How Often Should You Go To Confession?

[Guest]

I go to Confession a lot. I'm thinking possibly too much. I'm not scrupulous. They are grave/mortal sins I confess. Probably mortal although I'm not sure and only God knows my culpability. But grave in matter definitely.

The Catechism states we are to Confess grave/mortal sins at least once a year. So this contradicts the idea one has to run to Confession immediately after committing a grave/mortal sin. My understanding is we have to have the firm intent to go at least once a year. Which would mean if you died before going it wouldn't necessarily mean hell becuase you did have the firm intention of going. Unless the Catechism is wrong. But it clearly states Confession is required once a year for all grave/mortal sins. 

So obviously you should go more often becuase if you didn't you would only be able to receive Communion once a year (btw we are only required to receive Communion once a year) unless you never fall into grave/mortal sin which some people probably don't. Not me.

So often should you go to Confession? Twice a month if you really struggle? I've read that some Priest's have said going once a week or more may not be a good idea. It could mean you are abusing the Sacrament and committing presumption. Or you are scrupulous. I've been guilty of going more than once a week. I'm not scrupulous. I'm not confessing trivial things.

What are your thoughts?

Edited August 28, 2018 by Guest

[Guest]

My personal thoughts only: 

My thoughts are that if I have committed a mortal sin, I should resolve to go to Confession as soon as I can.   I also like to go during Advent and Lent and no matter how many times I have gone during the year.

Quote

Can.  989 After having reached the age of discretion, each member of the faithful is obliged to confess faithfully his or her grave sins at least once a year.

I like to make my Advent and Lent Confessions ideally a brief summary of the times inbetween and renewal of sorrow for failures.

If I have committed a mortal sin three times in a week, I would go three times during one week if The Sacrament was available.  Some priests do not think this necessary and I don't think that it is either, but I do think it is a good general resolution.  I would absolutely not feel personally comfortable about receiving Holy Communion without going to Confession if I was in the state of mortal sin, even if I do firmly resolve to go to Confession at some later date.

If I had the problem of habitual mortal sin which occurs regularly in the days of the week, I would submit that to Father in Confession and ask how often should I go to Confession and be docile to his advice and definitely not go second guessing and asking advice elsewhere - sometimes this can reveal that I am merely looking for confirmation of what I want to do anyway.

I think that problems with personal moral matters involving grave matter are always best addressed to a priest in Confession asking his advice and being docile to that advice.  If I doubted his advice was correct, I would get one other priest's opinion.  If I followed advice which I later found was incorrect, I would simply act on the correct advice and not feel guilty about acting on the incorrect advice, since I did act in good faith.

I think that we do need to be careful about making our spiritual life a relationship with rules, rather than a relationship with The Lord in intimate conversation with Him.  Rules can be great guides, but never ends in themselves.  Especially with us Catholics (generally often intent on the rules), I think that developing an intimate relationship with The Lord in intimate conversation with Him involves a process towards that end result or purpose, which is why a sound spiritual director(if I intend to take my Faith and The Gospel, my spiritual life, seriously) is a spiritual treasure.

 

Edited August 28, 2018 by BarbaraTherese

[Guest]

8 minutes ago, BarbaraTherese said:

I would absolutely not feel personally comfortable about receiving Holy Communion without going to Confession if I was in the state of mortal sin, even if I do firmly resolve to go to Confession at some later date.

 

 

Thanks for the great in-depth response. Appreciated. Yeah I would never receive Communion without going to Confession first after committing grave/mortal sin. I think that's why we are required only to receive Communion once a year. So we don't receive without going to Confession first to Confess grave/mortal sins.

Edited August 28, 2018 by Guest

[truthfinder]

4 hours ago, Josh said:

 

So often should you go to Confession? Twice a month if you really struggle?

I think Barb gave you a good answer, but I wanted to add something particularly about what you wrote here.  I was in a parish where the priests suggested every two weeks. It was also made very clear to me that you have to do a proper examination of conscience.  I went from confessing maybe 3 times a year to every two weeks. It was extremely profitable.  Having since left that parish, I have kept it up.  Because of the necessity of doing a proper examination of conscience, I have sometimes let it go a couple weeks longer, but never more than 5 weeks in the past 6 years. I also know that it keeps me a little more vigilant, watching out of the things that can lead me to greater sin.  Going longer makes me more reliant on myself to avoid sin, and that's a recipe for failure.

Sometimes it feels like I'm confessing the same things, but I've been reminded that, thank God, at least I haven't added anything new! I do know some people who go weekly, and some who go once a month.  I think you need to find the rhythm that works for you.  It's not only when you're 'struggling' - it's squaring yourself up with God on a frequent basis and seeing how your relationship with Him is actually at, and not only when things have gone really wrong.  I think having a frequent confessor can be really important in habitual sins, even those which are not mortal. 

