A Day in the Life of a Postulant:

[Pax17]

From the Summit Dominicans:

https://www.summitdominicans.org/blog

[Guest]

Beautifully written and descriptive article. Thank you for sharing.  Prayer for Sr Lauren who will be taking the habit next month on September 8, 2019.........Our Lady's Birthday.

 

[Nunsuch]

As with all things "religious life," this is descriptive of an experience in a particular community. Your mileage may vary.

[JHFamily]

1 hour ago, Nunsuch said:

As with all things "religious life," this is descriptive of an experience in a particular community. Your mileage may vary.

No one put this kind of snarky comment when you posted a video of first vows with IHM.  The same thing could have definitely been said about that community!  Stop being so defensive about communities that are traditional, habited and growing!  It's just rude.

 

Edited August 10, 2019 by JHFamily

[gloriana35]

Thank you, JHFamily. I know I'm annoyed by not being able to share any of my own experiences of religious life, or of the many religious from varied communities whom I knew in my many years of apostolic work, without Nunsuch saying she 'never heard of' or 'never saw' this in any community she'd studied, as if I were lying. (And I'm not 'taking this personally,' since I'm not the only one who can't say anything without being treated as if she were a liar.)

[Nunsuch]

I did not intend my comment to be read as snarky, and I'm sorry if it offended anyone. Please give me the courtesy of accepting that. I was in no way critical of this vision of religious life--simply suggesting that it is one of many. And the Church is richer for that. 

[JHFamily]

It is obviously one of many.  It was a blog written by the Summit Dominicans about their postulant, ergo, it is their life.  To point out that it is

3 hours ago, Nunsuch said:

descriptive of an experience

followed by 

3 hours ago, Nunsuch said:

Your mileage may vary.

insinutates that it is a practically useless blog post, that their way of life is rather unimportant in the whole scheme of things.  The whole point of Vocation Station is to explore vocations and ask questions about them.  

I discerned once with a community of sisters much like the IHM.  Though I loved them, I couldn't understand how living their life would be different than the life I was already leading.  In addition, I also had some attraction to a more traditional religious life.  The vocation director, however, was always dismissive of my questions and in her everyday conversation, dismissive of traditional orders, so I did not feel I could be honest and forthright because her attitude was so belittling of anything else.  I knew she could not help me truly discern because of her bias.  It really hurt her feelings in the end when I chose a traditional community which I had never discussed with her. 

You, Nunsuch, remind me of this Vocation Director, treating traditional communities as rare oddball factions that will die a slow death. (I will gently refer to the thread on What Do You Bring to the Convent?  There, you insinuate that very few communities have communal laundry anymore. "I have visited over 60 motherhouses in the course of my research (I stayed in most of them), and none of these were like what is being described here."  That's probably because of the types of communities you visited!  In fact, there are many communities with communal laundries -- most of which are habited.)  

Anyway, don't write or insinuate things about more traditional communities that you wouldn't want said about yours.  My suggestion is that when a traditional community is mentioned on Vocation Station, remember the old age, "If you have nothing good to say, then say nothing at all." 

 

[Nunsuch]

I am astounded by your judgmentalism and your meanness, JHFamily. That is all I have to say. I have apologized. I see no effort on your part of similar Christian behavior.

For the record, I am a professional historian, and the communities I visited are active ones throughout the United States. They had to have been in existence before 1917, because that is when my research ends. While I do not research contemplatives, I have stayed at several contemplative monasteries, as well. I firmly believe there is room in religious life for various forms of expression. I do not wish the "death" (or completion) of any community, but I do wish that searchers find the charism and form of expression that is best suited to their spirituality and needs. THAT is what I meant by my comment--not that the Summit experience was not valuable or attractive, but that it was not the only one out there. I have said enough. If you are representative of this site, I will happily leave, as I have plenty of other things to occupy my time. Perhaps I should post a poll to see if the majority so desires? I do not come on here to be insulted.

[Guest]

Poll or not I am hoping you will stay around, Nunsuch. 

[Guest]

Important Post

 

Vocations Forum to me is deserving of, and needs, a special sort of respect.

Mea maxima culpa (i.e. admission of guilt)

Edited August 11, 2019 by BarbaraTherese

[beatitude]

JHFamily, some of Nunsuch's recent posts have come across as unnecessarily defensive to me as well. However, just to give a bit of context, she's been on the phorum for several years, and during that time, there have been countless occasions where non-habited communities have been criticised, belittled, and attacked for all sorts of trivial things. (Case in point: a few months ago there was a thread about a video featuring some Carmelites, I think posted by Nunsuch, and people did pile on to criticise their habit choices and to act as if they knew better than the sisters what authentic Carmelite life ought to look like.) As a Mediator of Meh I step in to stop this sort of thing as far as I can, but periodically it does rear its head. I think that after experiencing this kind of thing off on for years, both here and elsewhere, Nunsuch may have started to overcompensate by seeing generalisations about religious life where none were intended and trying to provide clarity where none is needed. I've done the same thing in relation to my disabilities - I'm so used to people not understanding and making assumptions that sometimes, and especially when I'm stressed, I worry people are getting it wrong and I start trying to tackle assumptions and misconceptions that aren't there. This makes me come across as critical and nitpicky. But I don't mean to be.

Please correct me, Nunsuch, if this isn't an accurate comment. But so many religious in so many communities have written things called 'A Day in the Life' that I think it's fair to expect that people will realise it doesn't necessarily apply outside the community and that they aren't presenting it as the truth about all religious life. When Pax wrote that it was from the Summit Dominicans, I knew it would be about postulancy at Summit specifically, and I think it's reasonable to assume that the majority of other people would too.

Your knowledge is appreciated here and I for one hope you stay.

[Nunsuch]

Dear Beatitude, 

I think you have captured some of my feelings, which I appreciate, but the comment that prompted the current kerfuffle was definitely not intended as provocative or defensive—though it clearly was received as such. I have already apologized twice. 

I do think it is useful to remember the variety of expressions of religious life while many on this phorum seem to be attracted to more traditional forms, they are not all that there are. In noting that, I am not being critical, simply factual. 

I have received a couple of private messages asking me to censor myself or to leave. It seems to be impossible to delete one’s account (or, if it’s possible, o couldn’t find the directions). So I will simply take those requests to heart and withdraw myself from a place where I clearly do not belong.  For the final time, I apologize. And goodbye. 

[beatitude]

Unless one of the people asked you to leave was dUSt (and I doubt it was, because he'd just suspend or ban you) then you do belong here. He's the only one with the authority to make that decision. Some people might not like you and they might not want you to stay, but there are plenty of others who do. The nature of the phorum (or anywhere in life) is that not everyone will be everyone's cup of tea, and that miscommunication and misunderstandings will happen despite the best intentions...but we are all welcome here anyway.

I'm going to close this thread now, as I don't think it's going anywhere good.