Smoking cigarettes

[lost_in_this_world]

Anyone else struggle with smoking cigarettes?  I have for about ten years and am trying so hard to quit. I have almost been caught by friends and family over the years and continue to lie over and over. I want to stop and realize the health issues that will arise if I continue but I truly do enjoy smoking. E-cigs are not a possibility as I really want to stop all together and don’t get the same satisfaction from them. Ugh. I really can’t find the willpower to stop and thought I was doing alright until tonight when I went and bought a pack. Any thoughts?  

[Guest]

I used to be a chain smoker, but now have a cigarette only rarely really.  What I found out about giving up smoking is that I had to do it when I was ready to try.  Other's opinions about smoking and my health did not fluster me one bit.  I suppose I tried around four times before I was able to make the transition from chain smoker to only rarely.  Before that, when others came down hard on me about being a smoker, it made me feel really bad and want a cigarette even more.  For me, it was certainly not the time to try to stop.

20 years in the revolving door of a psychiatric ward or hospital with nothing at all to do but smoke and where cigarettes were a currency led me to chain smoking.  Prior to that I hardly ever had a cigarette.

I made the transition using nicotine replacement gum which I still use now and then.  I prayed about giving up because I had reached a point where I wanted to be in control, rather than nicotine urges controlling me.  My general  opinion is, the decision has to be yours and not because of others' and their opinions.  Also, you have to do it your way, not the way others think you should do it.  You need to work out a way that is going to work for you.  When I made my final effort to give up it was winter and cold and so I would have a cigarette in my freezing cold bathroom sitting on the edge of the bath.  Not in a comfortable and warm spot.

There probably is a connection between smoking and cancer - however even breathing can be problematic with our pollution problems.   That is not a rationalisation, rather it is fact. A young friend of my brother's died of lung cancer and she had never had a cigarette in her life, she did not drink alcohol and she was very health conscious as she taught physical education.  She died at 21 years of age.

I am quite philosophical about illness and death.  Both are in God's Hands and if I hear about having a cigarette now and then on Judgement Day, then I have to face that then.  The Good Lord alone knows the complete factors involved in smoking for each unique individual smoker.  If the worst thing I have ever done in life was have a cigarette now and then, I think I would have something close to top marks on the goodness scale of things............and I don't come anywhere near even close.  And I refuse absolutely to allow others to put me on a guilt trip re smoking.

God's Blessings on your efforts to stop smoking.  May The Good Lord grant you success.

 

[NeuInstalliert]

It's not just about the willpower. I had a similar mindset, but with food. This is going to be an odd example but I hope it may shed some insight.

I had a very bad food binging problem from a young age. Later to be diagnosed as BED (binge eating disorder), I found it absolutely impossible to quit binging on the foods that I knew weren't good for me, or that I labeled as evil. I constantly binged (and purged) in secret. Nobody knew what I was doing. I would beat myself up everyday because I felt I was weak, no will power. How weak of me to not be able to give up something as simple as certain foods?! But it got so bad - to the point where I was self harming and I would also post notes in my cubicle at work insulting myself for having no will power- but often translated in German so no one could read them. In recovery I later found out that I was using the food as an emotional medicine (grew up in an extremely abusive home, isolated child, went to food for comfort). 

I know nicotine has a different effect on the brain than what I was (am) going through, but here's some tid bits I learned at the beginning of my recovery from some books. 

In giving yourself permission to ____ (in your case, smoke), you don't have to deal with all the doubts and fears about quitting. It's often not the task that is difficult. It's the resistance to the task that is hard to push through. If you find that you're resistant to something, one way is to stop trying to work through it. When you come up against it, accept it. Think of the reasons you have decided to do it (ie quit smoking) and give yourself permission to stop when you want. People often forget that they only have forward to go. They spend a lot of time trying to undo ___ (ie, smoking, binging) rather than focusing on their next actions. Acceptance of the resistance itself will help you flow forward with your recovery. Unconsciously we want to maintain the homeostasis in order to allow our condition to stay constant and stable. Anything worth doing takes discipline. (Leora Fulvio) 

Best wishes to you. I hope you can fully recover. It may be difficult. God watch over you and give you strength during your journey. 

 

Edited March 25, 2019 by NeuInstalliert

[Guest]

 

2 hours ago, NeuInstalliert said:

It's often not the task that is difficult. It's the resistance to the task that is hard to push through.

