Should someone with mental illness give up on being a nun?

[Dymphna]

Sorry for writing a second post, but I saw in another thread that you were recently looking for work, and that gave me another idea: 

If you have found work by now I‘d stick with that, because being able to keep a job will be another indication of your stability. But if you haven‘t, maybe you could try to spend some time in a live-in volunteer program with a community - not necessarily one you want to join! That could give you some breathing space, you could experience some aspects of life in a religious community, and on top it might be that the sisters would be willing to give you a good reference when you are ready to apply at another community

I know that in the US the Erie Benedictines have such a program: https://www.eriebenedictines.org/benedicta-riepp-monastic-experience

If that‘s not suitable for you, maybe they can tell you about other communities with similar opportunities.

[gloriana35]

I've known hundreds of religious, from various communities - and (though I am not suggesting this is so in your case) have heard some stories from vocation directors that I'd never have expected. Based on some of their experiences, vocation directors often are extremely cautious (and, perhaps, too inclined to expect this) about candidates who they perceive as possibly wanting to be supported (in a sense of finances and housing.) Even forty years ago, one of the first questions I heard (since I had BA and MA degrees in music) was whether I was seeking to enter a convent because I couldn't find work with those 'useless' degrees.

At 28, I think it would be important for you to be employed and independent, in order to be considered. Superiors well may be wary of anyone with mental illness  (I have bipolar disorder, so this is no slur) - they fear disruption in community life. If you are not employed, or are only working as a volunteer (possible if one had independent income), there is a possibility that superiors would wonder if you were seeking religious life in order to have a home and 'family.'  They may be concerned that you are looking for security.

 

[Antigonos]

I have been wanting, for a long time, to make a comment about the often-raised topic of what sort of medical conditions can affect discernment, but since I'm neither Catholic nor a discerner, I've been hesitant to do so.  I am, however, a nurse and something of an observer for at least 55 of my 72 years.  So...please take whatever is below as possible food for thought, nothing more.

There's a difference between a chronic physical medical condition and mental health issues, and I think the difference is very important.  A chronic condition such as diabetes or hyper/hypothyroidism can mean lifelong medication BUT it can be controlled successfully.  Whether a community can undertake the expenses involved, even with good medical insurance,  is another issue.  These can be considerable, not only medications but special diets, therapy, etc. so every community will have its own policy. [A diabetic, for example, can be well controlled but will need testing equipment and supplies even if she manages to maintain a good blood sugar level on diet alone].

But when the problem is related to mental health, it can be rather more complicated.  For starters, is the mental situation related to the desire to fulfill a vocation, or in spite of it?  Would the stresses -- very different from living on one's own "in the world" -- increase or the raised spiritual level of being with a community help relieve the problem?  Does one need constant medication, therapy, monitoring?  Is the community capable of dealing with an individual who may have periodic exacerbations of the mental problem?  Let's face it, religious are not primarily psychologists, even if they have experience in human relations and shrewdness.  A person who, for example, is bipolar, may not demonstrate obvious symptoms when "swinging" one way or the other until it is well advanced, and neither s/he nor her sisters [or brothers, as the case might be] might pick up impending signs.  This obviously would increase tensions even when everyone wants to be supportive, being apprehensive that something could veer out of control.

It seems to me that, without exaggerating one's health difficulties, it is important to be open about them once one is seriously discerning with a community, and from my POV, I think a live-in of considerable length is helpful for both the discerner and the community, perhaps even more so than if the discerner is in good physical and mental health.  If a community says it cannot accept someone who suffers from a significant problem, the discerner needs to understand that she's not "beyond hope", but that the search might take longer, to get a good "match", and in the meantime, try to work with a spiritual director to enrich his/her spiritual life.

It seems to me that there's a "right" place for everyone, although it sometimes takes quite a while to find it.

[Dimitri]

I agree largely with Antigonos, but my personal advice would be to lay back a bit. Of course, discerning is positive, especially if you keep in mind what has been said before, but the more you seek something, the more it will elude your grasp. Once you find it, it is probably smaller and different than you've expected, but no less worthy. Do not put too much pressure on your goals, and in a religious sense - vocation.

Furthermore, I have no doubts that some Saints must have suffered from mental problems as well (such as depression).  Only by falling to the lowest depths, can you also reach such a height.

[28yrolddiscerner]

On 8/8/2018 at 5:32 AM, Dymphna said:

I can somehow understand you, 28yrolddiscerner, with your seemingly unstructured search. I made the experience of rejection myself, and when I found out that most communities of my preferred spiritual tradition and style have great difficulties to accept me (age limits) I thought "ok, maybe God is telling me something here, maybe he wants me to join a different sort of community". Cloistered communities are more open to older applicants, so I went for one of these, and got indeed accepted - only to leave some time later, because I just didn't fit in with them. (It still was an important experience for me and I'm very thankful to that community.)

One advantage you have is your age - you still have years in which you can get to know different communities and find out which style suits you. And also, time is working for you regarding your illness, as you will be able to prove that you have been stable over an ever longer period and that you are able to work/study/live independently over a longer time.

Maybe you could get to know communities just as a generally interested woman, not mentioning your mental health, and give some sisters the opportunity to get to know you first. When you find that a certain community really interests you and they have already got a positive impression of you, then you could inform the vocation director about your interest and your mental health issue and see how she reacts. Of course, this approach means a high "emotional investment" from you - it's much harder to take a rejection from a community you've started to love, than to ask early, when you don't have an emotional connection with them. But as others have said - your risk of rejection may be higher then....

 

I agree!  I think I will take that approach.  Thank you,  this was very helpful:)

God bless!

[Sister Leticia]

To add to some of the points made by Antigonos about the difference in "manageability" between mental and physical health problems:

I regularly see posts here re the cost of medical treatment and insurance, as if cost is the only factor in a community's decision. And - for those of you in the US or other countries with a similar health system - it may well be something to consider, but it is not the only/primary factor.  Here in the UK, where we have free or low cost healthcare thanks to the National Health Service, we also screen candidates for possible health needs, physical and psychological. 

Why? Because candidates need to have sufficient health, stamina, resilience and stability to be able to live the life: to be part of the community's mission if apostolic (which could include full-time ministry and/or study, maybe plus extra things in the parish or for the community), to live the demands of community, to be able to live joyfully in enclosure (if monastic), and any fasting or other physical austerity, to embrace the vows, and any consequent asceticism and so on. 

Within this, it's quite feasible that some communities, because of their particular vocation, might have more stringent requirements than others. For example, a missionary order whose members could well be sent to remote, challenging outposts, with only very basic healthcare, might say they can't accept candidates whose health depends on daily medication, regular check ups, avoiding certain activities and so on. A condition which is perfectly manageable in a major city in a developed country, might be perilous in much less developed environments. So congregation A might be able to accept candidates with allergies, thyroid problems, bad backs etc, whereas congregation B might not.

But considerations around mental health can be even more crucial and stringent - as Antigonos has explained.

Entering religious life can be stressful. Remaining, and flourishing, is a great grace, but it is by no means easy. It isn't enough simply to want to live the life, or even to feel you're being called - you've actually got to be able to live it, and to grow and to thrive in it.