Depression

[theculturewarrior]

One last thing. Here is a link to a painting:

[url="http://www.kfki.hu/~arthp/art/c/caravagg/04/23conta.jpg"]http://www.kfki.hu/~arthp/art/c/caravagg/04/23conta.jpg[/url]

Sometimes I like to look at this painting when I'm blue. It's called, "the Calling of Matthew," and it shows Jesus in the right hand corner pointing to Matthew, the tax collector, in the left. I believe that that's Peter with Jesus, perhaps saying, "What? That guy?!"

Matthew in the left is counting his money with sadness and dejection, but Jesus wants better things for him. I look at this picture sometimes and think, "God wants better things for me."

God bless you.

[Norseman82]

I believe that more problems can be solved in the confessional than on a therapists couch.

Immaculata, the first thing to be sure of is that you are living right in the sight of God. Sure, none of us are perfect, but certain sins are worse than others. Keeping mortal sin off your soul is good groundwork for emotional health. 90% of the battle is faith; if you can get that taken care of, you will be in a better position to handle the other 10%.

Second, everyone goes through good days, bad days and "growing pains". It is a natural part of life. It doesn't necessarily mean there is something wrong with us, except for the psychologists who seek to "drum up business" and keep the entire nation in therapy.

The only thing I would see as requiring help right now would be if there is a physical problem such as a chemical imbalance. A doctor could probably run a blood test to see if that is the case and if so, then medication is called for.

Other than that, it could be the "Dark Night" or just another step in the maturing process where we learn to reassess our expectations.

[IcePrincessKRS]

I said this in the other thread, but I am praying for you. I know that there are others who are in situations similar to yours here and can offer far better advice than I ever could so know that I'm sending you many prayers and virtual hugs. :wub:

[immaculata]

[quote]This is where Satan comes along and wants to try and mingle with our thoughts, get us to dwell on such things. It's easier said than done of course, you can't just escape this in a flash (unless it's a miracle from God).[/quote]

Yeah, that's exactly what I feel like, like demons are attacking me or something.

[quote]I sit on my bed and imagine that Jesus is sitting by me w/ a MASSIVE smile on his face and that Daddy is there too. I also imagine Mary and just talk to them. I also ask Jesus to give me a hug.[/quote]

Sometimes I do that and pretend that Mary is wrapping her mantle around me and hiding me from all the demons.

[quote]   *SMILE*


(did that help )[/quote]

Yes it did!

[quote]Pray....of course; God brings us to our knees to make us more dependent on Him. As usual, admitting you have a problem and are powerless to correct it is the first step to recovery...so you are well on your way.[/quote]

I think about that a lot, that maybe this is a trial that God's putting me through.. sometimes I think I"m failing the test though..

[quote]Depression is an insidious disease. The grey is suffocating... you drown in the despair... trapped within yourself, unable to percieve anything correctly.[/quote]

You TOTALLY described how I'm feeling right now! wow...

[quote]Keep praying, and if at all possible, consider finding a Christian/Catholic therapist. It saved my life.[/quote]
[quote]I would definitely recommend seeing a therapist. From my experience, I always made a point of seeing therapists who were 1.) female and 2.) Catholic. But in the end we really didn't address religion in a major way. I guess it was mostly ME, I felt more comfortable opening up to someone if I knew that they were female like me, and also Catholic.[/quote]
[quote]But any good therapist would respect your faith. Oftentimes it's also good to see a therapist and a priest at the same time if need be.[/quote]

That's what I've been scared about going to see a therepist, that they wouldn't understand the faith side.. I used to talk to our chaplain at school a lot during the year, and he really really helped me, but now he's on retreat in california for most of the summer and I don't really know any other priests that I can trust and turn to.. I want to find a spiritual advisor, but I don't know where to start.

[quote]Anti-depressants are not a sign of weakness, nor are they the easy way out. As one who has been on them, I can tell you that even with them, it's not a walk in the park, but they can help. Depression very often has a physical, neurological component. That is why I call it a disease, because I sincerely think that that is what it is. I would at least be open to the possibility. They can make a difference, but not by making you unnaturally happy, but by allowing you to be happy.[/quote]

I'm not sure about going on antidepressants... my grandma just went on them, and she had all sorts of wacky side effects. Plus, I've heard all the stories about how a/d's can cause teenagers to be suicidal.. I'm going to try some other things first.....

[quote]Other than that, please, try to refrain from cutting yourself. One of my best friends did that and it became an addiction for her.[/quote]

My friend Sarah has been extremely supportive of me after the cutting, and she's helped me find other ways to take out my frustration other than on myself. (lol.. I told her last night that I think I"ve taken up WAY more than my share of "worry minutes" with her!!)

