics of our pop songs by heart as they do today.  Dylan at the best of times singing can be difficult to understand what he is on about unless you know the lyrics.  Dylan was our go to for social comment pulling no punches and back in my early twenties. Lyrics are printed below the video

I used to love to sit in Rundle Mall when much younger with coffee and a smoke and just sit back and 'watch the river flow', the passing parade, which would always seem to me like people rushing around with nowhere really to go.  Back in those days I was writing a book and to write, I had to be out with people around me.  I can even remember the title of my book "How to Get it Together, Keep it together and laugh till you cry while your doing it". It was handwritten and in a manuscript folder.  I put it against my chair leg to have coffee and a smoke.  When I went to leave, it was gone.

Watching the River Flow

WRITTEN BY: BOB DYLAN

What’s the matter with me
I don’t have much to say
Daylight sneakin’ through the window
And I’m still in this all-night café
Walkin’ to and fro beneath the moon
Out to where the trucks are rollin’ slow
To sit down on this bank of sand
And watch the river flow

Wish I was back in the city
Instead of this old bank of sand
With the sun beating down over the chimney tops
And the one I love so close at hand
If I had wings and I could fly
I know where I would go
But right now I’ll just sit here so contentedly
And watch the river flow

People disagreeing on all just about everything, yeah
Makes you stop and all wonder why
Why only yesterday I saw somebody on the street
Who just couldn’t help but cry
Oh, this ol’ river keeps on rollin’, though
No matter what gets in the way and which way the wind does blow
And as long as it does I’ll just sit here
And watch the river flow

People disagreeing everywhere you look
Makes you wanna stop and read a book
Why only yesterday I saw somebody on the street
That was really shook
But this ol’ river keeps on rollin’, though
No matter what gets in the way and which way the wind does blow
And as long as it does I’ll just sit here
And watch the river flow

Watch the river flow
Watchin’ the river flow
Watchin’ the river flow
But I’ll sit down on this bank of sand
And watch the river flow

[Guest]

For all the lost between two shores.  For the lonely and for the confused.  For those looking for home........for all of us............

 

For all who might grieve for lost childhood long gone and the dreams of childhood unrealised.  For all who might grieve for what was.

 

Song of our Joy and thanksgiving - and our call to mission. 

In one Church I went to for Sunday Mass in another parish and suburb where I was then living, after Mass and singing this hymn as our recessional hymn, a little girl climbed up on a chair (about 4 or 5 years or so she must have been) and until The Church had almost emptied, she sang the chorus over and over again with arms outstretched to the departing people, every so often doing a little circle with arms outstretched still.  Mum was standing close by.