God's Nature

[Peter123]

If you've ever listened to the song "Hotel California" by the Eagles, there is a famous line "you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave." That's kind of my relationship to Catholicism. I'm a convert. I love a lot of stuff about Catholicism. I converted for a reason. At the same time, I'm not sure what I actually think is true at this point.

I believe the resurrection. But I'm doubtful Christ is the foretold Jewish messiah. I believe God will return all to himself in universal salvation (after a learning process) and contrary to the expectations of others I feel great sorrow for my sins. I believe that the Hindu Gods are very real because of personal experience, but I hope they are not the Big Guy. I believe that Catholic teaching has changed with time (immaculate conception and papal authority), but I still trust Cantalmessa and Pope Francis.

But, my fundamental problem is this: God just isn't there. Not in the sense that He does not exist, but in the sense that He is not interactive with me. At least Christ isn't.

When I was a teenager I had such faith that years down the road with prayer and repentance God would finally reach out to me. I asked for the Egg of consolation and certainty. I got the rock of confusion and sadness. But, here is the thing, this is where most people in America would say "I'm a materialist." I'm not. A God did respond back to me. Shiva gave me Darshan. Lakshmi healed me of illness. Ganesha answered prayers. Mantras bring great peace. I stretched forward in the darkness of this veil of tears and got a response: the Hindu Gods. 

And my response is: Really??!

I feel like I'm a man who's dad left when he was five and decided to write a letter to his Father every Saturday, and after years of no answer he finally got one. "Hey, I'm not according to your expectations, but this is how it is. I'm not the guy you thought I was, that's difficult, but this is what I'm actually like."

What am I supposed to do with that? It's not a polemical tract where Catholic Answers quotes C.S. Lewis against Hinduism. It's shock and confusion over my expectations being subverted by my real life experience. I believe in Jesus because I read a book about Him. Or really, a lot of books. I believe in Lakshmi and Shiva etc because they threw rocks at my window and told me "suprise!" when I finally opened it (metaphorically speaking).

I'm a Catholic who believe in the Hindu gods. Like, what the heck am I supposed to do with that? Rationally speaking from what I know, I should become Hindu, but I don't friggin' wanna. I like being an anglo-American Roman Catholic. I don't want to lose the religious identity I built up and become some white guy who goes to a Hindu temple. Rationally I feel compelled to, but like. What now?

 

What would you do in my situation?

[Seven77]

 Thanks for posting.  That's a difficult situation you described.

I would just like to ask you  some questions…

How you know it was those particular "gods"  who answered you? How did they answer you?  Like how would you say that Shiva answered you " by throwing rocks at your window and  surprised you when you opened the window?" Could you be a little more specific?

 Also, could you explain why you doubt that Jesus Christ is the promised Messiah? Also, what would you say that it means for him to be "the promised Messiah"? 

[Peter123]

Hello Seven77,

 

I was a little flustered when I wrote that, so thank you for asking clarifying questions. Well, long story short before I was Catholic I dabbled in Hinduism, meaning I prayed to Shiva. At two times I became aware of a "presence" it felt like I was seen. It's hard to describe what that is like, but it was very powerful. I later repressed that experience and decided to go ahead with Christianity. 

Many years later (like multiple months ago) while I'm despairing again about what the nature of God is, I pray to Lakshmi for help with my life long OCD. And hey, sure enough it decreases by 80% to this very day. You could say it's mental health stuff so it doesn't really count as a healing, but man. After a life time of such torment it decreased markedly. There seems to be a direct correlation between praying to Hindu Gods and things happening.

What I mean by doubting that Jesus is the promised Messiah is that when I read Jewish and Christian exchanges, Like Jews for Judaism, I come away pretty convinced that Jesus did not fulfill what the messiah was supposed to be. He rose from the dead, but He did not bring about world peace and the messianic age, which was the historical job of the messiah. Instead it really looks like a few dozen of Jesus' remaining followers systematically reinterpreted the meaning of the scriptures to make sense of why Jesus was the messiah, but did not fulfill the prophecy of bringing about utopia.

[Seven77]

 Can I ask if you went to Mass yesterday? If so, did you notice how very relevant, especially the Scripture readings, it all was in regards to your difficulty? It was all about the persistence of prayer.

I'm getting everything you're saying. However, I think that your understanding of prayer might be a little bit confused. Our prayers are not always answered in the way we expect them to sometimes. But if what we are praying for is indeed what God wants for us, it will indeed happen but we may need to persist.  What really is the essential point of all prayer addressed to God? The adoration of worship to God as God.

 And are you aware that those hindu gods that you mentioned do not actually even exist? The God of Jesus Christ is historical revelation, fact. Also, are you aware  of the reality of   other powers who are not God but may masquerade as some such "alternate deity"? It either that,the manifestation of OCD --I say this as someone who has seriously struggled with OCD---or the fact that it just simply went away because of mere positive thinking,or possibly God healed you in spite of your invocation of false gods . In other words, it was not Hindu gods that had anything whatsoever to do with it --because they don't exist.

Similarly, I don't think you  really understand the mission of  Jesus. He  being God is King, By nature… He is The Only King. Now he became incarnate into the  line of the human and divinely appointed anointed king…David as king, he rules over a kingdom. His kingdom actually exists--- it is the new israel which has been established, it is the Church. Ultimately, as he said, his kingdom is not of earth it is not an earthly kingdom in earthly understanding of kingdom a merely earthly understanding of kingdom. it transcends earth.

Jesus did not fail in his mission--- he defeated the definitive enemies of sin death and satan--- and restored us to Divine Life enabling us to overcome his enemies. But know that his mission is our mission--- we are members of his Body.  The utopia that you mentioned is certainly a prophecy. But just because it has not happened yet does not mean that it's not going to happen. All of the prophecies have been fulfilled and are being fulfilled and will be fulfilled. That's how it all works. Dt's not supposed to be instantaneous.

 No one actually systematically misinterpreted anything.  People don't die for interpretations or misinterpretations because they sound nice, plausible.. People die for Truth. Persecutions, the jaws of lions, being burned as human torches … People don't really like to suffer but when it comes what the early Christians believed, they readily embraced such things.

Lastly, because you asked for advice, I suggest that you find a very good holy and wise priest to guide you.

Edited July 29, 2019 by Seven77