[quote]Hypothyroidism can trigger depression, so that's also something to be aware of.[/quote]

I'm glad you brought this up... my mom has been both hyper- and hypothryroid, so I'm at a big risk for developing it myself. I was tested about a year ago for thyroid problems, and it came up normal though.

[quote] One last thing. Here is a link to a painting:

[url="http://www.kfki.hu/~arthp/art/c/caravagg/04/23conta.jpg"]http://www.kfki.hu/~arthp/art/c/caravagg/04/23conta.jpg[/url]

Sometimes I like to look at this painting when I'm blue. It's called, "the Calling of Matthew," and it shows Jesus in the right hand corner pointing to Matthew, the tax collector, in the left. I believe that that's Peter with Jesus, perhaps saying, "What? That guy?!"

Matthew in the left is counting his money with sadness and dejection, but Jesus wants better things for him. I look at this picture sometimes and think, "God wants better things for me."[/quote]

That's beautiful! :wub:

Thanks for all your replies and prayers, everyone.. I don't want it to seem like I"m throwing a little pity party for myself. I think I'm going to print out this thread and read it whenever I start to feel myself getting trapped again. I'm surprised at how many people have gone through the same thing! (Jen, your story sounds almost exactly like mine!) I just keep thinking that if I can survive Senior year, things will get better.. college will bring new friends and new surroundings and new opportunites. Keep praying for me and everyone who's going through the same thing as me!!

[Thy Geekdom Come]

Immaculata, I've suffered from chronic depression before as well. Medicine is what got me through it and now I'm relatively happy and off the meds, but that doesn't work for everyone. I've also had experience helping to counsel the depressed (my exgirlfriend was a child rape/incest victim). I've noticed a few things.

We are often made more depressed by our surroundings. Depressed people don't make very good friends to depressed people, they just dig each other deeper into the hole. Depressive relationships, depressive friendships, depressive music, even down to depressive colors. They all have an impact.

Praying more will probably help, sure, as praying more would help every one of us, and there is always a call to more prayer, but it is like the man who was in the flood waters and spurned two boats and a helicopter...I'm sure you know the old joke/parable...we need to look toward God as he works through those around us to help us. I'm sure God's answering your prayers, it just comes the time when you have to go out and seek for the answer. It's kind of like the "Ite, Missa Est." Once prayertime is over, you've got to go out and live it.

Seeing a counselor was one of the best things I did. Even just to have someone who knows you, listens to you, and sits with you can be comforting. Sometimes the counselor doesn't even need to say anything for you to feel more comfortable.

What I would do is find a member of the clergy who has counseling experience and take it a step further. I think God should be intimately involved in all our counseling, so I would actually recommend a spiritual director. This is a person who is behind even more confidentiality, but is often closer, more of a friend, and less corporate and money-seeking. It says a lot when the counselor is more concerned about helping you than about money, and I think a spiritual director (free) is the superlative of this.

Also, when I went to counseling, my parents would drive me with my little brother, etc. All the ride there and all the ride back, there would be whining and complaining and fighting...it really brought my mood back down. So, when you go to counseling, make a whole day of it. Take yourself to counseling, don't hang out with any friends that day who are going to bring you down, go out afterwards to see a movie or shop or something enjoyable. Take a day's vacation, from rising to bedtime, and you will have that whole day of good things to guide you the rest of your time until your next meeting.

I hope this helps. I'll be praying for you.

[Carnanc]

I'll be praying for you immaculata. I don't know if I have ever suffered severe depression, but I have definitly had low self-esteem primarly because of social anxiety and feeling that anyone comfortable socially and not shy has it all together, thats always made me feel different, cause I always thought I was alone. whats truly amazing its my low periods of shame or depression or anxiety which have really been one of the primary things that led me to turn to God, and make it so my faith in him was not dependant on good feelings but on a more solid conviction that continues to carry my through the tough times. I'll be praying!

[Ash Wednesday]

[quote name='Norseman82' date='Jun 26 2004, 02:45 PM'] I believe that more problems can be solved in the confessional than on a therapists couch.
[/quote]
That doesn't mean there is no place in it for society, however.

Immaculata, I'm glad the thyroid is ticking ok right now. Don't hesitate to keep an eye on it, though, if your mom has had those problems. I have to get mine checked at least twice a year because levels fluctuate.

Any thyroid patient knows what a trip it is constantly having to get your medication dosage adjusted all the time... :angry:

[BurkeFan]

[quote name='Ash Wednesday' date='Jun 26 2004, 04:39 PM'] That doesn't mean there is no place in it for society, however. [/quote]
Indeed... Fulton Sheen once had a comment about this, and I'll try to find it and post it.

