More Questions

[AveMariaMaterDei]

Hi Everyone,

I have a few more questions...

First, do any of you happen to know where I could find a copy of the 1990 Carmelite Constitutions or find it online even?!?

Do you know if Carmelites ask for a dowry?

Should I wait to be invited to visit a Carmel or is it fine to ask if I can before being invited by them if I have been corresponding with them awhile?

Thank you and May God Bless you!

AveMariaMaterDei

[JHFamily]

Carmels do not ask for a dowry, and yes, if you have been corresponding with them, it is fine to ask for a visit.   In fact, some may wait for you to ask rather than invite themselves.

The Constitutions are hard to find.  Moreover, I think it is a mistake to dive into the Constitutions and make a big deal about them.  While there is little doubt the 1990 Constitutions are stricter than the '91, there are some '91 communities that are stricter than some '90 communities.  I just think it would be a mistake to base your decision upon that.   I know a young lady that I suspect "slit her own throat", so to speak, by asking question upon question about the different constitutions rather than the community life itself.  She was denied entrance to two different Carmels, even though she really had a strong desire to enter them.

[AveMariaMaterDei]

Thank you very much for your reply! It helped to make things a lot clearer and now I can more confidently move on to asking them about a visit and know to be careful about trying to much to try to know the constitutions for now.

Thanks again and May God Bless you!

AveMariaMaterDei

[gloriana35]

I cannot speak for the Carmelites, but, with many Sisters I have known, from many congregations, there can be varied attitudes about constitutions. (Or even about information in a more general sense. Were you to enquire about the foundress of a congregation,some communities would gladly provide information - others would see you as uncooperative, and not 'community minded,' since they have a schedule of how to present material, and you are supposed to cover other preliminaries.) I knew of cases (for example, when a priest I knew was doing research) where communities did not allow anyone to see their constitutions, except novices they were instructing, or those,such as bishops or canon lawyers, who might need to review details.

 

[Lilllabettt]

The community I entered was one that would not let you see the constitutions until the novitiate.  Why that is, I dont know.

But after I left, I discerned with two other traditional groups, and they were very glad to show off their constitutions and almost campaign for how lovely and perfect they were. 

I dont think you should feel nervous at all, asking questions.  There was a time when a lot of women entered religious life pretty much blind at age 17, but nowadays that would be imprudent. Back then most would enter a nearby community, and if it didnt work out, they could be back at home the same afternoon, back living with parents as was expected of unmarried women at that time. Today women are expected to support themselves, and postulants often interrupt careers or professional educations to enter somewhere half way across the country where they know nobody ... the stakes are just that much higher, socially and emotionally.  

Some communities dont get this but most do.

So my dear, ask away!