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Update on My Discernment and Ponderings


AbigailGermaine

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AbigailGermaine

Thought it was time to post an update on my discernment. 

After a lot of time in prayer and study, I was led away from active life towards the cloister. I found a monastery within a couple of hours of my house and have been in correspondence with them for over a year, pretty constantly for 10 months. This summer I visited for two live ins  and was accepted into the Aspirancy Program. Therefore, I am insanely happy to announce that I am a Aspirant of St Joseph's Passionist Monastery. (Whitesville) :w00t:

I thought I would update you after my SD told me I was a classic case of discernment, in all its angst and simplicity.

Through the last months, I noticed an incredible peace and rest when pondering life with this community. I still haven't had a lightning bolt strike me, but I have felt a deep draw towards their charism, peace when at the monastery, and comfortable friendship with the sisters. Ignatius tells us to observe times so peace and consolation, and I have simply followed this practice under the guidance of the VD, my SD, parish priest and family. And St Gemma and St Therese.... :hehe2:

Since I've been home from my last visit, I have felt out of place and lonely, longing for my sisters and my monastery. I've been trying to push the limits of how many times you can start a sentence with "At St Joe's..." Dad laughed when I told him this and said it was yet another confirmation of my vocation, however lonely it make me feel. 

 

 I then thought that telling everyone on here the very commonplace tale of my discernment would encourage others who are living a similar discernment of combined angst, joy, and quiet meditation. 

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I'm so very glad for you. :) I'll keep you in my prayers.

Your story comes across as very angst-free, actually, and I think this is the sign of a sincere and seeking heart - just quietly following your inspirations and treading out a path. Angst involves going in circles, and never actually getting anywhere. You're on your road somewhere. God bless the journey!

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Thanks for sharing your discernment process.  I've visited the Passionists in Whitesville several times for lay retreats (Kentucky girl here), and I have found them to be a beautiful community.  I will definitely be praying for you as you continue your journey!

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Sister Leticia

Thank you for sharing your news - and congratulations on being accepted into taking this first step. As you are no doubt discovering, you have arrived in one place, but it's not the end - simply the beginning of a new phase of your adventure with God. I hope you enjoy the ride, with all its ups and downs, twists and turns - and times of utter simplicity and certainty, too. 

Prayers assured. 

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What you write sounds positive.  I wouldn't wait for a "lightning strike", if I were you.  I frankly mistrust them. A slow and steady progression is more stable.  A rabbi once told me, about another subject entirely, when I expressed a certain anxiety that I might be disappointed in something I'd wanted very much, "Have no expectations.  That way, when things happen, you will be open to them happening".  I've found that very useful. Trying to work out every possible future scenario is exhausting -- and what actually occurs is rarely one you planned for!

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Does the Aspirancy Program last for a full year from being accepted or has your contact with them in the last few months a part of the one year Aspirancy?

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AbigailGermaine

The angst was a momentary disconbobulation after I came home last time and suddenly didn't fit in anymore...

The Aspirancy counts just from when I was accepted... Because of personal reasons (how long I've been catholic) I won't be eligible to enter as a postulant until at least October 2020. (Basically 18 months since I started the program. 

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