[quote]I'm not sure about going on antidepressants... my grandma just went on them, and she had all sorts of wacky side effects.  Plus, I've heard all the stories about how a/d's can cause teenagers to be suicidal.. I'm going to try some other things first.....
[/quote]

Also, Immaculata, when you said that your Grandmother went on them and she had a bunch of side effects, it may be that she went on Tricyclics or MAOIs... both are really powerful classes of anti-depressants, with alot of side effects. Usually, the SSRIs (selective seritonin reuptake inhibitors) have very few side effects. I still maintain that they're worth a shot.

In Christ,
Dave

[~*AnCoRa33*~]

[quote name='immaculata' date='Jun 25 2004, 10:08 PM'] does anyone ever feel really really fake? Like, I look at myself sometimes, and I look like such a great Catholic and star student and perfect child on the outside, but I know that inside I'm all messed up and angry and hateful... sometimes I feel like I'm just pretending and I don't know which one is the real me... [/quote]
I know exactly how you feel!! I feel that way all the time!! Like, you don't have anywhere to go and be that person you are on the inside!! Like, you just have to fake it. I just have to walk away from the mirror, prayer journal. I'm praying for you, Immaculata!! God bless YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Iacobus]

[quote name='immaculata' date='Jun 26 2004, 03:00 PM']
I'm not sure about going on antidepressants... my grandma just went on them, and she had all sorts of wacky side effects. Plus, I've heard all the stories about how a/d's can cause teenagers to be suicidal.. I'm going to try some other things first..... [/quote]
Yes they can. Prozac has been shown to boast confindince levels to the extent you think you are invinaclbe and get killed doing something dumb. My friend that tried to kill himself was on antidepressations at the time, he tried to OD on them. So my personal exprince with them has been negative. Plus his dad was on antis for a bit and when he went off them he was very mad and violent and anrgy filled. So yeh, they scare me. They might work but I would try other things 1st.

[Carnanc]

I've been recommended to go on anti-depressants, and I've never been sure about them. I have believed that it is possilbe to change your beliefts about yourself with out the help of drugs, I know its probably a lot harder that way, but possible.

[Azriel]

Lets back off a bit talking about medication. What works for one, will not work for someone else. If someone is suffering from clinical depression, the best route is to speak with medical professionals, with the help of a therapist ... Immaculata may not need meds, and that's ok. But, some others do. I do at the moment take Zoloft, but I don't believe any of us are qualified enough to recommend medicine.

We are all praying for you kiddo. In seeking someone to talk to ... is there someone at your parish that you trust / and/or mother trusts? The parish itself may have recommendations on counselors.

[immaculata]

I know that there are lots of good and holy priests in our diocese, but I really don't know any of them that well personally.. and I'd feel weird going up to a priest I don't know and asking for spiritual direction... I just wish Fr. Klamut wasn't gone for the summer

[Sinner]

Immaculata,
What an appropriate time to ask about Spiritual Direction. Today is the Feast Day of St. Josemaria the founder of Opus Dei. Priests of Opus Dei are especially good at Spiritual Direction. There are 60 centers in or near 19 cities: Boston; Chicago; Dallas; Delray Beach, Florida; Houston; Los Angeles; Miami; Milwaukee; New York; Pittsburgh; Princeton, New Jersey; Providence; St. Louis; San Antonio; San Francisco; South Bend, Indiana; South Orange, New Jersey; Urbana, Illinois; and Washington, D.C.
I hope you are near one. If not...... just start with any Priest and ask.

A Physician that treats himself has a fool for a Doctor. Those who try to correct their own spiritual maladies have no need of a Priest.

Don't be like me... I tried to control my situation alone for 20 years before I got help both spiritually and mentally.... I would get just enough under control for the deciever to allow me to think I had it handled, then slowly but surely....... things got worse: Until I admitted defeat.

LET SOMEONE HELP YOU. STEP OUT OF SELF........ AND TRUST SOMEONE.

Admit your humanity......... by admitting your depression you are way ahead. You are special. God has a special plan for you, of this I am sure.

GodSpeed.

Edited June 27, 2004 by Sinner

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote] I know that there are lots of good and holy priests in our diocese, but I really don't know any of them that well personally.. and I'd feel weird going up to a priest I don't know and asking for spiritual direction... I just wish Fr. Klamut wasn't gone for the summer

[/quote]

I felt weird doing it too. If it makes it any easier, all seminarians have to have one, so you certainly won't be the only one!

It is VERY rewarding, I promise. But you do want to get a priest whom you trust and whom you know is spiritual himself, not to mention someone you feel comfortable around.