Broken spirit

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

Does anyone else feel like they will never find the peace, faith, hope, love and joy they once had in Christ?

My problem is sin and I hate it, I didn't used to sin so much. Christ says "he that hates his life will gain it but he who loves his life will loose it."

I think I'm hanging on to tight to life and what I think, and it is driving me to smell of elderberries what I can out of pleasure while I'm here. And I guess Jesus is saying to hate sin or you can't change problem is I had changed but it was more like being born again and was protected in a crib and now I'm out of the crib I'm being called to make the conscious choice to not sin. It just seems hard to me that I have to learn this lesson in my 30s instead of teens, its like I missed growing up.

Has anyone else experienced this and got through it or going through it, or has this dog just returned back to its own vomit? Either way I need to change because sin is killing my relationship with god and the church, it is making me lazy spiritually in seeking the things of heaven.

St john of the cross pray for us.