Question for youth entering very strict Orders

[gloriana35]

Though I do not know any Sisters in some active communities about which I have seen information, I have noticed that some very strict congregations have large numbers entering. Some list rules such as no home visits; horaria that leave one no time to one's self, and the like. I was wondering if some who entered found this to be too overwhelming, or whether it was inspiring or detrimental to see ways most communities eliminated years ago.  I see the Divine Office and Eucharist as very important, of course, but some communities apparently have exhausting schedules, with many private devotions in common. 

[chrysostom]

Before I say anything else I have no experience actually living in RL.

All I can think of is that it just depends on the community and the individual. Perhaps a place close to my hometown with a long horarium may be less of a struggle than a community with a flexible horarium but in a totally different culture or climate. To my mind what’s important is that a community is internally healthy. In my opinion, most canonically approved communities have a chance to thrive according to their own rule of life, whether strict or less so.

Speaking of challenges...In the case of the evangelical counsels, they themselves are already a great challenge and a great invitation. The rest is details, and a matter of God’s call to each.  

[chrysostom]

Looking at your longer account of your RL experience in a different thread I see my answer is even less pertinent to the question then I thought it was.

I am discerning RL in the early stages with a community, and there is strictness in some senses but also clear attention paid to balance, flexibility, and accomodating personal needs. There is also a lot of interaction with other communities - I did a conference there with a visiting religious priest - and that seems to be a good sign. Beyond that I'll just have to find out when I get to spend more time there. I can't figure it out from afar.

[gloriana35]

I only was asking because I have noticed that many very strict communities seem to have large numbers entering. I'd love to hear more from those who have been a part of these. I grew up in an era where religious life had huge numbers - and many of the communities I knew (including the one in which I lived) have only a handful of Sisters left. 

[TheresaThoma]

(Note: I have not yet entered religious life but I am seriously discerning and have friends that have entered.)

I am seriously discerning with a community that could be considered strict (a contemplative order). If I end up entering I will not have home visits but my family can come visit me. This is a bit of a sacrifice but in some ways this would be more consistent than how often I get to see my family now due to work and such.

Through my contact with various communities I have noticed that sometimes the personal time is tucked into or may be somewhat hidden in the schedule. For example with the community that I am discerning with there is some personal time listed in the schedule but there are other "pockets" of time plus what is not listed is that Sundays are basically free days (the necessary tasks like cooking, dishes, phone/door are on a rotating basis on Sundays). So outside of prayers and meals you can choose to spend that time with other Sisters or by yourself. I spent three months there on a live-in visit and sometimes certain parts of the life were difficult. The schedule overall is demanding but personally I found that I had better and more consistent sleeping and eating habits at the abbey than on my own. 

I think what many young women, myself included, see in these strict communities is distinctiveness, being set apart as a sign pointing to the things that are eternal. There is a strong desire for the support of a community and respect for traditions. In my time with the community it was beautiful to realize that what and how I was doing that day had roots that go back centuries (it is a Benedictine community). There is the sense of connection, which made everyday tasks richer. There is also a sense of security with these communities that some may see as strict. The practices and ways of life go back decades (if not centuries) and have changed very little and the community is still thriving today. If a young woman is looking at committing her life to something she wants to be relatively sure that it will still be in existence 40, 50, 60 or even 70 years from now. Even though the young women entering today did not see the immediate after effects of the confusion after Vatican II the effects are still evident. The question consciously or subconsciously arises, "what helped this community survive and thrive whereas others are dying out?" I have seen with some communities that are dying out they have in some ways lost what made them distinct. The Sisters live on their own, they don't have communal prayer, they have vastly different apostlates from their Sisters. There isn't much connectedness to the community or sometimes even the charism. This doesn't look much different from how a devout young woman can live today without being a part of that type community. So for many young women they see those communities and think "why should I join that community? I'm doing that already".  Those that kept more with their own tradition and identity even if the practices seem a bit too strict are still here. Finding that balance between tradition and renewal (and practicality) is hard but very necessary and some of the "strict" communities have proved that they can find that balance. The community I am discerning with was founded from another abbey (which traces back its origins to the early 1000s) over 80 years ago, there is a strong sense of tradition while being flexible which gives a sense of security that there is a good chance the community will still be in existence for another 80 or more years.

I do agree that there has to be a balance otherwise the strictness will become unhealthy. Also what may be too strict for one person may be perfect for someone else.  

With regards to devotions I have friends who are part of communities with communal devotions. I can see that is something very life giving for them personally but it also helps bind the community together because that devotion is an expression of the charism. In some cases it would be very odd not to have a particular devotion if it is part of their spirituality or charism. Again a community could possibly have "too many" devotions. Personally I'm not into lots of communal devotions and so I may look at the different prayers that a community has and think it is way too much but someone who is called to that community may just see that as how the community expresses its charism.