First meeting with SD

[28yrolddiscerner]

What kind of questions should I be asking my Spiritual Director at our first meeting?? I am discerning religious life, and going to my first Come and See with a community very soon!

i want to be prepared.

thank you for your help! 

Pax Christi

[chrysostom]

I don't have much experience so take my advice with a grain of salt...but my two cents:

Spending some time in prayer beforehand might be helpful. Be honest about yourself and open to the SD. Expect things to take time.

God bless you!

[Sponsa-Christi]

A first meeting with a new spiritual director is generally a time to discern whether or not the relationship is going to be a good fit. (Even objectively good SDs aren't always going to be the best SD for a particular person at a particular time.)

In a first meeting, it's a good idea to share the basic outlines of your story and where you are in your spiritual life and/or vocational discernment.

In terms of questions for you to ask, I would ask about the SD's basic approach to spiritual direction in general, and also some practical questions about how SD with this person would work. For example, is the SD strongly influenced by a particular tradition that informs his or her practice of spiritual direction (e.g., a Carmelite and someone from Opus Dei are going to have very different approaches to SD)? How often will you meet? How structured is the SDs approach? Etc. 

[Sister Leticia]

It's useful to think about what you would like to ask, but don't forget that the SD will have questions for you! For example, what you are looking for, why you are asking to engage in SD, maybe some preliminary questions about how you pray and who God is for you. Perhaps you could spend your preparation time thinking about how you would want to respond and share. 

A good SD (and especially one who has undergone training) will know the importance of telling you at the outset about their approach, and about discerning whether this will be a good "fit" (eg up to three meetings and then a discussion/evaluation about whether to continue). All this might lead to more questions, and if you're the sort of person who needs time to think about them, then say so. You might only need a few minutes within the session, or you might need a few days, and to come back with your questions at your next meeting. 

And remember - nobody goes deep-sea diving the very first time they walk into the sea! Building up trust and openness will take time, and your SD will understand that.