Changing tracks

[Julie de Sales]

I haven't posted on the phorum in forever, but I follow your vocation journeys and I'm happy to see how the Lord is working in your lives. :) I kindly ask for your prayers because even if I always thought I had a religious vocation, after being 2 years in a beautiful religious community I came to the conclusion after much prayer and spiritual direction that God doesn't want me there and it is not my calling. As hard as it was for me to accept this reality, leaving was easier that living a life that was not meant for me day in and day out as I was becoming utterly miserable. However, I find it hard to be in the world again and especially the fact of not having a job yet, I'm still searching. I also sometimes feel like the people around me judge me a little for having been in the convent and then left, as if it's a failure on my part. Even though I need the support of family and friends, I fantasize about moving to a far distant country where nobody knows me  I also struggle to maintain a good spiritual life and trusting that God still has a plan for my life, sometimes it doesn't make any sense...

[Sponsa-Christi]

I just have to say, I think it's really good when people here share their experiences of peacefully discerning out of religious life during formation. It helps make it seem more normal to people (and discerning out is normal--that's part of what a formation period is for.)

But even though you're of course not a failure, there's nothing wrong with wanting a fresh start in a new place after a big life change like this. Maybe this is God's way of calling you to a new adventure. 

[JHFamily]

You are not alone!  Leaving religious life is very hard, even when you know that's not where you belong.  There are a lot of emotions involved, humiliation being one of the most common.

Leonie's Longing was founded to minister to women who have left religious life.  Maybe heading over there, you may find the support you need.

[Guest]

4 hours ago, JHFamily said:

Leonie's Longing was founded to minister to women who have left religious life.  Maybe heading over there, you may find the support you need.

I have heard nothing but good comments about this website.  I thought of it too while reading your post.  Thank you for sharing your story.

 

7 hours ago, Julie de Sales said:

I came to the conclusion after much prayer and spiritual direction that God doesn't want me there and it is not my calling. As hard as it was for me to accept this reality, leaving was easier that living a life that was not meant for me day in and day out as I was becoming utterly miserable.

Be assured God is indeed calling you elsewhere.  May He continue to bless your ongoing discerning and grant you much consolation and Peace.  I do hope you will try Leonie's Longing website and I know God will bless that part of your continuing discernment journey.  

It is a painful time leaving religious life and facing the unknown on the return to the world.  Those who do not understand that the first 6 years or so up to final vows are the discerning years can make the return to secular life in obedience to God's indication far more painful than it need be.  There is so much hype around entering the life and the various stages that perhaps that is part of the problem in the discerning years when one discerns out.  We can be cruel and unkind to each other sometimes if we choose to be so.  There is nothing of failure in discerning out of the life, rather it takes tremendous courage and fortitude, strength of soul, to follow The Lord into a dark patch of the journey.

7 hours ago, Julie de Sales said:

I also struggle to maintain a good spiritual life and trusting that God still has a plan for my life, sometimes it doesn't make any sense.

When things are going as we hope and plan, Faith and spirituality comes easy.  It is when we enter times of struggle and confusion that we show our true mettle despite the doubts, the lack of sense in it all.  We can show The Lord we are in for the long haul and come what may.  It is the stuffing of holiness of saints in the making. I cannot think of a single saint who did not suffer, it is almost the criteria of holiness. "Take up your cross and follow Me".

Thank you again for sharing your story. Nothing lasts forever and this painful time will not either.  It will become a memory you chose to either share or not to share.  Sharing our stories can be cathartic for us and rather often a big help to others.

Do try Leonie's Longing website and I am hoping it will be a happy and rewarding choice.  I will be looking forward to your posts here on Phatmass and good to see you around again even at this difficult time for you.  I know you will find friends, support and encouragement here on Pham.

4 minutes ago, BarbaraTherese said:

I also struggle to maintain a good spiritual life

What indeed is a good spiritual life?  Please do not ask too much of yourself at this time.  I do hope you either have or will find sound spiritual support.  Your journey has not ended, just taken an unexpected turn, a new direction.

Edited September 12, 2019 by BarbaraTherese

[Guest]

7 hours ago, Sponsa-Christi said:

there's nothing wrong with wanting a fresh start in a new place after a big life change like this.

[Julie de Sales]

17 hours ago, BarbaraTherese said:

I have heard nothing but good comments about this website.  I thought of it too while reading your post.  Thank you for sharing your story.

 

Be assured God is indeed calling you elsewhere.  May He continue to bless your ongoing discerning and grant you much consolation and Peace.  I do hope you will try Leonie's Longing website and I know God will bless that part of your continuing discernment journey.  

It is a painful time leaving religious life and facing the unknown on the return to the world.  Those who do not understand that the first 6 years or so up to final vows are the discerning years can make the return to secular life in obedience to God's indication far more painful than it need be.  There is so much hype around entering the life and the various stages that perhaps that is part of the problem in the discerning years when one discerns out.  We can be cruel and unkind to each other sometimes if we choose to be so.  There is nothing of failure in discerning out of the life, rather it takes tremendous courage and fortitude, strength of soul, to follow The Lord into a dark patch of the journey.

When things are going as we hope and plan, Faith and spirituality comes easy.  It is when we enter times of struggle and confusion that we show our true mettle despite the doubts, the lack of sense in it all.  We can show The Lord we are in for the long haul and come what may.  It is the stuffing of holiness of saints in the making. I cannot think of a single saint who did not suffer, it is almost the criteria of holiness. "Take up your cross and follow Me".

Thank you again for sharing your story. Nothing lasts forever and this painful time will not either.  It will become a memory you chose to either share or not to share.  Sharing our stories can be cathartic for us and rather often a big help to others.

Do try Leonie's Longing website and I am hoping it will be a happy and rewarding choice.  I will be looking forward to your posts here on Phatmass and good to see you around again even at this difficult time for you.  I know you will find friends, support and encouragement here on Pham.

What indeed is a good spiritual life?  Please do not ask too much of yourself at this time.  I do hope you either have or will find sound spiritual support.  Your journey has not ended, just taken an unexpected turn, a new direction.

Dear BarbaraTherese,

Thank you for your kind words, I try to trust the Lord during this time, maybe the fact that I invested so much into this calling I believed was from God and now being faced with the reality makes me lose hope sometimes, but I'm also grateful He gave me peace and joy in coming back in the world and that confirms that I made the right decision. 

[Guest]

6 hours ago, Julie de Sales said:

I try to trust the Lord during this time, maybe the fact that I invested so much into this calling I believed was from God and now being faced with the reality makes me lose hope sometimes, but I'm also grateful He gave me peace and joy in coming back in the world and that confirms that I made the right decision.