One thing about mortal sin: it will send you to Hell.  So, unless you are a scrupulous person, getting it dealt with sooner rather than later is a good thing. (If you were scrupulous, you should confess only on the schedule your confessor approves).  But sometimes, the fear can also help, to know how distant we are from God, that it can help prevent sins in the future.  So next available regular confession time would be my advice. Because you also are not really gaining many graces when in mortal sin either - our works are empty when our souls are dead.

[Ash Wednesday]

I try to go about once a month, though it's been a couple of months or so lately -- as the church I go to confession at is in another town and right now I'm reliant on my husband driving. (behind a screen but it doesn't matter, when you're an American living in England it's easy for my accent to be recognized) 

I would say people should go as often as it's beneficial for them but everyone's mileage will vary.  Generally scrupulous people are best off having a regular confessor and spiritual director who can advise them about their spiritual disposition and how often they should be going. Scupulants often have the problem of "shopping around" and going to different places for confession because they become distressed about things like whether their confession was valid or "good enough" -- having a regular priest or spiritual director helps them to learn trust and to not let themselves be so easily distressed. I never had this problem but I knew of others that did.

A number of popes and religious figures like Mother Teresa have gone weekly or even daily as religious practice or especially being a pope I imagine having to make a lot of serious decisions daily and weekly would weigh very heavily on a soul. 

[Guest]

I have been spoilt and had a priest religious for spiritual director and confessor (he is recently deceased).  I like combining the two roles as then my soul is a completely open book to my director.

I need to find another SD and a priest religious would be a great blessing.  Most I know of here do charge and I will be looking for a freebie.  I like to donate to the parish or religious order when I am able rather than a fixed hourly charge and thankfully my two past priest religious SD and confessors preferred it that way too.  I was (and am) indeed spoilt.  

 

[Guest]

9 hours ago, truthfinder said:

I do know some people who go weekly, and some who go once a month.  I think you need to find the rhythm that works for you.  It's not only when you're 'struggling' - it's squaring yourself up with God on a frequent basis and seeing how your relationship with Him is actually at, and not only when things have gone really wrong.  I think having a frequent confessor can be really important in habitual sins, even those which are not mortal. 

 

In the course of a month I am always struggling. Or I have given myself completely over to sin and am not even trying because I'm so entrenched. And things have went "really wrong" as you put it. 

Lately to my credit I have tried not to let the sin pile up and have went to Confession very frequently. Although I'm in a cycle now where I'm "entrenched" and I was just in Confession Friday. I'm not sure when I will go back again. I may wait awhile this time.

I have a firm resolution to avoid grave sin when I confess but the same thing always happens. Not usually this fast where I'm Confessing Friday and am entrenched by Tuesday. But always too soon. Thanks for your reply. God Bless.

4 hours ago, Ash Wednesday said:

Scupulants often have the problem of "shopping around" and going to different places for confession because they become distressed about things like whether their confession was valid or "good enough" -- having a regular priest or spiritual director helps them to learn trust and to not let themselves be so easily distressed. I never had this problem but I knew of others that did.

 

I always go to different Confessors and different Churches. I'm not Scrupulous but I wouldnt be able to Confess my grave/mortal sins if it was always to the same Priest. I'm not comfortable enough to share awful intimate details like that with the same person all the time. Especially when he's in the Postion to judge me or respond harshly or confrontational. And I don't know anything about him and his struggles or dark secrets. Not that I want to know but yeah. There's no way I could go to the same Priest. It has to be anonymous and behind a screen. Thank you for your reply. God Bless.

Edited August 28, 2018 by Guest

[Guest]

 CCC #1860 The promptings of feelings and passions can also diminish the voluntary and free character of the offense, as can external pressures or pathological disorders http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s1c1a8.htm

Habitual acts (entrenched acts)can often fit into "the promptings of feelings and passions" which diminish "free consent", which is an absolute necessity for mortal sin along with grave matter and full knowledge.  Ask the priest in Confession if your problem or problems are indeed mortal sin.   Venial sins are forgiven in many ways outside of The Confessional including at the Penitential Rite prior to Holy Communion and at Holy Communion during Mass or at any time during The Mass.  All The Lord asks is that we are sorry for our offences.  "in fact, we can do so at any time by a pious act" HERE all is dependent on motivation.    Probably many can have have an almost daily and certainly weekly struggle with venial sins and sometimes venial sins that have become habitual or entrenched - a good act to confess them but not a necessity.  A simple talk with Jesus about our sorrow for venial sin will draw His Mercy and forgiveness.  Such a God have we!