Good point.  I found thinking about giving up presented a more difficult image, than the actual giving up.  I also felt that I would somehow lose my identity in some way if I gave up.  But these are fears about giving up i.e. expectations, rather than what unfolds as the actual.

[Gary david]

Hi. This topic on cigaretts varies so widly when it comes to people quitting. Some can stop right away and some never can. Im am guily of the later. When i was young it was the fashionable thing to do. My mother and father smoked and no matter where I might go there would be people smoking. Back then you could smoke just about anywheres. Something like that makes a very strong impression and statement especially when your young coupled with the fact on how addictive they are. So Im not a chain smoker and have cut back quite a bit and can understand the struggles people have with this.

  Just another of one of the many struggles in life. I consider this one for me to be a exterior struggle more than an interior struggle, those are far more difficult.

  Ok, I have to leave for now. God bless you.....

[Guest]

When I was a teenager, people smoked everywhere including in hospitals and picture theatres.  There was no such thing as no smoking signs insofar as I can recall.

[Guest]

All things added up, I would never recommend smoking to anyone.  I regret the day I took it up.  It costs a lot of money and after I gave it up in the main, I recognise how bad I felt while a chain smoker.  I feel 100% better nowadays and I no longer have that dreadful smoker's cough.  I smell better too.

[Gary david]

Oh yes. I recall that very well. I remember all those tv commercials, and magazine adds, and remember the marlboro man? Oh yes, that was the in thing to do and that went on for many years. You know what is strange? All those people thought they were doing no harm or wrong including the marlboro man that died from cancer. It makes me wonder what else that we are doing now that later we will be told is so harmful. Makes me wonder. Well no point in worrying about such things, we are here for only so long anyways. Oh, and you said something I havent heard for a long time. You said, "picture theaters". I dont hear that anymore.

Good to share old time memories with you. God bless....

 

[Anomaly]

I’ve quit smoking many times. Sometimes for years.   It’s easy to start up again.  

For me, I learned to positively go without touching a lit cigarette.   If you live in the US, google the free stop smoking resources.  

There are many ways to quit.    You have to keep trying.   

Find someone in real life that you can confide in and discuss quitting.   Since you are sneaking around, you don’t have any one to give you positive feed back.  For example l, “I went two days without touching a lit cigarette, but I smoked this morning.”   Your buddy: “great.  2 days!   Are you going to quit this afternoon and go for 3 days?”

At this point it’s more about just smoking.   Do some research, try multiple plans and programs.   Eventually you will quit for long periods      .    And if you start smoking again, you can quit again.   It does get easier to quit for longer spans of time.

I quit for 20+ years and picked them up in an instant.   Currently, I’ve been quit for about six years.   It’s one day at a time.   Good luck to you!  It’s well worth the efforts.  

Edited March 25, 2019 by Anomaly

[little2add]

 Tobacco smoking is a dirty disgusting habit.   To me nothing smells worse than a smoker,  the ashtray smell  permeates their clothes and  their  Automobiles and dwellings.   

 Tobacco smoke has killed more people than guns 

 From what I have read vapor cigarettes maybe even more dangerous to one’s health 

 

 

[Gary david]

Your right, it is a disgusting habit. There are far worse but this one is bad enoigh. Strange how life is. The one smoking cant smell the nasty smell. I guess that also applies to other nasty things people do. You cant see how bad they are untill you quite.

  Good reply and you are correct. God bless.....

[little2add]

https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/campaign/tips/index.html

 

 

[Gary david]

1 hour ago, little2add said:

https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/campaign/tips/index.html

 

 

A terrible, terrible habit. I hope with what you posted helps some9ne quite.

   God bless....

[Lilllabettt]

Think about the people who love you and what they will feel if you die of a smoking related disease.

Every drag you take on a cigarette you are proclaiming to God and the world that you love your addiction more than the people who love you. Maybe print that agreement and force yourself to physically sign it before you can give yourself permission to smoke.  

Remember,  the contract is there and you sign it when you smoke whether you physically sign it or not.

My husband's father died when he was in college of lung cancer. HE KEPT SMOKING. When I found out I sincerely considered dumping him, because what kind of man could do that to his poor mother? Force her to watch him kill himself with the same drug that killed her husband?

But. He agreed to quit, and he did, for a couple years now. If he took it up again I would consider a civil divorce. I am 100% done with people choosing their addictions over me. Lifetime quota met.