Not unusual for grave matter and mortal sin to be thought of as the same.  They are not.

I am hoping you will seek advice from a priest.

Prayer for you, Josh, and please keep me in yours.  

 

 

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, BarbaraTherese said:

 CCC #1860 The promptings of feelings and passions can also diminish the voluntary and free character of the offense, as can external pressures or pathological disorders http://www.vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/p3s1c1a8.htm

Habitual acts (entrenched acts)can often fit into "the promptings of feelings and passions" which diminish "free consent", which is an absolute necessity for mortal sin along with grave matter and full knowledge.  Ask the priest in Confession if your problem or problems are indeed mortal sin.   Venial sins are forgiven in many ways outside of The Confessional including at the Penitential Rite prior to Holy Communion and at Holy Communion during Mass or at any time during The Mass.  All The Lord asks is that we are sorry for our offences.  "in fact, we can do so at any time by a pious act" HERE all is dependent on motivation.    Probably many can have have an almost daily and certainly weekly struggle with venial sins and sometimes venial sins that have become habitual or entrenched - a good act to confess them but not a necessity.  A simple talk with Jesus about our sorrow for venial sin will draw His Mercy and forgiveness.  Such a God have we!

Not unusual for grave matter and mortal sin to be thought of as the same.  They are not.

I am hoping you will seek advice from a priest.

Prayer for you, Josh, and please keep me in yours.  

 

 

You're in my prayers. Thanks for yours. I actually had one Priest tell me this sin wasn't mortal because my culpability was lessened. Was suprised to hear that considering it's a really bad grave sin. Not the one that most people are thinking of mentioned in the Catechism. He's the only Priest that has told me that but he did say it. With that said I know I still have to try and not let that be an excuse to give up and chalk it up to lessened culpability every time. Thanks for your reply. Gives me more to think about. 

I still will confess it and other grave sins every time before receiving Communion. Even if my culpability is lessened and it's not mortal. I don't want to chance it.

[Ash Wednesday]

59 minutes ago, Josh said:

I always go to different Confessors and different Churches. I'm not Scrupulous but I wouldnt be able to Confess my grave/mortal sins if it was always to the same Priest. I'm not comfortable enough to share awful intimate details like that with the same person all the time. Especially when he's in the Postion to judge me or respond harshly or confrontational. And I don't know anything about him and his struggles or dark secrets. Not that I want to know but yeah. There's no way I could go to the same Priest. It has to be anonymous and behind a screen. Thank you for your reply. God Bless.

And there's no rule that says you can't go to different priests. Usually scrupulants are advised not to do this only because it makes their condition worse but that's specific to them. If that helps you more, so be it. I know sometimes I avoid confessing to the priest that married my husband and I so I'll go to the other priest if I have to. I fully admit it's my pride, but it's just too embarrassing otherwise. 

[Guest]

7 hours ago, Josh said:

You're in my prayers. Thanks for yours. I actually had one Priest tell me this sin wasn't mortal because my culpability was lessened. Was suprised to hear that considering it's a really bad grave sin. Not the one that most people are thinking of mentioned in the Catechism. He's the only Priest that has told me that but he did say it. With that said I know I still have to try and not let that be an excuse to give up and chalk it up to lessened culpability every time. Thanks for your reply. Gives me more to think about. 

I still will confess it and other grave sins every time before receiving Communion. Even if my culpability is lessened and it's not mortal. I don't want to chance it.

Well said and good move to speak with a priest.

Thank you very much for prayer.  Spiritually, Josh, I do think your attitude reveals you are in a good place spiritually - although you might not feel this.  Feelings are important and we should own them -  but also they can be lousy guides.  Sorrow/remorse/regret for sin is usually not a happy feeling at all, while we know from Faith that it is always good. Conversion to which we are all called is not always (perhaps even rarely) an event, it is a process over time and you are aware of this and have committed yourself to a journey of metanoia (meaning conversion) "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us" (1 John Ch 1).  Every last one of us should be on a journey of metanoia or conversion.  Easy to read really comprehensive short article here on habitual sin from a respected priest and author:  https://www.spiritualdirection.com/2016/12/26/dangerous-habits-serious-or-mortal-sin

God bless

"To reach something good it is very useful to have gone astray, and thus acquire experience." (St Teresa of Avila)
 

Edited August 28, 2018 by BarbaraTherese

[Guest]

The Good God is never ever wasteful (I call it God's Economy), even our sinfulness He can turn to good use.  Having gone astray, as I have and do, I am able then to draw from the basket of my experiences and hopefully to the benefit of others as well as myself.

Edited August 28, 2018 by BarbaraTherese